Week 8
Week 8: This is the first time that I share. I thank God that I have reached this far. I am one of those who hardly goes through things for a long time. I give up easily and at one time I had thought of dropping this retreat. Yes, it has been a challenge in may ways. One incident that I want to share is: This week as I was reflecting on healing mercy of God I had a lot pain in my heart. It felt as if I had multiple fractures in the hear but as I continued to pray I got up one day and felt a lot of peace and I could also forgive those who had caused me pain. Thank you for starting this ministry. -- Mary
Week 8 almost defeated me because I couldn't change my patterns and what was the point of continuing in that case. I am at times overwhelmed with confusion and unsure what I see, what I have asked for, what I have received. I feel so blind and discouraged. I battled with myself about starting week 9, thinking that I might as well step down here and "go home". But despite those turmoiled emotions, I opened week 9 a day later than usual and reading the pages slowly, I suddenly feel encouraged to go on - I don't feel alone anymore. I lack the strength to believe that I am not alone, that I am loved and cared for. I have difficulty to believe, to trust - but at times, I do catch rays of warmth and love - and think that God must be having a tough time getting through to me. --Hazel in Germany
Week
8: It really wasn't an easy week. The photo brought painful
memories about how it hurt that I could never embrace my baby son like
that. It was only after he died that I could take him in my arms. He
spent every day of his short life in a hospital bed, and it was terrible
to see him suffer without me being able to help, or comfort him or letting
him know how much I love him. And then I thought how I must be letting
God down when I'm resisting his love and when I'm pulling away from
his embrace. I think that just as I felt for my baby, God also wants
to be with me when I suffer, He also wants to help me when I struggle,
He also wants me to know how much he loves me, and would also want to
embrace me already in my life lots of tears, but also a comforting sense
of being loved beyond belief, thank you for it.
Week
8: I know this week was supposed to be joyful, but looking
at the picture of the mother and daughter was difficult for me because
I don't have that joyful, loving relationship with my mom, I would love
too, and I am working on it so I put myself in my grandson's embrace,
and people who do love me and I was finally able to feel God holding
me and forgiviing me. I was reflecting on my experience with breast
cancer and remembering that he was with me throughout and I can finally
say I'm starting to feel peaceful, I may have to extend this week another
week. This retreat is helping me to become me.
-- Patti
Week
8: I am finishing the eighth week of retreat. The picture of
this week moves me powerfully. Each time I turn on my computer (a few
times daily) I am peaceful in God's loving embrace. I want so to remain
there, Lord. I need you to change my heart. My heart is full of selfishness
and self centeredness. The resulting sins have separated me time and
again, year after year, from your abiding love. Lord, I need a new heart
to love you each day in prayer and to meet you again and again in other
people.
In week 8 as I thought of Jesus love for me I felt his
loving words of fear not to the disciples take on a new meaning for
me. Every moment took on a new meaning with his love.
Week
8: I felt I had a roller-coaster week I find reflecting on
"God's loving embrace" deeply moving and empowering. I sit
back in confidence and trust in God's love. But ironically, at the other
end I felt tired and dispirited. Part of this was the effect of jet-lag
... having just returned from an international trip. Part was also being
fully involved in a project at work. I started getting upset at smallish
obstacles (and there were many!). Then I started thinking ... do I really
need this job? Do I really want to live here? Would anyone notice if
I wasn't here ... would I care? But then I realise that this is "selfish"
talk ... I came here to this place discerning God's call ... changing
some things in my life (including moving) to respond to his love ...
this doesn't mean that everything has to be perfect and go my way. Rather
it should be going God's way. I really need to rest in that loving embrace.
That's the way I will learn His direction.
I've
just completed week 8 and read several of the shared
thoughts. The desire to share comes from the Holy Spirit. I believe
that sharing the blessings of this retreat as many have done, brings
out many similar thoughts. I've reflected on much rebellious sinfulness.
Now, to reflect on God's loving forgivness; His embrace reminds me of
my value within His creation and encourages me to participate fully
in His kingdom, not to be held back by past failures but to go forward
to serve as one who has something of value to share. I sure appreciate
the prayers of my fellow retreatants and I will be praying with all
of you as we journey on.
Week
8 has been very moving for me. I was mugged at the start of
week 7. I am recovering well physically, but the emotional recovery
is taking longer. I have been craving the consolation of human touch
and wishing my mother (who lives abroad) were here to hug me. So the
image of God embracing us like a mother has been very powerful for me,
and very
timely.
Week
8: In a way, parts of the feelings I have experienced on this
journey so far have similarities to what I have experienced in grief.
Being overwhelmed, feeling hopelessly lost, over stimulated, and struggling
with the fear these feelings cause in the beginning. Truthfully it has
been a bit of a rollercoaster but this week has been a blessing. Gradually
coming into the warmth of Gods enlightenment, being grateful for what
He has blessed me with. Being able to shed some of the overwhelming
negative feelings, by dieing to ones old self, allows me to see that
in spite of everything God truly loves me and wants me to be open to
that fact. When struggling
with the accidental death of one of my sons, the death of my husband
who was terminally ill, and the death of my father all in 2004, there
was a nun who described to me the path grief can take in ones life.
