Week 16

week 16 sharing
I would like to think that Our Saviour, Jesus Christ,  from His humble beginnings grew to maturity in the Wisdom of the Lord our God. There’s something here in relationship in the mystery of the growth of ourselves. Combined as we are in the Love  of Him always with us in the stages of our growth. Ever there when we stray. Fetching us back into His everlasting Fold, despite our wilfulness which leads to despondency.
Where did He journey to as a teenage child.. We have it in the Gospels, much to the chagrin of His beloved Mary and His loving carer Joseph, that when He strayed, He was in the Temple, preaching to the elders, explaining to Mary and Joseph in their anxiety, that He was ‘about His Father’s business’.
Thereafter, as part of His education and with the blessing of His ‘parents’, legend has it that, together with His uncle Joseph of Aramathea, following ancient trade routes in search of tin they came to Wales, the Wales of Gerald Manley Hopkins who wrote…..Lovely the woods………..cwms and vales……that go to make up this  world of Wales……only the inmate does not correspond’ ….maybe not! Hope also has it that we live and move and have our being in a loving,  forgiving, merciful Lord for ever accompanying us and at our side, no matter what befalls us. My loving Lord, Rescuing Redeemer !

https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/50370/in-the-valley-of-the-elwy__;!!MuWMPV1_1eXDnA!h-4Q9pA_leS7mxgDBEhWqPzyPOegddjMugQjJQMSqpx3YG0cq6-Nk-if2ika4diBoA$

Week 16: It has been 10 days of the most incredible feeling – of my heart expanding, of the one God within me, of an intense burning desire to win souls for the Lord. I feel like I have a very direct purpose, and that is to do the will of God in the world. I feel so blessed to be experiencing this grace, to so clearly know the Lord is with me, and I’m trying hard to remember it is a gift freely given and not something I should expect or that will be with me for a long time. It is so useful for me though because it is helping me come to an experiential knowledge of God-with-us. - Kim in Maryland

Week 16 - I can't contemplate Jesus' growing up without thinking of my own childhood. Reading others' reflections as an aid didn't trigger any imaginations either! Am I narcissistic! Wrapped up in selfish self?

Addressing this I am reminded of the intimations of a good friend, monk and sharer of his own contemplative life. He told me he thought Jesus was missing from home because he was with Joseph of Aramathea journeying across those ancient trade routes, across the Mediterranean to Cornwall in search of tin. We are told by some that Joseph was a blacksmith not a carpenter, so metal working was part of his trade. Jesus would have been familiar with this work as he watched Joseph work as a child.The need for metal would have been apparent.

Mary and Joseph would have encouraged the idea of Jesus to go with Joseph of Aramathea in order to broaden his outlook. Mary knew there was something of a mystery about Jesus from the time of his conception at the annunciation and presentation of him at the temple to Simeon with all that was said and with Anna present. Joseph complied with this mystery.

These two people, as we are told by holy scripture, were totally compliant with the Will of God. Like st Ignatius' 'take Lord and receive, all my Liberty, all my memory, my understanding and my entire will, all that I have you have given to me I now return to you, only give me your grace and my love of you for that is sufficient for me' applies.

This is not ignorance, far from it; it is the humility of these God given people created to show us the way. In doing so, we may in total imagination see our blessed child Jesus travelling afar.

What did he see? Well, not least, the wonders of his father's created world, not just as described in the Hebrew psalms, with which by this time he would have been familiar, but in total reality as the creation was revealed as he journeyed. Wonder, wonder of the Angels all about him! The seas, the mountains, the valleys, the rivers, displayed in the glorious light of the world about him.

Only later would the memories of his journeying be shown in taking up the scroll and reading his mission in the synagogue on his return.

Thanks be to God.
Patricia

Summing this up, whilst reading today's Sunday readings, I know that this nudging of the Holy Spirit during the week was right. Luis Rodriguez is so good to remind us that in all our failings, the source is from the heart. 

So I must make, not only amends, but consciously do something to correct the critical stance I take in regard to my behaviours towards others which come from the heart  lest all my devotions and pride in 'being good' lose their purpose and transparency. 

I have made the first steps towards correcting my behaviour towards others and feel confident to look at week 16!!

