In the first reading, we get to meet Eleazar, a wise scribe who has the courage to refuse to eat the meat that was prescribed by the king. His friends urge him to pretend to eat the “lawful” food in order to escape the death penalty. However, unlike what most of us would do, the ninety year-old Eleazar prefers to die at the hands of men for his faith. Today, he is a hero in our faith tradition, a hero who died in the name of virtue. Although we live in a different century, the question remains: What are we ready to endure to defend our faith, our values or virtues? How many of us would be ready to die for these values?

I have to categorically admit that I would give in to the “instruments of torture.” I would never try to do anything unlawful, but I am far from being a brave woman. I regard my search for truth as a journey. I do not have clear answers to any of my questions. In fact, I probably ask too many questions and I will try to answer the questions scientifically. But faith cannot be explained by science. They are two different things. I have a thirst to know and understand what faith is, but at the same time, I don’t necessarily trust what I perceive. Sometimes I think that it would be easier to know and believe in certainty as Eleazar did. Perhaps this unshakable belief comes with old age? Perhaps it comes with trying harder? Perhaps it comes with more prayers? I will keep working at my personal journey. This journey may be filled with frustration and despair or it may be filled with hope and excitement. 

Today, I pray for the Lord’s guidance. May He direct and protect us all on our personal journeys.