She described it as a spiral (like an upside down Christmas tree).
As one travels up the spiral at certain points we struggle thru to
what we believe is some resolution on an issue and come out the other
side to move up some more only to discover as we loop around again
we haven't fully addressed whatever that issue was but since we have
already done some of the work before, this time it isn't as bad and
we come to a deeper understanding and out the other side again to
keep traveling up. This is all in the context of our being open to
recognizing what God is revealing to us, so as we travel up we are
able to recognize more of what has been revealed. So I'm feeling
as if I've come out the other side of dieing to my sin ("recognizing
that my deepest sin was that I failed to turn to God in my need; I didn't
rely on or even listen to what grace might have been offered me there")
after week 7. When I connected the dots the pattern always returned
to this being what lead to my void which I tried to fill any number
or ways. I suspicion that the grief I've experienced over the past few
weeks and the joy I'm experiencing now are on that wonderful spiral
of life. My prayer is that I keep dieing to self and opening to experience
God's graces ever more fully. I feel so profoundly blessed to be able
to experience God thru the guidance of this retreat, the insight I've
gained so far has been priceless. I realize that as in Frosts poem I
have "miles to go before I sleep" but I'm so savoring being
cradled in His loving embrace no matter what...
--S usie
Week
8: I am on week eight my two friends have stopped doing the
retreat at week two. You are now my cummunity. Some patterns have presented
themselves(7). I can believe they have presented themselves this week
because God's timing is perfect. I'm understanding it's HIS retreat
not mine and it's HIS grace that has brought me to this 8th week
Week
8: As I begin this 8th week I am pleased with the focus. The
last couple of weeks have been fruitful yet difficult with the focus
on sin. I say fruitful because I know why I had to focus on my sin and
patterns of sin but it was not pleasant. I will enjoy this week focusing
on God's love and mercy because I have a son who I love so dearly and
unconditionally who is lost. He has left his faith and it saddens me.
I have always gotten strength from my faith. He gets very upset when
the subject comes up so I thred lightly. This week thinking of how much
God loves me and my son will be a comfort
Week
8: Usually, I read the week ahead on Sunday. But this evening
for some reason, I decided to do it then. And I found out it was Forgiving
Mercy. I looked at the photograph and read a bit. But first I made it
in a printer-friendly version and arranged it my way. And I went back
to it, wondering about Forgiving Mercy.
What will I be forgiven, I wondered. And suddenly I realized what it
would be. What it was. Something I had never been able to forgive myself,
something I have carried within my heart for so long. I understood then
that I was indeed forgiven. It felt incredible. I feel so grateful.
It is truly like a miracle.
Not long ago I meditated on the crippled woman. I wondered what it was
that kept me bent. I did not know. It could have been quite a few things
really. I realized then that Christ likes everyone to be able to stand
up.
I do think the world is going to look differently now. First I feel
so grateful. Then I wonder what else will come along. What new developments
will take place. But first I will take this coming week, as it is recommended,
to enjoy what has happened and to taste it. Maybe I will try to write
a psalm of praise and of thanks...
Anyway, just to share with you that something indeed quite extraordinary
has happened to me this evening.
Thank you, Blessings,
--Claire
Week
8: The two scripture passages: the Samaritan woman, and the
woman taken in adultery, spoke deeply to me in a new way this time.
This time I was aware for the first time that in both of these passages,
Jesus was “doing no-thing” (i.e. in one he is resting, and
in the other he is doodling). Also, in both cases the “miracle”
happens when he is alone with each woman, with no crowd around. Entering
my 60th year, I am alone, one in being – no-doing – with
Christ.
--Anita
Week
8 Wow it is so cool how each week builds on the last week.
Every time that I am able to spend quality time working on this study
it shows in the way I feel connected with the Father through the Son.
It reminds me of when Jesus would go off an pray all alone with His
Father. Those times of prayer must have meant so much to Him. I am sure
he was not worried about saying the right things or if He was praying
long enough or even if he told God His long laundry list of things as
we do. It has helped very much this week to know that God's mercy for
me is never ending. I still do not fully understand it but with His
help I am able to get a glimpse. I am learning that all the experiences
I go through all fit perfectly together to mold and make into His image.
Even all of the horrific things in my past, when at the time I felt
as if I was all alone on this planet, He was right next to me. Making
sure that I would not endure any more than my spirit could handle. He
will always be my Father who takes care of me. I pray that I might hold
up my end by staying and being fully committed to Him.
--Mikey C
Week
8: Just like several others have mentioned, I had some trouble
with this week.
But I had some help as well. I have been trying to keep in mind the
reading from week 6 that urges us not to reject the arms of the Cross.
That helps me get to a place where I can accept that God forgives me.
