Week 15

15,15a and 16 - I awake and am back in that stable/cave with Mary her new-born child, Joseph and all the animals. What a mess. Who am I? The cattle are lowing, Mary needs to be washed, dressed in a clean robe and fed. The baby awakes, he does not cry. He is at his mother's breast taking in her warm milk. All around us glows a light shining in the dark, the glory of the Lord is upon us. The shepherds come. Their fears subside as they melt into the scene. They are helping me to clean the stable, laughing and joking as they clean up the mess and put down new straw and bring hay to feed the animals.

They go to the inn and fetch the inn keepers wife who attends to Mary and the child. He is a lovely child and we all adore him. Joseph is so proud to be there. He is so strong and helps with the heavy work, shifting all the old bedding and taking it away to the midden outside. 

The inn keeper arrives, he is so ashamed he had turned the little family away. He brings food, fresh bread to satisfy our hunger and our desire to be fed. Wine too to revive our drooping spirits after our work is done. We are all filled with joy, accepting, without understanding, the miraculous gift of the child, born to us this day.

The dawn breaks and outside three weary travellers appear dressed in finery.  They too are welcomed in. They share our bread and wine. They bring expensive gifts in homage to the baby born to us.

The scene is set. We are not alone, our fears subside, never shall we journey without the comforting help we feel, no matter what prevails. We are at rest and little me included, for I am but a child too with much to learn by being present!

 My Mary suffers the pangs of birth in a stable, filled with cattle, sheep and their excrement. Joseph is with her, by her side, just like fathers are now in our world. He comforts her and the breath of the beasts of the field keeps her warm. She is grateful for the shelter from the storm, the storms of weather, yes, but also from the hostile world of outside ' no room at the inn'.

Our God of the Our Father sustains her. One last push and her baby comes with lungs filled with cries at being born, our saviour who is Christ the Lord! She bends down and buries his wet body in her arms, despite her blood, still covering over his little body. She wraps him in cloths and looks up at Joseph, grateful for his love and care but most of all for his acceptance of the mystery surrounding the child's conception.

This little holy family are forerunners of living the will of God for them, not their will. Unquestionably, they journey, leading the way for us to follow whatever befalls, so that because of them, we are enabled to hand over our lives, in trust to the Lord our God who loves us, is born to us, forgives us and will die for us so that we may live with him for ever.
Thank you Lord

My life, a stable,
Simple, warm, safe, I am able
To know the finger I hold,
Gift beyond any frakensense, myrrh, or gold,
Life source, fruit of womb, with us at table.

Week 15a
Coming to the end of these 2 weeks over Christmas it has been a wonderful experience to meet Mary, Joseph, Elizabeth and Zechariah. The shepherds, and Inn owners as well as the Wise Men. A very full time of reflection, prayer and contemplation.
Entering the stable during the past week to visit our Lord it has been very disconcerting to not be able to “see”  him, I just couldn’t picture his face and was troubled by this. But yesterday the thought came to me of the scripture John 20 vs 20: Blessed are they that have not seen, and still believe.
I am truly very blessed!
God bless you all
Jane NZ

Joseph asked me to travel with them to Bethlehem.  He was worried that the baby might come and he would need help.  I walked the dusty roads beside the donkey that carried Mary.   I entered the stable with them when we could find no other shelter.   Thankfully, it was warm with the heat from the animals and the sweet-smelling hay rustled as they moved about.  Mary went into labor that night and I witnessed her baby come into the world.  What indescribable joy!  Later I held him while Mary slept. -Judy - Week 15

GOD'S SIGN IS SIMPLICITY - Week 15

Week 15: I follow the Holy Family to the Presentation at the Temple in Jerusalem.  How far we have come since Mary and Joseph took off on this long journey. Mary pregnant.  Joseph eventually trusting while being pragmatically aware of what was going on around them.  There were dangers.  Of course, a good number of people just didn't care .. So absorbed in their own affairs.  But Joseph and Mary have never been absorbed like this. They have studied and prayed around God's historical promise. Yes it seems so ridiculous that from their ordinary backgrounds God has called them.  But they have learned and they are learning even faster to place their total trust in God.