Thanks for the Graces received to write and I enjoin with all who read in love. Patricia

Week 16 — proves an enigma to me — try as you want Jesus is God and the second person of the Trinity — I would love to know much more about the hidden 30 years but quite frankly putting Jesus as another kid on the block who cheated at something stretches the imagination a bit — the hidden years a hidden for a reason — I have often wondered about the trip to Egypt and their lives in Egypt — the part that particularly disturbed is where I read that Jesus and His Father had to rethink something that they thought was a good idea at the time but needed tweeking!!! Excuse me is this the god we pray to and created the universe. Imagination is good and thinking about Mary pregnant is something that I never thought about — however, angels coming to you. Being overshadowed by the Holy Spirit etc. I am sure Mary and Joseph fully realized what needed to be done and kept all things in their heart — imagination is good and if it helps fine — but somewhere along the line while letting our imaginations run wild, we must realize that is God and not some 2 year old throwing a terrible twos tantrum — while I have learned much week 16, its readings and sharings have left me wondering if we truly understand what God has done for us — Remarkable, extraordinary, and loving — imagination about the lives they touched while in Egypt — imaginings what was God’s plan for Egypt and not somewhere else — are inviting — Jesus as a rough neck — bare chested stud — please!!!!!!!!!

This week, I reflected on Jesus as an adult to gather clues to His childhood.  I noticed an ongoing theme of love versus tradition and rules in the Gospels this week.  On Monday, all the people had to do was reach out and touch His cloak to be healed, Tuesday, He tells the Pharisees that their laws and traditions are actually causing them to go AGAINST God, then smack in the middle of the week, Jesus tells us that it is what comes out of our HEART that matters the most, Thursday, He goes against His culture to heal someone who has little more significance in society than a “dog”, He heals again on Friday saying, “Be opened!” and gives a man his ears and voice.  But Saturday sums up all for me!  Jesus says, "My heart is moved with pity for the crowd, because they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat.  If I send them away hungry to their homes, they will collapse on the way, and some of them have come a great distance."  Then He performs the miracle with which we are all familiar, feeding thousands of people with seven loaves of bread and two fish.  I’m not so focused on the miracle as the reason why Jesus chooses to perform the miracle.  I think what I want to say is that Jesus is what we might call a “softie”!  And there I see the kind of childhood He must have had. 

I was disciplining my own two and a half year old son earlier this week when I had this thought about Jesus being a bit of a “softie”.  I had just corrected my son for making too much noise in Church and we were having the follow-up staring contest.  I was able to keep a stern face for quite some time, but then I just couldn’t help it anymore and though I stifled the smile, my eyes must have given me away.  It was then that the thought occurred to me that perhaps caving in to love wasn’t so bad after all.  Perhaps it is even more important for me to do that as a parent than to be so obsessed with sticking to all the rules.  And I believe that is how Mary and Joseph must have parented Jesus, keeping Love at the center of their parenting, so much so that Jesus learned that at times, it would be NECESSARY for Him to break the rules in order to keep love at the center of His mission.  The people put their human need for food aside for three days just to hear God’s word.  Jesus, being in touch with their humanity and moved by their act of faith (call this their divinity?), did not leave them to starve.  He performed a miracle to satisfy the needs of the crowd, breaking the rules of nature and perhaps going against His own reluctance to perform miracles. - Week 16

Catherine

Since I began this retreat my life has been completely changed.  Not because of the wonderful solace and understanding I have found here but more so because our 24 year old daughter has been diagnosed with what appears to be an incurable form of cancer.  She has gone from what we thought was a healthy, vibrant person to someone on death’s door in the space of 4 months.   As I read “For the Journey” for week 16, I cannot help but ask Mary’s question – Why?   I have not lost any faith in our Lord and I know his plan is infinitely wiser and better than mine but it is hard not having the knowledge yet as to Why our daughter must go through this.  Why not me instead of her?  We are praying for a miracle.  Now it seems only a miracle can save her earthly life.   My wife and I have taken our children to mass every Sunday of their adolescent lives and attempted to teach them about the comfort and love that comes from our faith.  I feel we didn’t do a great job in this endeavor.  Only one of our 4 children attends church and our ill daughter rejected the faith with a vengeance as a teenager.   If she loses her life on earth now, I wish I could somehow gain for her the comfort that I have found from our faith but I am scared to broach the subject with her for fear it won’t be the lovely experience I want it be for her.   So many conflicting feelings.  Please pray for her and pray for our family. May God bless each of you. -Week 16

The Holy Family suffered. They experienced danger from powerful sources. They experienced the fear of the unknown. But they kept to the path, even when they did not know or understand the full plan. They trusted God and His unfolding plan. God grant me the grace to trust your unfolding plan for me and my family. -Week 16