And when I read the sharings and people mention that they are praying
for each of us making this retreat, that helps too. One person wrote
that she thought she could hear us listening to her. That was a moment
of grace for me, and it moved me quite a bit. Though we may be doing
these exercises in different places and even in different years, somehow
we are listening to each other. That's evidence of God's love and His
presence in our daily lives, yes? I have peace about this week, and
even some quiet happiness. But I'm not really at the point of delight
or celebration yet Still, something is changing in me. This morning
I was reading a commentary about the miracle of Jesus healing a blind
man. The commentary involved the allegorical view of this story, how
Jesus changes our vision too. At the end, the author asked, "Can
we see the world the way God does?" My usuall response would be
about how sad God must be when He sees all the violence occuring in
our world right now, from Sri Lanka to the Middle East and Africa. (Not
an optimist by nature, I admit it.) But this morning my answer to that
question was so different that I was taken aback. The first and only
word that came to me was love. God sees the world through eyes of love.
Amazing.
--Kait
Week
8: This was a difficult week for me because although the picture
and theme of the reflection on being forgiven was strong at the back
of my mind was a disappointment I faced with my work life. Finally I
wrote this reflection: Dear
Lord What's harder for me … giving up fascination with my pattern
of sin or really seeing you as forgiving me? Both are hard. I met you
in the Sacrament of Reconciliation this week because I needed to convince
myself of your forgiving presence. This is a hard step. I am much better
at setting self-improvement goals … to promise you that I will
give up the patterns of my sin … I know that this is in fact really
more than a goal setting exercise. In itself this requires your grace.
But what I find most difficult is seeing you as pleased at my attempts
at "holiness" … attempts I often see as feeble. This
is a side of You, Lord, which I do not keep pictured in my head. It
is not that my picture is of a judging or judgmental God. No my picture
is more of a disappointed God who requires over and over again to forgive.
But you look into me more deeply. I come to see that feeling your love
for me is not self-absorption. Feeling your love for me I receive as
a new grace. Thank you, Lord.
Hi
friends in the LORD out there.
It hasn't been easy for me during this week. The difficulity of most
of it came from imagining Jesus embracing me as a sinner. It is so difficult
and takes time for me to forgive some1, il rather revenge than forgive
thats why it wasn't easy.
As i looked closely at the picture of the mother embracing her daughter,
i came to my senses. I started to imagine myslf having done something
to some1 else and him forgiving me, the relieve that i will feel and
the happiness that bottles inside of me. The other thing that kept me
going was the imagination of a small baby seeking ecouragement from
her parent, maybe when he is learning how to walk. If the mother loves
her child so much so as to give her that smile of encouragemet, how
can it not be possible with GOD, who loves us more than even a mother.
I started to surrender myself to Jesus, resting in his arms and i felt
so happy being there as i am, as a loved sinner. Week
8
Week
8 - What does it feel like to be in God’s embrace? A sense
of peace and joy. I have not been this light-hearted for a while. Even
at work. Little joys are creeping into my life in my interactions with
my colleagues. I am actually having fun, even within the stresses of
a 10 hour work day. This is because I have learned to trust God’s
embrace over these past few weeks. I am trying to bring a conscious
sense of trust into my marriage, too. My marriage has been the place
where I have sinned and hurt the most, but it is also the place where
I am finding God’s presence and mystery. I feel that trust is
the ground from which faith and love spring. I read Jesus words about
the Father in Matthew 6: 24-34 and learned to relax more and not to
worry so much. Not even about myself and spiritual growth. It will come.
I want to be a lily in the field. For everything there is a season,
and now this week, we are into a season of joy and peace. Yet,
I found it difficult to leave this week until I was certain I could
really taste His forgiveness. I lingered. The retreat for me is not
anymore about “weeks” but about discovering the season
of my heart that lies within each step on the 34 step journey. I feel as tiny
as a small speck of sand on the beach. God, my Father (and my Mother),
is my morning sun, knowing me, my heart, and my sinful patterns. And
yet she washes over me -over all of us - as the ocean washes over
the sand. He has restored me and filled the void in my fragile, cracked
self. By letting go, I am finding the peace and joy that have been
locked inside me for so long. I am beginning to shine like a tiny
star in the midnight sky.
I’ve
tried to envision being embraced by God, but the image just isn’t
working for me. I can’t picture God making a big fuss over me.
I admit that I have my moments of sinfulness like everybody else,
but I’ve never felt that I was away from God. I know that He
is my father and that He loves me for who He made me to be, faults
and all. Am I alone in feeling this way? I see myself
in the story of the Prodigal Son as a younger sibling, a toddler holding
daddy’s hand. I join him in being sad when my brother leaves
and my other brother refuses to come in to the celebration. I am happy
with him when my brother returns. I let go of his hand some times,
but he is always there offering it back. I don’t get a big embrace
or a fatted calf killed in my honor, but I’m content holding
daddy’s hand. But that’s
the problem, you see. I’m standing right here in His presence,
but I let doubts creep in. Maybe I sound arrogant. Maybe I’m
not digging deep enough to root out hidden faults. Maybe I’m
just fooling myself. Help me Lord, in my unbelief and don’t
let go of my hand. I don’t want to dwell on me and my sinfulness.
I want to focus on you, to dwell with you in praise, reverence and
service. (Week 8)
This is the 8th week, and my first sharing. The retreat is a blessing and
an answer to prayer. I had prayed for an extention of lent, because
I felt sorry to have gone through so much just to have it stop. On Holy
Saturday, I found this retreat 'accidentally'. Much of the retreat is
passive. I am not delving into areas, but I still find conversation
with God in the background. (That is a wonderful concept - the background.)