Then there is the birth itself.  Not in the best of places.  Homeless ... Dependent on strangers to support.  But over the days after the birth between the feeding and sleeping periods of this new baby; between the joyful appreciation for the miracle of life and the anxiety about looking after Him just right; between these periods others come into the picture ... Shepherds ... Boisterous laboring ... Definitely working class; then wise men from far away ... Definitely the "professional class".  What this means Mary and Joseph don't discuss much with me but I can see that like me these visitors know much more is going on here. I notice too that apart from a few casual visitors, these are the only close visitors.  People still go about their affairs.

So Joseph gently reminds Mary that they must do their duty and go up to Jerusalem and make their offering.  This is key to their religious upbringing and key to their trust in God.  Yet they do so somewhat fearfully. What will people say?  This is a child conceived outside of marriage and by an unnamed father.  There are dangers (somehow there are always dangers associated with Jerusalem). Again I see the deep trust Mary and Joseph have that God will be there and they must return to Him in worship.  Then there is the affirmation in the temple as Simeon and Anna take the baby and relate how they see this baby as the fulfillment of their prayers. 

As we travel onwards from Jerusalem I discuss what has happened with Mary and Joseph.  We do not really understand it all.  We only know that we have to travel onwards and work to bring Him into this world. Mary as a young girl has dreamed of being a mother.  Joseph at his carpenter's table has often thought about having a family.  Both have deeply prayed like Simeon and Anna for God's promise to be realized. Now they see all these desires dome together.  They ask me what I have deeply desired and like Anna and Simeon I feel it is fulfilled here.  How?  I'm not sure but I want to continue in the journey whether it is in the quietness of the desert, the noise of the refugee camp, the bustle of the village or the lurking attraction and danger of Jerusalem.

This is my second time around making this wonderful Retreat.  Over the years since then, when I was fairly newly widowed, I have been able to grow closer and closer to our dear Lord Jesus.  This also includes being free to go to Mass every day which gives me so much nourishment.  I find my relationship with Jesus has become a very close friendship and that I seem to be talking to him all day.  I am not a recluse, I am a matriarch (I discovered this when my youngest child of five, now a man with his own children, asked me if it was alright to send his son to bed because of a row over homework. . . asking me, for advice?  Wow, I thought, I’ve made it!) I interact with many friends as well as families, I am a webmaster – I do all sort of things but my relationship with Jesus is everything.  I used to be super-efficient but with age – I am nearly 80 – everything slows down, I get so slow and clumsy that I find I rely on Jesus for very small things.  Then I think:  how can I ask him for help with this, or that, and I remember God cares for everything, even mosquitoes and spiders, so he also has time to care for me.  And he does.

My wife and I have been going through the Retreat during the past year. When I reached weeks 14 and 15 where we are encouraged to use our imaginations to enter into the scenes surrounding Christ's birth, I started doing some journal writing, imagining that I was a friend of Joseph's, who accompanied him through the whole Christmas story, from the uncertain beginnings in Nazareth to the visits of the Shepherds in Bethlehem.
     Since I'm a music director at my church, I began to think, "This would make a great addition to our Christmas program!" I polished up my journal stories and asked two of the dramatic "souls" in our community to read them. One of them was a man who read the reflections of Joseph's friend, the other was a woman who read the reflections of Mary's friend. The readings were interspersed with musical selections from our choir. The result was amazing.... "Best Christmas Concert ever!" "Where did that amazing drama come from?" That was the nature of the comments I got.
Thank you for this Retreat. It helped me and my whole church community to more deeply experience the birth of Christ in a deeper and more spiritual way.
Steve B

I am on week 15 and havingtrouble tryingto getmy imagination to focus on the scene atthe stable withMary and Joseph awaiting the birth of Jesus.  I went to bed last night and as I frequently do,woke up.  While lying there and wondering why I was having this problem the thought of being on a camping trip came to me. I'm not sure how cold it would have been in Bethlehem at that time but with the town overflowing with people at that time I wonderede how Joseph would be able to find firewood in that strang place in the middle of the night.  How were they giong to be able to keep warm as thet tried to sleep? No down sleeping bags..no inflatable pads to lie on, and food..with all the inns filled to overflowing..so many others demanding to be fed  where could Joseph hope to find enough for Mary to keep up her strength? Joseph couldn't have carried very much in the way of supplies on the donkey.  What must have been going through Joseph's mind..The responsibilities of caring for,feeding and protecting Mary and the child Jesus. The self doubt, the what ifs, does he have the strength to provide all that they need?  In the morning I had an errand that required me to go inside the church..As I knelt facing the taberenacle I glanced over to my side and the creche was right next to me.  As I knelt and took in the familiar scene ..The stable,straw and hay left over fromthe animals needs,the other animals,Mary and Joseph caressing and protecting the baby Jesus.  Suddenly my imagination took a back seat and the reality of what they were going through came over me.  This was followed by a prayer of thanks to Mary and Joseph for their trust in the angels message and the resulting gifts we have received as a result of Jesus becoming man and his gifts of redemption and hope for us.  