I wasn't expecting much this week. Although I have found fruit in imagining this period of Jesus' life before, for some reason I started out with low expectations about my imagination and God's power to challenge me. But I did find much fruit. I developed some vivid images of Jesus encountering people as he grew up. These encounters shaped the way he was able to deal with people in his ministry. I thought of hiow he develops love for everyday people as they went about their business, understanding the fears, loves, dilemmas and challenges they faced. I see him develop a sceptism about the really religious people who follow just rules for their own good. I then enter into conversation with Jesus about the experiences that have shaped me. I see that Jesus has many of the same experiences but that he is able to shape them in different ways as he brings God the Father into each encounter. How can I do this better? That is an area of challenge. I also ask Jesus where he finds the roots of his desire to reach out to the poor and needy and discuss where that emanates in my life. I find reassurance in Jesus' desire to see that I can still develop and still be challenged. -Week 16

Week 16: I wasn't expecting much this week.  Although I have found fruit in imagining this period of Jesus' life before, for some reason I started out with low expectations about my imagination and God's power to challenge me.  However,  I did find much fruit.  I developed some vivid images of Jesus encountering people as he grew up.  I imagine how these encounters shaped the way he was able to deal with people in his ministry.  I thought of how he develops love for everyday people as they went about their business, understanding the fears, loves, dilemmas and challenges they faced.  I see him develop a sceptism about the really religious people who follow just rules for their own good.  I then enter into conversation with Jesus about the experiences that have shaped me.  I see that Jesus has many of the same experiences but that he is able to shape them in different ways as he brings God the Father into each encounter.  How can I do this better? That is certainly an area of challenge. I also ask Jesus where he finds the roots of his desire to reach out to the poor and needy and discuss where that emanates in my life.  I find reassurance in Jesus' desire to see that I can still develop and still be challenged.

Week 16:  In 'these or similar thoughts' the storyline included an incident when as a child Jesus cheated at a game & Mary saw him.. I don't agree with that because Jesus was like us in every way but sin.  But it did prompt my thinking of how he would have responded to 'our everyday life situations'.. I can picture Jesus standing up for the one being bullied--every time. I can picture him running into Joseph's shop for his chores & carpentry lesson, maybe even a few minutes late because he was picking a handful of wildflowers for Mary. I can see him being inquisitive about the smallest wonders of God's world & getting muddy & dirty enjoying them all.  I can imagine him as a teenager being the one everyone loved to have around.. happy, appreciative, a peacemaker.. though all had had their comfort zone disturbed by him.  I can see him at Joseph's side, watching & learning, not just from Joseph but from all those around him, witnessing sin, perhaps a bit puzzled by it.. but as he grew 'in wisdom & stature' he would look at all of them, into their souls, justly, encouraging, forgiving.  Thank you God for the opportunities to know Jesus in a more personal way than ever before, our brother & our Lord.

Week 16: Reflecting on Jesus and his "hidden years" gives me the grace to realize that Jesus had to learn.  He was taught.  He made mistakes.  Mistakes are not necessarily sins.  He made a mistake assuming that his parents were expecting him to leave the family as soon as he was 12 and initiated as a man into the temple.  He made the mistake of not communicating with his parents about his desire to stay and be at the temple.  Did his parents make the mistake of not allowing him to stay at the temple and be educated by the priests?  We, as Catholics, hold true that Jesus led a sinless life, and so did Mary.  Yet, it is hard for me to think that they never made mistakes.  And I think that Jesus  staying behind in the Temple was a mistake that the exuberance of his youthfulness made.  He and his mother tried to understand, after the fact.  Isn't that how we often learn?  We learn by mistakes we make.  At times we are able to learn just by being taught, but even then, it is hard to conceive that there were no mistakes made by Jesus.  I praise God that not all my mistakes are sins.

Christine M.

Week 16 -  The Hidden years - A Carpenter's Son

      One insight which particularly struck me was when Joseph followed the angel's instruction to bundle up his family and leave for Egypt.  How many of us would hesitate leaving everything behind to follow a dream (?).  Yet with his faith tucked under his belt he went ahead, to a place they did not know where,  to live a life they did not know anything about.  He didn't have a computer to google where Egypt was in this world much less what kind of people the Egyptians were.  He didn't have relatives or friends who had been there to apprise him of what awaited his family there.    NOTHING!  And yet he followed on the strength of his faith on God.

     Lord,  you know that we are in the process of migrating.  The angel did not appear to us in a dream pointing  us where to go.  It appeared in the form of a job scarcity that led my husband to seek it away from home.  Now You are leading us  to join him there.  Away from our comfort zone.  I have been praying hard for this to come but when the approval came I received it with a mixture of happiness and loneliness.  I am sorry! I must have been sending mixed signals here.  Did Joseph think of all of these things when they traveled to Egypt for his family's safety?  Did he have a lot of emotional baggage to contend with before saying YES to You?  Thinking of what my husband had to endure when he decided to leave home for his family, I would say that Joseph,  like my husband,  just followed with nothing but faith.  And so should it be with me and my children.  Only faith will see us through.  Remind me of what's written in the scriptures:  " Be still and know that I am here."

