But now — now I’m being invited to look at the harmony, or lack of it, in my own life. I was so struck by the words in the guidepost: “Can I be honest and gentle with the uncovering of what plays such a loud part in my personal orchestra — that there is disorder in my life’s symphony?” Something in me is stirred by that, Lord. There are parts of me that are too loud in the symphony of my life. I hear the horns too loudly as I worry about failing or about being seen as a failure. Drums are banging as I am too attached to the admiration of others, and it feels shallow because all I want is to somehow give my life to you.
Please, Lord, I beg you. Give me the grace to see how to balance my life. How can I have the kind of calm and peace that the woman in the photo this week has? She is sitting in a poor clinic and laughing in the midst of the tragedy around her. The peace she has doesn’t have anything to do with money, pride, or how other people see her. She has given her life to you. Help me find that kind of peace in my own life.
But then I get afraid. What are you asking of me, Lord? How much do I have to give up? Can I do this? I am so torn between wanting my life to be in balance and in harmony with you and not wanting to give up anything that I now have. I’m just afraid. In my fear I turn to you and open my arms, asking for the help I need.
Please, God, help me live my life in a way that draws me closer to you. Help me give up anything that doesn’t do that. Thank you so much for your love and your care for me. Thank you for creating me and desiring me to be in harmony with you.
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