This week I am to feel the embrace of God. It is not happenning - at
least not like in the picture. I had no problem with allowing sins to
surface, even though that is also uncomfortable, but to allow another
to embrace me - I don't know how to do that. I can not remember ever
being embraced as a child. Later on, embraces were things normal people
do. So God has to really talk to me here if he wants me to understand.
What am I hearing?
1. 'Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us'. Can
that also mean that we will know his embrace as we embrace others?
2. Beautiful birds, and the trees. Can His creation be His embrace?
Why else would He have gone to so much trouble?
I would really like it if someone would touch my heart - move me to
tears. The only person I would really trust that to is God.
its
nell from tweed again. thankful for you all this week. i thought last
week that none of the dots had connected for me and i was very distressed
and lonely. but this week i was well able to come into the embrace and
rest my weary head. I found myself doing things i dont normally allow
myself to do. i have a very limited pension and mostly have second hand
and opshop clothes but i bought some shoes and a pair of jeans new.
and the voice tried to tell me i would regret it and had the wrong size
and all the other torments i normally go through. but i found i could
come as a beloved into the embrace and i was ok.
i seem able to quickly run through the image of being created and formed
by god for god and then being given all that is in my world for me to
use. and in week 8 i have been again able to come past
the sorrow and the failures into some real happiness and peace.
i found a drawing of a mother seal with her baby embraced in her flippers
and what i liked was the look on the babys face - which had a combination
of relief and cheekiness and a sure confidence that it was back wehre
it belonged and everything was
ok even though it had taken off some place foolish . i knew how it felt
one good thing is that the further i go in this retreat the less i seem
to have to say. thank you for the retreat and for all the sharing by
the unseen fellow travellers. my daughter comes to visit me from sydney
this week and im sure gods hand is at work in this one . god bless .
-- Nell from Tweed
After struggling
with sin for two weeks it's a relief to look at forgiveness. I pray
for guidance on how to best the make use of this little reprieve.
Even though this week is about God's mercy and forgiveness I'm still
getting new glimpses of sin. I'll share on of these uncovered sins.
I seem to have this attitude that if I see something I like and want
I'm entitled to have it based on my want and desire alone. Forget about
working for it or deserving it. This attitude has to do with material
things I want. Yet when it comes to forgiveness all of a sudden I'm
concerned about my worthiness. Do I have it backwards?
I think I'm a little giddy from the love of Christ I’m beginning
to feel.
Pray for me I'll pray for thee.
Bob
I am on week
8, where Jesus asked his disciple to go back and cast out there
nets.
I feel like the diciples, I used to be in ministry for about 25 years,
my husband and I were very active in youth ministry and just about every
ministry after becoming coordinator for our religious education programs.
Our church was run by a religious order and about 10 years ago has been
taken over by the diocese. After working for 3 years under a different
order has been a struggle. From much affirmation down to being put down
and not trusted to do our ministry, has left us wondering about our
faith and our ministry. But after reading and relecting on this weeks
reading has left me to realize that everything happens for a reason,
and there are times when we have to move back to see where our Lord
wants to take us on the next journey, I must pick up my nets and trust
that the Lord take care of everything if only I give it to him and allow
him to fill our nets with those that he want us to touch, to come back
and feed his children.
I must not allow others sins and my own to keep me from doing my ministry.
I pray the Lord will give us the opportunity to continue and to come
back even strong for I know that when I am weak he is strong within
me.
This past week has
been about love. It has been great. I was able to surrender into the
love. I was surprised at first how easy it was for me. And then, as
the week went on, I knowingly relaxed right into it. I would remember
to smile, and I would feel a lightness in my chest. And feeling gratitide
has become an almost daily excersise. My life is a gift. How I live
my life is a gift to God.
This week’s
reflections bring to mind three friends. One was my confessor
for many years. His eyes, his voice, were beautiful. When I went to
him with my sins, his frequent advice was, “Don’t be so
hard on yourself.” He never acted holier-than-thou, but met
me where I was and gave me good advice and lifted me up. The last
time I saw him, before he died, he embraced me and said, “My
friend.”Another was a
priest I met during a difficult time. I was in a foreign country and
so was he. I was in an old cathedral at twilight, simply as a tourist,
when suddenly he was singing Vespers. I wept all the while he sang
and, afterwards, when I approached him to thank him, I dissolved into
tears again and he took me into his arms. When I bumped into him on
the street the next day, he recognized me as if I were his best friend
in the whole world, opening his arms and crying out with a great smile,
“My friend!”Last, and most
frequently, I remembered a friend with whom many years ago I had fallen
into serious sin. We had parted bitterly, even with hatred. After
some time, I started to pray for this person. Then one day this friend
appeared at my door and said “I’m sorry” and we
embraced for a long time. What courage it must have taken to come
to my door! How I cherish the memory of that embrace! I am grateful
for these friends and how they showed me the face of God’s forgiving
mercy.