     Help us Lord as we embark on our new journey.  You did not fail Joseph,  Jesus and Mary when they obeyed your order to go to Egypt.  Please do not fail us also,  I beg of you.

Week 16:  This is what I thought about the "hidden years" of Jesus.  I think He was a very charismatic child and adult.  How could it have been otherwise when Jesus would call to fishermen and say, "Come follow Me."  And they got up and left family, friends, and work and followed Him.  So I see Jesus as charismatic as a child and as a teenager.  He was a person with a welcoming smile and an open "come on let's go do something together" look on His face.  I also picture Jesus as being mature and smart for His age.  He possessed scriptural knowledge far beyond His age.  At 12 years old He was teaching Rabbis in the temple at Jerusalem.  I see Jesus as part of a large, loving family.  I think Jesus would be the leader in any group He was in.  I see Him as a child playing school with family and friends.  Jesus is the teacher or Rabbi, teaching scripture passages to His peers, practicing His preaching style on His family and friends that He will use latter in His life.  I also see Jesus as the one, especially in His teen years that keep all of His friends out of trouble.  When His friends suggest some "naughty" activity, Jesus uses His persuasive personality to gently suggest something better to do.  And being the natural leader of the group, they all follow Him.  In His childhood and teen years, Jesus honed the skills He would need as an adult to lead masses of people to God.  And He set an example for all of us to follow in His footsteps.

-Marie

I thought I would share a prayer I wrote in my journal on 9/24 (about week 16 or so)

Lord,
you have showed me the paths of power and success
and you have also led me down the path of love. 
From my heart I know which path I must choose.
I need to seek your guidance always and let your heart continue to speak to my heart,
in good times and bad and whether I achieve more or less
financial success.  You are awesome Lord.  Your love is amazing and your spirit is within me.
Stay with me Jesus, I want to be your friend, I want be open to your will today. 
I want to help show others what your heart is all about: 
pure love, goodness, mercy and unfailing strength.
I can only try, as I am weak and fall so short of who you want me to be, 
but I do pray for the grace that maybe just sometimes
others will get just a glimpse of you because of me.

Amen
God bless

Week 16: Joseph and Mary fulfilled all the requirements of the Jewish religious law, got Jesus circumcised and presented him to the Lord in the temple.

I wonder what Joseph and Mary might have thought and felt about Jesus? Mary was his mother, but Joseph was not his true father, only his foster father. They knew he was a special human, God’s son. Was this always in the background of their minds when they looked at him? Did they treat him differently from their own children that they had later? Did they feel the same kind of parental love towards him as for an ordinary child? Was there a certain feeling of reverence?

Jesus probably knew instinctively in his spirit and Mary and Joseph probably told him at a very early age that he was God’s son, not Joseph’s. Yet he respected them as his parents and was obedient to them. (Luke 2:51) As the Bible says that Jesus was sinless, he must have been a perfect child and adolescent boy. He had human feelings like all of us, but didn’t sin and never gave into temptation. He must have been such a kind, loving and gentle boy, just pleasant to have around. No sinful thought, word or deed – what characteristics does such a child have? Yet he went through the normal developmental stages.

Already from early childhood Jesus must have been really interested in hearing biblical stories about God and the history of his people. His parents must have taught him all they knew about God. He went regularly to the synagogue and listened to the teaching, probably more than other kids his age. At what stage did he start his “training” as a Rabbi and was invited to speak? Already in the age of twelve the religious leaders noticed extraordinary gifts and knowledge in him.

Twice it is mentioned in Luke 2 (v. 40, 52) that Jesus grew not only in stature, but in wisdom, and that God’s grace was upon him. That’s how every life should be – growing in wisdom under the umbrella of God’s grace!

Joseph must have taught Jesus his carpenter skills. Did they work daily together until Jesus started his public ministry in the age of 30?

I wonder why Jesus didn’t tell his parents that he would stay longer in the temple in Jerusalem after the Feast of the Passover. So they had to wander around for a few days until they found him and worried a lot. Was this not inconsiderate of Jesus? If I was in their place, I would have gotten upset about the fact that he didn’t inform them and caused them so much worry. I suppose if he had told them beforehand they might not have allowed him to stay on his own in the temple, so maybe this was the only way how he could stay there longer and listen to the teaching and conversations of the religious leaders? Or maybe he just assumed they would know as it was so normal for him to go to the temple and they knew who his real father was.