Week 15:  Gracias a Dios for the countless blessings I have & continue to receive from this retreat. (& gracias a san ignacio).. I like many of my fellow travelers am amazed at the journey I'm making with Christ. In the first week or so I sent an email to the retreat leaders saying the site needed a spot for 'solo journals'.. without response i might add.. & now I know why. It's because, by this stage of the retreat, I have grown & been blessed over & over by the sharing. and yes I've shared too. so in the words of a fellow traveler, I'm intrigued to follow my "odd travel director" on an already difficult journey, but one that is amazingly peaceful as well. I don't know where it's going or how we're going to get there but I'm trying every day to trust more&more.. & know that Jesus is always holding my hand--if I ask him-- & wants to go with me to all the places on the journey--whether scary, smelly, or filled with love.  Prayers offered daily for & with you all from a little town on the Baja peninsula of Mexico. 

Week 15: We experienced the grace of Nochebuena & Christmas this week. I joined the nativity scene as a shepherd, lamb in arms, peering thru the cracks in the barn walls, edging ever closer to the doors, scared & still awe-struck at all the events of the night.. shepherds at the time of Jesus' birth were no longer the respected persons of Abraham's day.. they were some of the outcasts, almost always employed at the mercy of rich landowners, poor simple folk.. whom angels spoke to, sang & shone for..  so as one of the many shepherds in our world, I was blessed to join in the joy of my local church at the coming of El Niñito Jesú.  "What can I give Him, poor as I am? If I were a shepherd I would bring a lamb. If I were a wise man, I would do my part. Yet what I can, I give Him---give my heart."  

Christina R

My thoughts focused on Joseph hearing the news that there is a census and that they needed to travel to Bethlehem.  I never thought about how that news would have impacted Joseph and Mary: with Mary about to deliver, wasn't there some way out of this trip?  The travel would be so hard on her.  They would not have a place to stay. Joseph's business would be disrupted. They would be so far away from family when the baby came. And then a deep breath.  God would provide.  Joseph and Mary were united in this thought.  They would help and care for each other. The path would be difficult but God would provide.  
I think of how I react to changes in plans, in particular those that impact my family like the recent news that my son's job is transferring him out of state. My conversations with God after hearing about this change of plans were "a little tense."  The pain of the news is easing and I look to Mary's and Joseph's example: God will provide.  Yes, the path may be difficult but God provides.  Who knows what lies ahead?  Maybe there are some wonderful gifts with my son living in this new place.  God cared for his son, Mary and Joseph; God will care for my son, my husband and me.

Week 15: In  my time of prayer this morning, I was following the Ignatian retreat's directive to enter into the experiences surrounding the birth of Christ. As Mary and Joseph were repeatedly turned away from one inn after another after arriving in Bethlehem following their long journey, I was struck by two things. First, how Mary overcame her natural physical fatigue and anxiety as Joseph kept coming back with news of one failure after another to find accommodation for them. She made a choice, in the face of her physical and emotional distress, to SUPPORT and ENCOURAGE Joseph with words like "Don't worry, I'm sure we will find a place to stay. Maybe the next place we try will be the one." And she said this with a gentle smile for the man she loved and who was doing his best for her. She did it with Joseph in mind. She did not respond out of a focus on her own discomfort. That's the kind of role model Jesus had in his mother. And that, in turn, is what he gave us. A focus on us, not on his own discomfort.

How did Mary do that? The background chatter in her mind was the Angel's promise of who she carried in her womb and what God intended in her life and in the life of her son. She focused on that. She kept that in mind. And in the midst of anything but regal circumstances, she believed that God was somehow working out exactly what he had promised and intended. She chose to trust in him, despite the very natural fear and anxiety that her circumstances provoked. Out of the depth of her trust in her God, Mary was able to shine God's light into the life of Joseph with an encouraging word instead of saying "Oh no! My back is killing me and my butt is sore from sitting on this darn donkey so long! What do you mean you can't find us a room?!"

