Where is their support of you? You’ve just told them how you are going to die, and they ask whether they can get a good spot in the kingdom. But you give the same message over and over: Be a slave, not a master. Be the servant of others. What will you gain if you own the world but destroy yourself? What could give you back your soul? If you want a place of honor, you must become a slave and serve others.
Let me listen again. You are asking me to let go of the idea that I can somehow master complete control over my life. You invite me to trust you more and let you help me with my struggles. Every time I am willing to admit that I don’t have to do it alone, I move closer to embracing the limitations that bring me closer to you. Every time I accept the humility of my own imperfections, am I not gaining myself instead of the world that rejects you?
I am at a crossroads in my life, dear friend, Jesus. I can’t continue my life the way it has been, and that frightens me. I know I want to change, but I struggle with this alone until I remember that you will be with me in this. It means giving up control and trusting you. It means accepting that you are my Lord and giving up the god of perfection and success I have followed for so long.
I come before you with my hands open, asking for help. In the quiet, I feel you with me even if my words are simple ones. Be with me, Lord. I have been so deaf to your message. Heal me. I have been so blind to all the things you have wanted to share with me. Heal me. Thank you for coming into my life in this powerful way.