Mary collected various experiences with Jesus in her heart and kept thinking about them (v. 51) – a true introvert.

When I read these passages, I was attracted to the character of Simeon and couldn’t stop thinking about him. The Holy Spirit was on his life, had told him beforehand that he would see Christ before his death and prompted him to go to the temple at the time when Jesus was there. Simeon was really in tune with the Holy Spirit. He had the gift of prophecy and told what Jesus and Mary would experience in the future. I feel attracted to this closeness with God. I also want to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading like Simeon was. Listening to God - a topic that has been on my heart for a long time. I have experienced God’s guidance in daily life situations, but sometimes when I’m busy I feel that I’m emotionally and in my thoughts not really in tune with the Holy Spirit, so can’t always sense his guidance. I want to grow in that area.

Anna must have been a widow for more than fifty years. After her husband died she dedicated her whole life and time to God and just lived in the temple. It sounds a bit boring to fast, pray and worship all the time and not do anything else, but God obviously really met her, ministered to her, changed her and used her prayers. So she was really fulfilled in his presence and didn’t desire anything else. She also knew immediately from God who Jesus was. Nobody needed to tell Anna and Simeon about it, they just knew from God as their spirits were in line with God’s spirit. Anna didn’t just tell everybody about Jesus, but those who were waiting for his birth, who were spiritually ready for this news. This confirms to me that I need to be discerning who I tell about Jesus. There’s no need or use to tell everyone as people might not be open and ready to receive this news, but those who are spiritually open, who are searching and waiting.

Week 17

Week 17a: Continuing payer to Our Lady to place me with her Son.
Led to pray for our divisions and divides She answers by pointing the way.
Pray for those with whom we are divided.
Pride and judging separate.
Independence makes for separation.
The King of Love my Shepherd is;
Whose Goodness faileth never;
I nothing lack if I am His
And He is mine for ever.
Deo gratias
Pat

17a - Startling revelation……recognition that because I am a sinner loved by God, I am in need of ‘new wine in new skins’; casting off the old broken damaged skins by trying to put new wine in them. As I let go of the demands of fervent prayer for the healing of my alcoholic son and all that that entailed for us as aged parents, the cracks these have made, have  let in the Light, the Light of Christ, our Redeemer, sent by God to enlighten our lives.
What is revealed is recollection of the old Adam and Eve, hiding in the garden because they are aware of their nakedness (their sin) of which I am aware of in my own self.
This sin contains pride and deceit in the form of treating the Spiritual Exercises as academic, thus distancing self from the true reality of self ….what is this pretence? Again reality and the Truth that I am a sinner loved by God Himself, through His sending His Son to redeem us together with the Graces of the Holy Spirit……..the wind blows where it wills.
Awareness of this tremendous Gift is grace itself for which I give thanks. Thanksgiving itself is for His mercy in the graciousness of forgiveness of our sinfulness and all  our weaknesses.
  Restoration and encouragement to renewing this retreat allows me to give back praise to the Glory of God our Father. Thanks for the intercessions too of our Blessed Mary, the Holy  Mother of God, extended to us as our mother.

Week 17 - Feast of the Epiphany brings joy. The wise ones interrupt their journey and are confronted with Herod’s wiles.
They, however, continue to follow the star that leads them to the place where our Saviour is born of Mary. It resembles our place of doubt, in the mire of our wilful independence. Visiting now this place, together with the shepherds and animals, adoring the Babe, we are moved to desire a better way, a right way, away from our introspective wilful stance. How to do  this? Our Lady Mary, Mother of God, the Immaculate Conception, revealed in Her appearances to Bernadette at Lourdes, Fatima to the young children and significantly, at Monserrat guiding Ignatius’ choice, shows us a way home out of our selfishness and sinfulness as we beg her in prayer to lead us and place us back to where we truly belong, with Her Son. Temptations fade the race to the finish is begun. Trust in Me He says when I struggle to be quiet and struggle, to learn to be still, before Him and Listen through His Word made flesh, dwelling amongst us now and forever. The wise men choose their way home by a different way thus overcoming the wiles of Herod. Gratitude abounds. Thanks to all who share. Pat

Week 17: There is a spiritual battle being waged over my will. Satan tempts me to feel crushing responsibility for my children, my family, my business, and to hoard resources so that we will be “okay” no matter what life might bring. He distorts my thinking until I believe I have to prove myself to God like I have to prove myself to potential clients. Satan works through fear, feelings of inadequacy, and a sense of personal responsibility to get me to separate myself from God.