That is the first experience I had in my morning reflection of entering into the events surrounding the birth of Christ. The second was related to Joseph. He found himself unable to care for his wife in anything other than the meager shelter of a stable. He could have easily lost heart and discounted the words that had been spoken to him about whose child Mary was carrying. He did not say, "Right God! Is this how you intend to take care of your son? By housing his mother and I in this smelly little stable, and Mary ready to give birth anytime? Is this where you want your Son to born? How could God, King of the universe, mean for this to happen? It doesn't make any sense!"

No, he did not say that at all. He could well have thought it, but the words did not pass his lips. Instead, he went into that stable and made it as comfortable as he could for his wife. And that meant basically just spreading some fresh hay for her to lay down on. He couldn't do anything about the smell. He decided to trust that God knew what He was doing. And that freed him up to do what Joseph was able to do, which was to care for Mary and their soon to be born child to the best of his ability, and with care and affection. He was able to express care and affection because his focus was on God, not on his own discomfort and distress about their circumstances. He too, like Mary, made a CHOICE to focus on God. He made a choice not to focus on his own fear, anxiety and discomfort.

Dearest Lord God, thank you for granting me to grace of desiring to focus on you and to give you thanks in all things. Thank you for showing me how Mary and Joseph were able to do this. Thank you for bringing Jesus into that kind of family. Thank you for entrusting Jesus to these kind of people who had such faith in you and who were so obedient to focussing on Your Word rather than the fear, anxiety, or discomfort created by their circumstances. Help me to do the same, dear Lord. I cannot possibly do this without You. I so desire to bring You into the world in the ways that Mary and Joseph were able to reflect you for each other and for the soon to be born Jesus.

Nasha

There was so much emphasis on Jesus as the one I love, Jesus as the one who loves me as I went through the first 15 weeks of the retreat – that eventually it seemed natural to go to the marriage service.  And I spoke the marriage vows to Christ as my spiritual husband.  This was a great help and comfort to me, so I am sharing it in case someone else might have the same comfort.  And since then I have repeated those vows most days.  Now, in any small difficulty of the day or whenever I can feel my responses going wrong, it is as though he is right beside me, as my perfect husband, guiding and supporting me.

By His grace, within 3 days of my privately taking this step, my own “world” husband initiated conversations about how to improve our marriage, and we have been trying to work out, together, ways of doing that.  Praise God, because He, the Creator of everything who sees the sparrow fall, cares for me and leads me through all the trials of life into peace and joy.

Week 15a - Taking Stock

     Reviewing the graces which have been given to me the past weeks, led me to the stable again.   In that dark,  smelly place complete with a cow and 2 oxen I am reminded to focus my heart and my mind on that helpless,  tiny baby wrapped in Joseph's coat.  I was not able to bring anything so with great shame,  I inched myself towards Jesus.  I touched his fingers and he held on to my pointer as if to tell me:  "  It's alright.  You can stay with me despite your dirt,  your smell and your unruly hair. "  He's telling me that despite my arrogance, my self-righteousness,  my big,  big PRIDE, I am welcome to stay with him in that stable.  

     This Lenten season,  is no different from that Nativity scene.  The stable in our hearts should always be open for God to enter and live in it.  In that Nativity scene,  the focus should not be on the poverty of that stable but on the message of salvation that the Messiah brings to all of us.  And so in this Lenten season,  help me Lord not to focus on the pain and sorrow that You will endure onto your death.  Help me to focus on your resurrection!

Week 19:  I thought about the first time I left home.  I was excited to be on my own and a little afraid of what lay ahead.  I missed home and my family, but I soon  made lots of new friends.  It was fun making my own decisions about things, sometimes it was also confusing and a little overwhelming.  I also missed Mom's home cooking.   I think Jesus might have had some or all of these feelings on leaving home in Nazareth.

I picture Jesus as a handsome, fun-loving, go-getter who was smarter than most of us.  I think He heard God's call like all of us do, in the still of His heart.  He knew it was time to go and start His public ministry.  I think Jesus was a rabble-rouser, turning the country upside down.  He was not what was expected.  I think Mary was ready for Jesus to leave knowing her son would have to find His own path in life.

