What I Almost Was.
Today’s readings remind me of how truly blessed I am and continue to be. Looking back on the past twenty years of my life I am thankful for everything that has happened, but I find myself most thankful for everything that did not happen.
Going into college I had my life planned out for me. I had friends, family, a strong faith and a boyfriend. I didn’t need anything more. I thought I knew exactly who I was going to be, and where my life was going. I was completely wrong.
Three days before becoming a student at Creighton University for the first time, I returned to the United States from serving at Esperanza Viva Youth Homes in Puebla, Mexico. Originally, I was going to stay home and spend the last few weeks of summer with friends, family and packing. Going to Puebla was the right decision. I received more from the children than I could ever give in return, and returned home completely changed. At the time I didn’t realize the extent of the change in me that had occurred. All I knew was that I wanted to go back to Esperanza Viva Youth Homes at some point in my life, and I now had the desire to learn Spanish. Looking back now, I thank God I didn’t stay home those few weeks before leaving for college.
In the second semester of my freshman year of college, my boyfriend and I broke up. My increasing desire for a deeper and more intimate relationship with God scared him. We went our separate ways. At the time, I didn’t think this experience changed me much either; I saw it simply as a challenge to get through. Looking back now, I thank God he isn’t the man I will end up with.
At the end of my second semester of freshman year, I still wanted to pursue my dream of becoming a marine biologist. I received a phenomenal experience to take a travel course over the summer with an excellent professor. During this travel course I came face-to-face with the realization that marine biology is not for me. I could not bring myself to enter into a career in which I couldn't directly demonstrate my love for humankind. The rest of the summer I tried to figure out a way to incorporate science and my true passions and decided to go into secondary education. Looking back now, I thank God I am not headed down the path of a marine biologist.
In the first semester of sophomore year, I took my first education class and loved it. However, in order to graduate in four years I would have to wait to do the education portion of my schooling until after I graduated. [I would be doing the education portion as a master student.] I was okay with that. As the semester continued I began to realize I was interested in the education portion but not the science. I had no desire to pursue a science major. The idea of spending the next two and a half years studying biology was no longer appealing. I made a choice to take a risk and walk away from the security science could give me and follow my heart. Looking back now, I thank God I am not a biology major.
In the second semester of my sophomore year, I started with a blank slate. I am majoring in Anthropology and Theology, trying to love humankind to the best of my ability and seeing where God leads me next. Seeing where I am now and looking back, I thank God I am not what I almost was.