Conversely, Jesus gently calls me into a relationship where His love is a given, and the only thing I need to bring is a willing heart and openness. He promises to take care of me and to love my family even more (!) than I do. He promises to make us complete and happy in His love. -Kim in Maryland

Week 17 THIS is the first time I share some thoughts. I am going to be 70 years old and desire to write some reflections on my faith journey.

THAT I may be open
To receive what you give
To receive something genuinely new
To learn something refreshing different

I will hold Jesus hand and walk in the direction that he guided me and not worry about what people say. I would like to continue to hear his voice and have courage to try something different. Please pray for me.

Weeks 17 and 17a:
Graces received these 2 weeks:
EVERYTHING is a gift from God, I have been chosen. Nothing I own or do to gain honour or praise from others is to be compared with the peace of knowing Gods love and mercy in my life. All I want is Gods love; by the bucketload!
Thank you so much for this wonderful retreat and the opportunity to learn about and come closer to my Lord and God.
Jane NZ

Week 17 - I am confused by the juxtaposition of this week because I don’t believe that God gave us each talents so that we might play “small” in life.  Wanting poverty that is.  We are here to improve the world by using our gifts - and for some, that may bring wealth, recognition and fame.  I believe the challenge is to remain humble and not enslaved by the trappings of ego.  The trick is to always remember that we need to be a light and the hands of God.  I am working on myself to be able to put situations in perspective, to resist being ego driven.  I am a leader at work - and it is important to give praise and recognition to others to encourage others development and attainment of goals.  Everyone wants to be happy and have enough - it’s everyone’s job and challenge to help those that need it.

Week 17 is a relief from the madness of this world/society that we live in.  The issue is trust.  Do I trust God enough to desire the very opposite of what the world says to desire?  To the degree that I can do this, I will find peace and freedom from anxiety. - Week 17

Good Morning. It's just after 11am here in a monastery in the south of England, U.K., where I come once a month and set before myself a chapter of your book, Retreat in the Real World, which adds up to my being on this particular retreat for nearly three years. I have to admit that when I get back into my parish, most of it feels as though it 'goes out the window' as I am absorbed into the problems and activities there. But saying that, I have found it a very rewarding experience. The 'Stable meditation' in the review after week 16, I used as a meditation on Christmas night which was really well received by the people. The Retreat has helped to give me a great deal in a healthy and a very positive way. Early on in my ministry I was a great devotee of Fr. John Powell S.J and Fr. Anthony de Mello S.J. They have and still are a great influence in my life. I mention this because I can sometimes sense them in the Retreat.
I have not finished yet, but I did want to say 'thank you'. I have recommended the book to a number of people.
God bless you all in this special ministry.
Father J - Week 17

The choice for today is not to plan, but to surrender. It is difficult. I look for patterns. It is safe for me. I am a bit accident prone, so I look for ways to keep me safe. I also know the beauty of discovery. Of meeting something good that is totally unplanned and undiscovered. I thank God for all the gift moments, the totally unplanned events and people and places that hastened to give me peace, comfort and protection. I also thank God for the handrails. For placing people and things that I could lean on when totally scared. I thank God for encouragements to let go. So I can swim and so I can fly.
 
The poverty, dishonor and humility of this week turned into fullness, hope and encouragement. I had no hand in it. God reached out and healed me. I am grateful. -Week 17

Today we are to review. As I look upon the lessons of the hidden life, I see a family that was threatened by much, by power, by exile, by not fully knowing, but a family that kept to the path and said Yes to the Almighty every time. As I think about poverty, dishonor and humility, I see a family who suffered that through the hidden and revealed years, but kept to God's path, their sense of fulfilling the Living Word in this life, as they moved towards Everlasting Life always their destination and their goal. -Week 17

Week 17:
I have read many of the shared responses from week 17.  How relieved and affirmed I am to find I am not the only one who struggled mightily with the theme of this week.  For me it's not so much riches and stuff that attracts me but CONTROL.  I had been traveling along aware that I like to have control in my life, and then I come to this week and I can really see how much I cling to control and want it and am really afraid to surrender to God.  The voice that whispered in the garden and to Jesus in the desert whispers to me, too.  I find I approach my relationship with Jesus with my "To Do" list in hand, wanting to check off my progress, tally up my failures.  And then I see where that's going, and I have to admit I really don't want to surrender to Jesus.  BUT I DO.  And the struggle goes on!  And I take heart b/c "I am clothed with a robe of salvation" and I "bear on my head the mitre that displays the glory of the eternal name."  Isaiah61:10  Baruch 5:1-2.  "yet will I hope---"  like Thomas Merton.- Judy

