But even with my strongest desires, I still face the fact that I am so very human and flawed. Even in the midst of serving you this week, I recognize how the pull to riches, honor, and glory can pull me away from you. You are so grounded in poverty and humility, and yet I continue to find myself turning away from you — turning instinctively toward the honors and glory. That’s not the way to find you. But this time, I don’t turn away from you in shame. With you holding my hand, I look at what happened this week and I see my flaws and I know you see them too. You know me so well and you love me — even with all my imperfections.
Dear Jesus, I want to take a rest from the struggle. Let me sit at your feet and gaze up at you. I hear you and am moved. My heart is on fire as I imagine myself in your service. I know that you chose Peter as the leader of your apostles. He was a man with so much imperfection and so much heart. Please — I ask you, Lord. Lead me the way you led Peter. Befriend me and let me feel your love for me. Let me spend my days with you, learning as you teach and watching as you heal. And when I find myself distracted by the dazzle of riches and honors, let me remember how much you loved Peter and how you love me.
I tremble in gratitude as I say thank you for wanting the same thing.