Week 8Tom, Pennsylvania
Focusing on the
picture of the embrace and relating to this week’s theme I found
immensely satisfying … comforted … touched. I like to intellectualize
things. Embraced this week by God I gave up intellectual games. But
at some point during the week I reread the instructions and introductory
reflections in parallel with the parable of the prodigal son and I focused
a lot on the image of God’s joy at our wanting to be embraced
by his forgiveness. I find this image of God’s delight at finding
us very strong. I think I gave up some time ago the image of the stern,
disciplinary God. But since one of the patterns of the sinful side of
my life is to partition God out of some areas of my life I recognize
that a special grace I receive is His continual efforts to burst through
these partitions. I thank God for this special grace this week. Week
8
I have a hard time
getting excited about forgiveness. There's always the feeling of things
not being quite right. I pray to become happy, contented. I like the idea
of doing something this week to lift my spirits, to give enjoyment
and peace. What I've decided to do is to "drop the rope"
in a longstanding tug of war with an intransigent bully who's caused
me years of anxiety and pain.This retreat
is a great idea! May God bless you.
Week
8 I don't want to move on from this week. I haven't "got
it" yet or as fully as I want. I feel very childish and needy.
I also have a dread of what comes next. like waiting for the other
shoe to drop.
It helps so much to be able to share honestly.
Many wonderful things have happen for me this week. Time spent with
people I love, doing things I love to do. So many nature gifts, I
still feel so unworthy. And I see my lack of graditude. How can God
love this?
Thanks for letting me share. I will move on to week 9 as I am.
I am always
amazed at how profound the human struggle is in experiencing the tension
between God's unconditional loving embrace and humanity's overwhelming
sense of sinfulness. There is no way of reconciling the two... the tension
only reveals the giftedness of God's love. Again and again, I witness
the refusal of individuals, including myself at the deepest level, to
surrender to the love of God and to let go of our conception of how
things work and how God must act. I think this is because of the great
vulnerability that comes with accepting God in the fullness of God's
"gifting." Often I see individuals who already have God knocking
on the doors of their hearts waiting to be welcomed and these individuals
know that they have the deepest longing for this God who knocks, but
they are just too hurt, too scarred, too afraid to open the door and
receive the gift of newness. And as I see this in the people I encounter,
I see it too in my own heart especially when I sometimes feel numb to
the experiences of life.
Loving God
I ask you to keep me open to your freshness, the freshness of life that
you offer.
Just when it was suggested that I would have
trouble with the week, I relaxed. The picture of the mother hugging
her daughter was deeply touching and loving. I have looked at myself
and my sins and patterns of sins so much in my life that I suddenly
realized that I was more than ready to move into this week. Joy. I felt
joy in God's holding me.
I
was caught off-guard with the suddenness of my emotions. I knew suddenly
how hard it was for me sometimes to feel God holding me--a "penance"
I have actually been given--because I so rarely have been able to hold
and forgive. My eight babies all died before they were born, so my life
is more full of the adults of this world. If they hurt someone, they
tend to turn away from them in catholic community, because doing the
wrong thing is against the image they want others to have...instead
of turning toward them and saying they are sorry. This adult fix on
image, especially in catholic community, means that the hurt person
doesn't get to feel the joy of the reconciliation. It may be our deepest
irony as community. I am stunned with how much I missed the chance to
forgive people who want me to just move on, without me having any of
the joy of the mother in this picture. All work, no joy. Not fair. But
this helped me see just where my struggle has been. I wanted to feel
a physical and emotional reconciliation, instead of a long, drawn-out,
overworked, heady-ier and underappreciated one. Perhaps some of the
people involved don't understand my need because their lives have been
so much more full of the physical forgiving with their children in the
intimacy of their families. I won't get the reconciliation that would
feel so good to me, but perhaps now I understand what I need more of
for the future, even if I don't get it. I do understand why the image
was given to me as a penance, and why it is the image I need to keep
handy.
I am in the middle of week 8.
This has been a difficult few weeks for me; I have struggled looking
especially at the patterns of my sins and trying to understand shame
as opposed to guilt. This week has been a great comfort to me because
I am feeling the forgiveness, acceptance, and love of Jesus through
the time I spend in the retreat. I am grateful to Jesus for being with
me all day whether I am conscious of His Presence or not; when I choose
(or am nudged) to call Him to mind, I feel the joy of being embraced
by the embodiment of Love. My prayer is to become more and more present
to Jesus throughout the day without being nudged.
This eighth week has not been
as easy to do as the previous weeks since it was just hard for me to
"feel" the love and forgiveness of the Lord. There is a song titled
"The Silence and the Sorrow" and one part of a line in it is "how a
heart could love without conditions" Without looking at the context
of this line, the line by itself took on new meaning for me in the midst
of a very difficult situation. I would like to share a story
about that situation. Recently, I found myself in a situation
where I was in some hot water because of choices that I had made and
the way that I had interpreted some information. I was meeting
with the person above me but below where the hot water was coming from
(I will call this person John, which is not the individual's name).