Week 17:  Respectfully, I was shocked at the words this week.  Then I decided I did not understand any of the ideas and struggled for an understanding of what was being asked of me this week.  I know that I do not like to be around someone who is prideful and boasts about everything, nor do I like an arrogant person who thinks they are always better than.  They are hard to be around for long.  And for me Independence from God is a form of insanity-it will never work.  With that said,  I disagree with the words that were used as opposites to these words.  I do not understand dishonor, humiliation and contempt.  Again respectfully, I think a good word for the opposite of pride is humility.  Humility is far different than humiliation.  Humility is surrender of pride.  Humiliation suggests shame.  I don't think God wants us to be shamed but humble.  Jesus was meek and humble of heart.  I can accept humble.  Dishonor also bothers me.  Who is being dishonored and why?  I think it makes more sense to be humble, to surrender yourself to God's will, and to follow God's will for your life.  And I picked up that it was not poverty we were being asked to consider but a poverty of spirit.

I have spent years studying and meditating on surrender.  It is not easy to let go and let God work in your life.  But that is what I think is the essence of what is being asked of me this week.  I am being asked to completely surrender myself to God's will.  The desire to do God's will does make me feel closer to God.  And this is what leads to poverty of spirit.  In my experience when you can get to poverty of spirit, that is when God can begin to work with you.  When one is prideful, arrogant, and independent of God, God cannot work with you because you are not open to hear His voice calling you.  Once you surrender to God, are humble, and are willing and open to do God's will, then God can work with and through you.  I have also found that the "stuff"  I accumulate is just "stuff".  When I learned to want what I had, instead of having what I wanted, I became content.  When I became content I was given peace and serenity.  When I felt peace and serenity, I found joy of life-and that is truly a wonderful place to be.  For me the "good stuff" started with openness to God's will for me and the willingness to carry out what I was asked to do.  And on top of it all, I have nothing to fear because God walks with me every step of the way. 

Please pray for me.  This was a tough week to figure out for me.

Week 17a-   The Graces Take us Deeper

           As I review the past two weeks  where my relationship with God has taken me,  I was struck with this message:  " This is good.  This is right.  This is from me.  Trust it."

          For the past month I have been experiencing anxiety.  Nervous.  And then I read that message.  What is good?  my nervousness?  Which is right?  my nervousness?  Is this from You?  Why should I trust it?  If I go to a medical doctor he might all those unnecessary pills to calm me down.  I forget that there is a Doctor among all doctors and He will make me well.  So everytime I get nervous,  I utter the name of Jesus.  And it goes away.  

          Our lawyer has told us that one of my kids cannot come with us to the land of milk and honey.  He has past the required age.  We were downcast.  I cannot leave him.  I don't want to leave him. Can a mother leave her child?    Is this the message?  What is good about leaving my kid?  What is right about it?  Are You allowing this separation?  Should I trust our being away from each other?  I thought everything is as smooth as silk already.  That You ,  my Lord,  are paving the way for our being together as a family again.    

           But if You say that it is good,  it is right,  it is from you therefore I should trust it,  then help me,  help me to see what is good,  what is right.  Help me to see that it's from you and more than anything else,   help me to trust.  Isn't this the spiritual poverty I have been praying for?  The simplicity of just waiting for your answer and the humility of accepting it.  The complete abandonment to God.  This is hard!

Week 17 - Two Ways of Desiring

The reflection for this week talks about desiring which leads to riches,  honor and pride.  More, more,  more.  Who doesn't want to be well provided for till the end of time?  Who runs away from honor?  What's wrong with being proud of who you are?    Everything,  as in everything is wrong with those desires.  If we cling to them as if they're the last straw on earth,  then we are in great danger.  For those are not the desires that God wants us to have.  For us He wants poverty,  dishonor and humility.  A 360 degree turn!  That's tough.  That's hard.  No wonder there are very few real Christians. 

Spiritual poverty is what drove me to go on this online retreat.  I feel there's so much much more to learn about my faith.  I'm still in the prep level if this were a school. Help me.   Increase my faith ,  Lord!   The forces of darkness is always out there but it has no power over the immensity of God's grace!  Protect me Lord!  Protect my family,  Lord!

