Dear Jesus,
I feel like I want more. More what? More of you in my life. A deeper connection. I want to spend more time with you — like I do someone I love deeply. I want to learn from you, to imitate the way you live, to listen closely to what you are asking me.
I look back on the last week, and I realize how much I am inspired by you, and how something deep within me is stirred to want to do more with my life for you. You are calling me and I feel it inside and I want to drop everything and go with you.

But even with my strongest desires, I still face the fact that I am so very human and flawed. Even in the midst of serving you this week, I recognize how the pull to riches, honor, and glory can pull me away from you. You are so grounded in poverty and humility, and yet I continue to find myself turning away from you — turning instinctively toward the honors and glory. That’s not the way to find you. But this time, I don’t turn away from you in shame. With you holding my hand, I look at what happened this week and I see my flaws and I know you see them too. You know me so well and you love me — even with all my imperfections.

Dear Jesus, I want to take a rest from the struggle. Let me sit at your feet and gaze up at you. I hear you and am moved. My heart is on fire as I imagine myself in your service. I know that you chose Peter as the leader of your apostles. He was a man with so much imperfection and so much heart. Please — I ask you, Lord. Lead me the way you led Peter. Befriend me and let me feel your love for me. Let me spend my days with you, learning as you teach and watching as you heal. And when I find myself distracted by the dazzle of riches and honors, let me remember how much you loved Peter and how you love me.

Jesus, I want to give my life to you. I want to follow you and be with you always. I want to love you as much as I feel your love.

I tremble in gratitude as I say thank you for wanting the same thing.