I had not done anything recently to provide a good image of myself before
John and in fact had done (or failed to do) some things that easily
could have tarnished my image with him. However, John rather was
very kind to me and helped me, even trying to determine if there was
any way that the blame could be placed with him which might get me out
of the hot water. I tied this line from the song with the actions
and words of John. While I know that he is not perfect, at that
moment his kindness and concern was exactly what I needed. It
is said that we need to be Christ for one another, the hands and feet
of Christ on earth, and I believe that in this situation, John was Christ
for me. In his words he showed me in this particular situation
love without condition. His response to this situation caused
me to feel a sense of inner joy and awe. I likened it to the love
without condition that God must have for me. It has been difficult
for me to transfer this feeling to the love of God but I think that
perhaps God allowed me to experience it in relation to another human
as a gift and as a step to one day feel it in relation to God.
I believe that God was not separate from this situation but right in
the midst of it so in a way it is the unconditional love of God at work
in my life.
The mercy of God is
like the calm sea and the wind in the palms. It is like
the morning light that highlights the mountains covered with tropical
rain clouds. The mercy of God brings peace and is awesomely beautiful.
It is the joy of paradise. It is a world teaming with life. It
is what allows me to thrive because within God’s mercy his love
is the most clear to me.
I secretly have prayed for
joy in my life from the Holy Spirit, and even wrote that request
down a few months back before I started this request. I need to
experience the all embracing love of Jesus in my life and to know
that all will be well. I live with a very critical
spouse, one who holds on to past injuries and has a proverbial
mind like an elephant when it comes to remembering and pointing
out my faults. It is so needed for me to feel that I can
be forgiven and loved unconditionally, because there are so many
conditions that we all seem to put on each other. I pray
to experience the great embrace and complete peace of knowing
that I AM LOVED.
A few images have been coming to me this week, that have touched
me . The first image that I thought about when I saw the mother
, embrace her daughter was that of a picture that I took
of my own father embracing my brother. It was on my Dad's
75th birthday and it was a picture of such emotion and true love.
My Dad was not a demonstrative man , but very deep feeling, to
capture that picture said more than words can say.
The second image that came to me was on the day my grandmother
died, as I was at her bedside. As she took her last gasping
breath, she held her arms out as if in an embrace with someone
, someone who was calling her home. It really made me feel
that it was God embracing her and welcoming her home.
The image of Jesus running to greet me after all my missteps,
failings and sins, did indeed bring a powerful image. I don't
often think about how happy God is to see me , I need to stay
with this image of God being gleefully happy at my coming home.
How powerful! Thank You for bringing that image to me.
A prayer
Give me a thankful heart.
Give me a forgiving spirit.
Give me an openness to Your love through Your creation.
Make me in your likeness and image and may my discomfort and dismay
at
not being like you lead me to greater closeness with you.
Amen
I am sooo grateful
for my parents. They were great human models for unconditional
love, Of course, they were sometimes disappointed in things we did,
but they were always encouraging us to try again. I didn't feel they
were keeping score of the number of times we fell short of expectations.
I didn't feel they were going to mete out punishment in kind for
shortcomings.
I agree again with a previous statement made during this retreat.
We don't get up in the morning with intent to do evil. We try
our best to meet needs as we see them with resources as we see
them and hopefully learn from those around us or from consequences
of our actions about better ways of acting. Scary is that
many people get their "concept" of God from their parents or authority
figures that are far from Loving, Forgiving, Caring Teachers.
Thank you God for my parents. Help me to be a loving, caring,
forgiving person. Let me look to Your Son and the many humans
you have sent to show what that loving person looks like in real
life. Keep me seeking You each day every day in the world you
have given me for a purpose. Help me to see that purpose and work
to fulfill it.
Miracle do happen in Faith filled lives, B.C and A.D.
I am in the midst of week
8. Thank you for this resource. "Forgive me my trespasses as I
forgive those who trespass against me." I live in a block of appartments
for which I very reluctantly am forced by circumstances to take
the responsibility of administering. I receive nothing but backbiting
and criticism for my efforts, in particular over the years from an
elderly lady who is nice to my face and actively runs me down
to others behind my back. I have found this very difficult to
deal with, but with God's help, I remain outwardly courteous and
friendly to everyone despite their lack of reciprocation. It constantly
pops into my mind and is very hurful and painful. I dream of paybacks,
but fortunately with God's help they remain as dreams. I have
sinned extensively and constantly throughout my life at a very
serious level and I am realising that despite this God loves me
as I am. Others couldn't "If You O Lord laid bare my guilt, I
couldn't endure it". When I reflect upon my sinfullness and compare
it with the above problems I am experiencing, I am reminded of
"Focussing on the speck in my brothers eye with never a thought for
the plank in my own". Lord I thank You for Your forgiveness. Help me
to forgive and keep me free from sin so that my I might live in
praise of You.
Half way through Week 8, and ‘coincidentally’ approaching
Passion Sunday. What a combination! Today’s (Friday’s) readings
fit the theme of the week so well. Jeremiah calls on the Lord
to rescue him from the hands of his oppressors, and the Psalmist
thanks Him for protecting him from harm. Then, in the Gospel,
Christ Himself escapes the wrath of his enemies. This has been
a hard week for me because I struggle so to forgive myself my
repeated transgressions and wonder how long the Lord can put up
with me. Then I hear the daily readings, and begin to understand
how longsuffering God is. Thanks be to Him for His mercy. Give
me the grace of perseverance.
