Suggestions for Helping Yourself Through Grief

Don’t take on new responsibilities right away.

Don’t over-extend yourself. Keep decision-making to a minimum.

Accept help and support when offered.

Ask for help. No one minds.

It is very important to find someone who cares, understands, and with who you may talk freely.

It’s okay to need comforting.

Seek the support of others.

Invite a relative/friend for dinner or overnight.

Consider meeting new people.

Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time.

Lean into the pain. It cannot be outrun. Let the grief/healing process run its full course.

Through this emotional period, it is okay to feel depressed.

Crying does make you feel better.

If Sundays, holidays, etc. are especially difficult times, schedule activities that you find
particularly comforting for these times.

Seek the help of a counselor or clergy if grief is unresolved.

Try to get adequate rest. Go to bed earlier. Avoid caffeine.

Good nutrition is important. Decrease junk food. Eat a balanced meal.

Keep a journal. It is a good way to understand what you are feeling/thinking and, when reread later, you see you are getting better.

Read. There are many helpful books on grief. If grief is understood, it is a little easier to handle.

Exercise. It offers an opportunity to work off frustration, aids sleep.

Try to socialize with family and friends. Don’t feel guilty if you have a good time. Your loved one would want you to be happy.

It’s okay to be angry. You may be angry at yourself, God, your loved one, others, or just angry in general. Don’t push it down. Let it out.

Do not have unrealistic expectations of yourself. Grief takes time. It comes and goes.

Do things a little differently, yet try not to make a lot of changes. This sounds like a contradiction, but it is not.

Plan new interests. Join a class (exercise, tennis, self-awareness, craft, adult education).

Read, learn something new. Rediscover old interests, activities, friends.

Plan things to which you can look forward -
a trip, visit, lunch with a friend.

Start now to build memories today for tomorrow.

Find quotes/posters/poems that are helpful to you
and post them where you can see them.

Pray, read the Bible, trust.

Other ideas:
Take a hot relaxing bath; bask in the sun; take time for yourself (movie, theater, dinner).

Be good to yourself.

Do something for someone else.

Join a volunteer or support group.

Helping others does much to ease the pain. Reach out and touch someone.

Be determined to work through your grief.

Remember, you will be better. Hold on to hope.

Some days you just seem to exist, but better days will be back.

Simply stated - put balance back in your life: PRAY, REST, WORK AND PLAY.

From Safe Place by Anita Savage, Stanford CT