Then I thought of the parallel, that I was walking each day like Christ.  We are both being sent forth to build God's kingdom on earth.  One has to listen closely to the small, tiny voice calling us to "come follow me".  I, personally, wonder how what I am doing can possibly build God's kingdom.  Maybe I'll never know.  Usually it is nothing major.  Just small things that I am asked to do.  Jesus is a great example for me.  He started out just as I did, by getting baptized.  One of the glimmers I had this week was that Jesus was most probably hot and dusty when he got to the water.  Even though the river was probably murky looking, it was also inviting on a hot day.   So after being baptized, Jesus threw back His hair out of His eyes and laughed.  He laughed because He knew this was the beginning of His ministry and the water felt good on His skin, and afterwords the Father said, "This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased", and He knew He was on the right track.  What a great beginning to His ministry.

Week 15a: Looking back on the 15 weeks and how my life has changed as a result of the retreat, I'm surprised at how meaningful it's been.  I've been an on-and-off Catholic all of my adult life but now I've gone back to attending mass and receiving communion every Sunday, because I want to take every opportunity to be closer to Jesus. 
My husband of 43 years has stage IV cancer.  We've been dealing with it for almost two years and what I've learned from this challenge in our lives is that we are not in control; He is.  So the only choice we have is to surrender to His will, with love and with the faith that He knows what is best for us.  I started the retreat after reading about the life of St. Ignatius and his amazing capacity for surrender.  I know that in the months ahead being able to surrender is going to be the difference between my spiritual life or death.  The examples of Mary, Joseph and Jesus are helping me to understand exactly what this means and the depth of faith that we need in order to say, "Your will, not mine, be done." 
Thank you for this retreat. 

Week 15a: I think the best grace, besides the many I have already shared about, is the knowing deep within that God is near, and ever at my side guiding me as if I am the only one that he has to shepherd.  I know God in a very personal way.  He is not off in Heaven far away;  He is Here and Now.  And I know as sure as my heart beats He is present in the same way for all other persons as well.  I feel closer than ever to my God.  I also feel as if my life was finally "coming together" and pointing me in a direction that God wants me to travel.  I do not know what comes next.  I only know I'm content and at peace and I trust where I am being led.  And as others have shared, I am overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude and love for my Savior.  I am very emotional writing this, but I  hope all retreatants can find this place where I am at-the peace and contentment I have experienced.

In my experience one must be humble or you can not work with them.  The person who "knows it all"  is not very open to new ideas and guidance, but a humble person is.  That is why Jesus humbled Himself, to show us how to learn new ways.  He was teaching us as an infant.  My house is under construction.  For a year I had no windows in my kitchen, and I was used to 4 big windows in the kitchen.  Three weeks ago one window went in.  What a difference it made.  There was light again without an electric light.  I could see my yard outside again.  One window transformed my kitchen into a better place.  This is what the retreat has done for me; it has given me a window into my inner self and has transformed me.  Thank-you so much for creating this web site.

Week 15: I have been having a tough time with the meditation this week.  But this is what came to me.  I live on 5 acres which includes a barn.  The barn is quite old, cold and drafty and not a very clean place.  I believe that the place where Jesus was born was not a barn or stable but a cave.  A cave is cool and damp, and can be drafty.  Neither place is where I would think to lay a newborn.  Mary and Joseph had no choice about it.  This was all that there was.  The smells of animals can be quite pungent also.  Then the thought hit me that my heart is where the Lord Jesus wants to stay.  Is my heart  ready?  Is it cold and drafty?  Or is it quiet, peaceful, and warm?  Does my heart bear the odor of sins?  Or have I cleaned up my heart in reconciliation?  What is the best I can do to welcome the Baby Jesus?    This really makes me look at myself in a way I never have before.  And I do have a choice in this.  I can be the innkeeper that says there is no room, or I can take the Lord Jesus into my heart.  Am I ready?

This is week 15 for me.  Today I was completely at peace.  The feeling was wonderful.  The busyness around me, I remained calm and quiet.  I spoke gently to those around me. I almost felt like I was floating on a cloud. This Advent season is the first time I made appoint to embark, with my husband and children, on the true meaning  this season has to offer.  I feel so blessed to be part of this retreat.