I am not asking Lord for an overabundance of resources.  Just enough for my family.  Just enough so that in our twilight years we will not be dependent on our kids for our needs.   At my age,  my friends are retiring already.  But not in my case,  I have to plow and plow for our daily sustenance.  Thank you Lord!  because at my age also,  some of my officemates have  gone ahead to eternity but look at me.  Still plowing and plowing.  Enjoying the fruits of the talents you have given me.  If there is still something out there for me from my parents, then I thank you too.  If there's none,  I still thank you.  Not my will but Yours be done.  These are my concerns,  Lord.  The rest is up to you.

Week 17

Certainty beckons,
                  uncertainty disquiets.
Help me to trust You.

-Ellen H

Week 17: This Poverty, and the call to Poverty....are unsettling, to say the least!  I lived for more than a decade in REAL poverty...no transportation, no medical insurance, no job. I could go into detail, and am tempted to, but I'm realizing that would be pride....amazing, to be proud of the "hard times" I've survived!  which makes me tempted to even greater pride about where I've come to: education, more food shelter, etc than any one person needs.
So I thought this week was asking me to pray for a return to that REAL poverty...I panic at the thought! those were not just tough years, but anxious, resentful years....although not without Grace.  So what is this poverty I'm called to pray for?  There's always a danger of dismissing the suffering of the poor by focusing on "spiritual poverty"...  But I begin to hear that this call to poverty is about loosing the "ownership" of what God has given me.  This education, these comforts and securities are not about me...the respect of my colleagues and friends are about them encountering the shadow of God over me....and that respect for what looks like me, could go at any moment. 
This call to poverty is unsettling in several ways.  Jesus, please give me the grace!

Week 17: This is the most powerful week yet drawing me like the magi to the baby Christ and His birthplace for adoration and worship
--Curt

Week 17 has been very hard for me, and I am not sure why. Being 75, with somewhat limited physical abilities, I am looking to an unknown future both physically and financially. Hopefully the weeks ahead will give me answers to this confusion.

I find myself stumbling on the retreat as I enter week 17. I understand what is being asked of me, and I understand my stopping place. For spiritual poverty I do pray and will continue to work. I understand that friendship with Jesus leads in that direction...always. I cannot pray for actual poverty, however. I have been there, and to that insecurity of the next meal, and the humiliation of asking for help. Voluntary, protected poverty is one thing, and I think the church did well in establishing a workable model of voluntary poverty in its orders. But not actual poverty. I don't think that anyone should pray for that.

So, I know where I am stopping on this retreat, at least this time, this year.
But wait, I am not stopping. There is plenty enough for me to work for in terms of spiritual poverty, that I am not actually at that crossroads, if there ever is again such a crossroad in my life. I may not get anywhere close to where other people get...let alone the ignatiuses of this life, but I am continuing....with God and me knowing I cannot pray for what I think is not good for me. Some of us have already lived more risks than what are healthy for us.

Through a difficult set of circumstances, I found the place in me that I call arrogance. That is what I am asked to give up for the Lord.

Week 17: I find this reflection on the two ways of desiring to be challenging.  Ironically, I am listening to an audiobook about “managing your finances”.  I notice that I won’t listen to this walking to Mass.  Why is this?  There is something about money that gets in the way of me putting on my spiritual guise as I enter mass.  Maybe I feel guilty about what I have.  Maybe this is an area in my life where I want to pretend I have control even if the truth is I often do not.   I recognize that I am blessed with gift of ample if not huge wealth.  Often, I have returned to this theme as to whether this is fair and whether I am using it correctly.  I can sometimes pretend that it doesn’t matter.  But that attitude of detachment sometimes hides a more subtle attitude to not pay attention to what I am doing with my money.  So in meditating about the desire for wealth and honors I can see how they add up.  I can also see where I can keep adding to my possessions … sometimes not just with money but also things to do … because these gain me recognition … so I accumulate too many things to do.  But my pride keeps me from cutting back … on tasks and possessions.

So I spend a good part of the time relating to the second desire and to earnestly join Jesus who does not look to acquire more but to give more of himself; who does not desire comfort but accepts where he has to go.  I feel what it is not to be honored … to be ignored at the very least, to be ridiculed and as Jesus was at the very end to be convicted and killed.  What does it feel like to be stripped of everything?  What does it feel like to be just in God’s presence and that’s it?  What does it feel like to not even feel God’s presence but to know that He is present?  I practice this.  I am surprised I do find consolation here but I also recognize I still need to journey with Jesus to understand more.

I resolve that it is also fine and maybe very necessary to bring my financial planning concerns to God … what will it feel like doing that from the point of view of humility.  How difficult it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  How clearly, I see Jesus’ rider that “with God nothing is impossible”.  I just need to put my trust in Him.