Daily Reflection
August 9th, 2001
by
Jeanne Schuler
Philosophy Department
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Numbers 20:1-13
Psalms 95:1-2, 6-7, 8-9
Matthew 16:13-23

Doubt

Everything is going strong.  We have momentum.  Success fires us up.  Until events strike hard.  Power slips away.  I am alone.

Did we leave slavery only to wither in the desert heat?  Where is God?  Your presence is not felt.  Even Moses slinks away from the general outrage.  We look back with longing.  Bondage had its certainties.  Now nothing is clear except death.  It was not supposed to be like this.  Power was on our side.  Pharaoh was brought low.  Now thirst torments us, and we donít know who we are.

What lasts?  Whom do I trust?  How deeply are we loved?  The lessons of abandonment.

Peter was flush with faith.  He had the keys.  He was the rock.  The map was at hand.  He recited the call and knew Jesus by name.  Then the map gets ripped away.  Directions change and the stomach lurches.  What do I know anyway?

In the midst of faith arises doubt.  From doubt comes the possibility of love.

The map is bigger than all our dreams of freedom.  Nothing real is missing for long.
 

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