I am beginning the 8th week of this retreat. I took time
to read the sharing of others for this week. I am experiencing
so many of the same thoughts and feelings. I have many health
problems that would cause concern in anyone, but I only feel peace.
I know it has to be this retreat that is part of that peace. I
always think that I'm not getting as much as I should, or maybe
I should say not giving as much as I should to the retreat. But
always when I get to the next week I see that I have experienced
what was the purpose of the exercise. Thank you so much for the
opportunity to experience the spiritual exercises at home. Like
so many others, I too want to remember in prayer the others taking this
retreat, and all of you who give so much for us.
I feel so loved by God and others as I meditate on the picture
of Mom & daughter embraced in great love. God is so loving
and patient with me. I see my life with so much to forgive and
find it very hard but I believe that with God's grace I will be
able to forgive with all my heart just like I am forgiven by God
and others who love me and also by those that don't love
me. As I start my 8th week I begin to feel this great peace.
Thank you LORD for your merciful love for me and others.
Thank you God for loving me as I am, and not as I want
to be.
On Sunday, the first day of week 8 in church, Confessing
to God that I have been a sinner , I was surprise to realize that
I just recited a prayer like a sinner habitually not a true sinner
with the remorse from my heart. In the middle of the week when
I saw the tree that has few leaves because of the cold through
the window, the naked tree is thought to be much like me
in front of God. Strangely Instead of being ashamed , that
made me feel free and humble. that didn't discourage me. And I
thought that when spring comes again, God will give my tree pretty
leaves as He does the tree. But the leaves of my tree is likely
to have shapes and colors that My God wants to give. So God, whose
Mercy and Love have no condition and limit, will lead me to walk
in His ways. God will rejoice at my changed mind like the mother
of the picture.
Week 8 was to be a special week but
I was not "together" as I would have liked to be. I prayed
but I was scattered. It was not easy to let myself be loved
- my head knew it but it was not reaching my heart. The
embrace of the mother was a great help and I tried to feel my
Father/Mother embracing me and whispering that all was well.
It did not come easily but i will continue into this week.
There were times when I could feel the prayers of all of you and
i in turn prayed for you. May we all continue in peace.
The wonderful picture
of my little girl asleep on
Saturday morning fitted into this week's
thoughts beautifully. I still cannot
believe that God could love me
enough to entrust us (my husband
and I) with caring for a child!
The picture of the embrace (8) sums everything up. God has given
so much to me over the years
that gratitude seems insufficient. When
one is so imperfect it is
impossible to conceive of loving
forgiveness that is so perfect and
makes for humility. This retreat
is making me think about so
much and is a wonderful
way of incorporating God into a
very busy life as a phys ician,
wife and above all a mother.
I'm beginning week 8.
I want to experience God's merciful love. I want to smile
and live in the joy of being a forgiven sinner. The last
six weeks or so have been difficult. I've revisited old
pain at a deeper level. It's been very painful. I
know this is where Jesus has led me because He wants to heal me.
He has also given me wonderful reassurances of His love.
But the pain is still there. I've become aware again of
how sensitive I am, how hard I work to be what I'm supposed to
be, to not be what I am. I don't like being highly sensitive
with such needs to belong, to be accepted, to be reassured. I
fight these tendencies because I want to be strong, to not need
reassurance. I want to get a new job, to get away from a
very critical boss, but apparently it's God's will I stay where
I am because I've been passed over for several vacancies.
I trust God. If He wants me here, it's to heal me.
I hope and pray that I can relax into His merciful love and smile
with the joy of knowing I am a forgiven sinner, that He loves
me and made me this way because He loves me like this.
I am beginning week 8. The
remarkable timing of this lesson this week overwhelms me.
As I sat printing out the materials with the photo of the
mother embracing her daughter, I was waiting with anticipation
for my daughter to return from her weekend retreat. Waiting to
embrace her and welcome her home.
As I waited, I read that this was
a week .."to surrender to God's embrace.." I rejoice that
I am finally at a point where I can do that, something I would
have never been able to even a few months ago. This retreat
has helped me with self acceptance and I have been undeservedly
blessed by caring people in my spiritual life who believe in progressive
healing. They have been the arms of Jesus here on earth
who embraced me and encouraged me when I felt worthless.
Later that night I went to see the beautiful
dramatic presentation by the Franciscan mystery players. In the
play, when Jesus embraced the leper, I knew just how the leper
felt! I am so grateful! I have the physical muscle memory
of being hugged, hands being laid on me and being embraced. I
now am able to do the same for others and my heart is so full,
so overflowing with love in the new ministries God has put in
my path. Praise God for his compassion and mercy! I thank
God for everyone involved in this retreat, and for those who believe
in the ministry of healing.
I am in the middle of week
8 of the retreat. I am at a time in my life where it is difficult
for me to truly believe that I am completely forgiven and embraced by
God. The reason for that is because I was recently hurt by a situation
that involved my pastor. I feel betrayed by the church and people
that I have felt close to. It was like a suprise punch in the
stomach. I did not leave the church as some thought that I might.
But I do feel anger and even resentment for what has happened.
