"Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the
earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword. For I have
come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and one's enemies
will be those of his household.”
These words of Jesus strike us as strange coming from a teacher
who emphasizes love and reconciliation so strongly. We’re
taught elsewhere that loving our neighbor is the second most important
commandment.
We learn that we have responsibilities to forgive and to reconcile
as part of our covenant relationship with a loving God (forgive
us as we forgive others; go first and be reconciled and then come
back with your gift; the parable of the king and the unforgiving
servant). The words from Jesus strike me today as a warning from
Jesus that our life as a follower will still be fraught with difficulty
and that we should not assume otherwise. While we have the help
of the Lord, as the Psalm reminds us, and ultimate hope in victory
to cheer us and strengthen us, we nonetheless have to deal with
tragedy and pain. Moreover, harm or pain may come from those closest
to us and doing what Jesus calls us to do may make it even more
likely that we experience such conflicts.
Ultimately, we’re challenged to submit all of our relationships
and all of our efforts to provide for our security (work, investments,
and homes) to the higher purpose of serving God.
If any of these becomes our ultimate security, then we lose our
lives as God intended us to live them. However, if we’re willing
to submit it all, to “lose our lives for His sake,”
then we’ll find real life. The rewards are great, even for
small acts of obedience such as providing hospitality. However,
Jesus warns us, acceptance and approval of others (even those closest
to us and even those with good intentions) is not one of the guaranteed
rewards. We may well be called to make hard choices, even to push
our families or spouses to make hard choices when it would be easier
to let things be. This does not downplay the importance of working
for reconciliation, but reminds us that the most important thing
is to obey Christ’s call in our lives. Ignoring that call
to instead do what a parent or spouse wants us to do (or what job
security demands we do) may create peace in the household for a
time, but ultimately then we lose our life – in terms of losing
our opportunity to follow a calling from which we were created,
and in terms of losing intimacy in our relationship with Jesus.
This teaching is made all the more difficult for those of us in
relationships with other Christians because we know that discernment
can come from our relationships – so it is not the case that
all objections to our ideas by others should be dismissed as distractions.
It is also the case that our call to serve may well include spending
considerable time and attention serving those in our household.
Losing our life for Christ’s sake doesn’t mean that
we’re called to abandon those responsibilities. However, we
must be willing to do so if necessary. I’m always challenged
to consider my priorities when I think of Hannah giving up Samuel,
of the sacrifices of missionary friends, and the family sacrifices
of many who work for justice. We must be ever vigilant in prayer
– thanking God for the blessings that our families and relationships
provide, working for reconciliation, asking for guidance, and being
open to responses that may shake things up.