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in Omaha, Nebraska, since 1878

[346] Sir 17:1-15 Ps 103:13-14, 15-16, 17-18 Mark 10:13-16.

Weekly Guide for Daily Prayer The Daily Reflections

“Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the Kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.”

What mentality is Jesus advocating regarding the Kingdom of God?  To me, it’s one of humble necessity, one where we are completely dependent on God for everything, one that fills us with joy when we look upon our Father, an innocent one with no malice toward our fellow “children.”

This admonishment has taken on a new meaning for me as I graduate from medical school.  I am scared and hesitant to jump into my practice of medicine.  Yes, I’ve prepared for four years, but to what has God led me?  My temptation is to fight back with worry, anxiety, and a difficulty smiling and looking forward to my life.  Where is this childlike attitude that I am called to embody?  I’m clearly not being completely dependent on him.

Lately I’ve been dwelling on the challenge that awaits me at the beginning of residency on July 1 when patients will address me as “Doctor.”  Without fail, my ruminations turn to focus on my own understanding and how terrified I am of not possessing some requisite knowledge regarding patient care.  That is absolutely not a childlike mentality.  And while I fully understand that I should strive to hand that anxiety over to God and accept his peace, which is beyond all understanding, it’s pretty darn hard (Phil 4:6-7).  How do I stop leaning on my own understanding and start smiling with the delight of trusting God?

A long and much-needed visit with my spiritual director last week helped me clarify how I should be presenting my anxiety to the Lord.  He suggests that I should start with thanksgiving and praise, then move into a sharing of the deepest desires of my heart.  While I still lack much practice in this approach, it may prove appropriate and powerful here.

Heavenly Father, I praise you for the unbelievable way in which you are always there for me.  Thank you for the plans you have laid out before me and for entrusting me with such an exciting and demanding vocation.  Your thoughts are truly above my thoughts and your ways undoubtedly above my ways.  My heart desires to serve you with the talents you have gifted me.  My ultimate need, want, goal in life is to give you reason to embrace me after death with a smile, telling me, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”  You know that I am anxious about this step that you have laid before me.  Please take my anxiety and make it into something beautiful that glorifies you.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for your support of Creighton’s Student Daily Reflections.  Over the 7 years I have participated in this ministry, I have grown immensely, partly due to the incredible feedback that our readers have offered.  On July 1, I begin my internal medicine residency at Creighton and have accepted an invitation to continue writing for Creighton’s Faculty/Staff reflections.  I humbly ask for your prayers during this exhilarating transition in my life.  Again, thank you and God bless you.