Betrayal.  What pierces me so thoroughly?  This is as alone as it gets.  The moment that just won’t fade.  Time stops and the betrayal repeats over and over.  Memorized.  Carved in stone.  I don’t hope.  I endure.  Recovery would mock the injury.  Nothing is ever new again.  What is old chains me.  I am a ruin.

Esau was wronged.  A father is deceived, a son denied his inheritance.  The stolen blessing cannot be unsaid.  The old ways have been violated.  Jacob flees for his life.  He is separated from his mother.  He too will be betrayed.  This is an old story.  One child favored over the rest.  Another feels abandoned.  Brothers turn against each other.  Parents take sides.  Lies.  We know all about this.  Nothing new here.  Years of strife and a parent reaches out blindly:  is this really my child?  What does his voice hide?

Jesus’ words disrupt our despairing repetitions:  it is mercy I seek, not sacrifice.  Rejoice for I am with you.  Do not be troubled.  Forgive as I have forgiven you.  You are made new.

Your words are bigger than my sneers.  I feel a shifting.

God, are we already too old?  It is easy to continue along our well-worn paths.  Nothing is really new.  No one really changes.  What’s always done is good enough.  Still, we listen. You interrupt the monologues of the past.  Our skin stretches to hold you.  We do not burst.  This wine tastes good.   Sometimes our sore hearts feel like dancing.