Part of me wants to let go of the anger but an even greater part of
me wants to hold on to that anger and nurse my feelings of hate and
anger. How can God truly forgive me when I am not really willing
to turn from my sin of anger. Even in Confession, I must intend
to change my life and turn away from my sin before I can approach God
to forgive me. I do not yet feel that I want to work toward getting
away from these feelings but in a sad way want to nurse them. It is
only such a small part of me that is seeking to reconcile and forgive.
Yet, I suppose that it is that same small part of me that truly knows
that God is embracing me in his loving arms of forgiveness. Please
pray for me.
I'm now in week 8.
Amazing, but I find this week a little harder to concentrate on than
previous weeks. Perhaps being Catholic it was easier for me to
focus on my sins than simply baske in God's love. I am trying
to thank the Lord at every moment this week and make that my center.
I pray for everyone on this retreat ... that the Lord will guide us
and we will be open to receiving His grace.
This is week 8 and
my week to imagine myself in God's loving embrace. It started
out well, I was able to do it. Then I got the phone call that
the doctor was unable to get a heartbeat and my friend's baby was dead
in the womb a few weeks before it was due to be born. In my spirit I
know that God is now embracing this tiny baby. But in my flesh, my heart
is breaking. I have prayed for this baby and his mother for months
now and I love them both. Please God, help this family. Please God,
let me continue to trust you despite the tears I am shedding and the
terrible pain.
The Online Retreat continues
to bring wonderful gifts. As I write this, it is the 3rd anniversary
of the death of my father. The last 2 weeks in the retreat (8) the story from Luke 15 of the prodigal son has been among the readings.
I love this parable because the father shows unconditional love for
his son, and it always reminds me of how my own father would have reacted
in that situation. I
am well aware that I am fortunate to have had a father who loved deeply
and was committed to his family the way my father was. And I
am more aware than ever that my Father in heaven gives an even more
immense love. I am grateful for my father, for this retreat
and chance to share, and for my connection to God that is being strengthened
every day.
I am in my 8th week and am basking in God's love.. I
have always felt somewhat connected to God and the Church but there
was this gap that I could not seem to close. I had been praying for
the grace to close the gap and I was blessed in finding this wonderful
retreat which is bringing me closer to Jesus and filling my life with
more meaning and happiness. It has taken me 73 years and the
journey has gone in many directions but thanks to Jesus, St. Ignatius
and you folks at Creighton things are definitely looking up and I
will continue to pray and work to stay close to Jesus.
I've been thinking that I need to share
something. I am in my 8th week of this retreat. I don't
think I have missed one night in getting on the internet and trying
to find out what God is saying. I make copies of the sections
recomended so that I can pick up the pages at any time during
the day to feel some closeness to God. I am still in an
isolated situation with my dementia husband. I believe some of
the anger I have felt for putting myself in this position has been
healed, silently, but still healed. Some
of the sharing I have viewed by others seems so eloquent and I almost
envy what some of the sharers are experiencing. Some of the daily
Scriptures have given me insight into some of my own sinfulness, but
while we have a Eucharistic Chapel at our church, I am not able to
visit there. Thank
you very much for this retreat program. It came to me at a time when
I know God was ready for me to have more of Him. I enjoyed the Advent
Season immensly. Several times during the season, I should have written
to those who furnish their meditations. The pregnancy of Mary and
Elizabeth became very real to me and I could relate to my own pregnancy
of Advent and the difficulties I encountered along the way.
As I read Tom Shanahan's
words (8) I thought of my own long-standing image of a punishing
God. As a 45-year-old cradle Catholic, I tended to attribute my negative
images of God to my 1960s Catholic upbringing and schooling. With the
help of this retreat, though, I'm becoming very aware that I am responsible
for my sinful patterns (like blaming others for my faults, like rationalizing
my sins rather than confronting them and recognizing them as rebellious
acts against a loving God), and most of all I'm becoming continually
more aware of the daily presence of Jesus, a loving Lord and Friend
who has not, will not abandon me.
Thank you, Lord, for speaking to me this
morning. I have just started week eight. I
paused as I read the part in "Getting Started" suggesting I sit
and immerse myself in that embrace. It wasn't easy.
A song came into my head: "Purify my heart, let it be as gold
and precious silver". Yes, I do aim for purity, for rightness
before God. My purity is white, crystal clear. Cold,
hard. Imagining the embrace, I became aware that God wants
me to be Gold, not White/clear. Soft, warm, loving. How
can I value that embrace without feeling love in return to God,
to my family? That's what God wants me to learn this week.
I've a long way to go, but with God's help...
Then, I read on... Smile? Done!
Recall a song? Done! Don't you love it when God's plans come together?
Blessings, Sue
I am so thankful for this retreat online.
I have always wanted to make this retreat and was only able to do it
once. I am in the 8th week today and when I saw the picture
and read the "Getting Started" I was filled with joy because at
the end of last week I had an image of Jesus holding me just like in
the picture. I do feel I am on a journey and at times I feel alone,
buy my faith is the one constant in my life that keeps me going.
It is good to know so many people are taking the time and doing the
retreat I will ask you all to pray for me as I will pray for you. |