Week 24
The end of week 24 and its Good Friday. Blessed Easter to all. Even when I'm not particularly in tune, or spiritually grounded and/or connected, I innately KNOW that 5-10 minutes spent here is as well as I can spend 5-10 minutes. When the juice is flowing....WELL--Happy Easter,all Peace
My Reflections on Week 24
15.02.2010
Jesus Confronts Religious Leaders
Matthew 21:12-17
Jesus wasn’t afraid of rejection or opposition of people. He had the courage to tell them straight what they did wrong. The money sellers must have been surprised or even angry when he suddenly overturned their tables. I’d be afraid that these sellers would turn against me, but Jesus wasn’t. God’s honor was more important to him.
How did the children know that Jesus was “The Son of David”? They must have heard adults using this term.
Many sick people came to Jesus and he healed them. The chief priests probably felt threatened by the miracles Jesus did and the way the crowd admired and followed him. Jesus sometimes responded to questions using Scripture. In this situation he just left the religious leaders to themselves and walked away.
Matthew 21:33-45
I’m wondering why that landowner sent more servants after the first group of servants had been tortured and killed. Why did he not punish the tenants immediately? He gave them several chances and even risked the life of his son. He obviously hoped that the tenants would respect his son and didn’t anticipate that they would kill him. He seemed to be too well-thinking of them and too gracious towards them. I don’t think I’d have sent more people after a few had been tortured and killed already, but would have punished the tenants and maybe sent them to prison. God gives people not only one, but several chances to change for the better. If they choose not to change they’ll be punished in the end. God has much patience, he rather accepts loss than gives up hope on people.
Jesus was clever that he taught people lessons through parables and didn’t tell them off directly. The Pharisees understood that he was talking about them, but were not willing to change. Contrary to Jesus the Pharisees were afraid of people. They didn’t consider Jesus as a prophet. So from where, according to them, would he have taken the power to perform miracles and heal the sick? They were the ones who were spiritually blind!
Matthew 23:1-39 Be authentic and real!
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites!” Jesus talked here to the crowd and to his disciples about the Pharisees. Were some Pharisees among the crowd? Did he also address these woes to them directly? If yes, I could imagine that it made them furious.
Interesting that Jesus told the people they should follow what the Pharisees told them as they had a position given by God. As they didn’t practice what they preached, there was no need for the people to follow their example and lifestyle. They made laws for others, but didn’t follow them themselves. This reminds me that some non-Christians get put off by the lives of some Christians, even some church leaders in high positions, which is really sad. “If Christians are like that, then I’m not interested in the church. They’re not better than other people.” Sadly some Christians don’t really live out what they preach to others. It’s a big responsibility: we shouldn’t become stumbling blocks for others, but live out God’s message as Jesus did.
It’s sad how the Pharisees were full of hypocrisy and performed in front of people just to be seen. They deliberately sat and stood at honorable places. Did their self-esteem come from being respected by people? How different they were from Jesus who was secure in who he was – God’s beloved Son. In a way I can understand the Pharisees as I also tend to please people and want to be accepted by others. Yet God taught me that it’s important to be secure in who I am, unconditionally loved by God, and to be aware of what God thinks of me rather than what other people think of me.
V. 8-10 reminds me that in some Asian countries teachers are still called by their title rather than by their name. Titles give honor and status. Jesus turned the “laws of honor” upside down. The greatest should be a servant – as he was. Servant leadership – a godly leadership style! The person who humbles himself will be exalted by God.
Jesus spoke harsh words about the Pharisees; he really told them off, saying that they won’t be able to enter heaven and even hinder others to do so. What a great responsibility! Jesus pointed out how ridiculous their tedious man-made laws were. The Pharisees kept the letter of the law and donated a tenth of what they had, but their heart was not in it. Jesus told them that justice, mercy and faithfulness are more important than alms-giving. It’s about moral integrity! Beware of people who are too legalistic, but lack justice, mercy and faithfulness! There’s no point in cleaning the outside when the inside, the heart, is polluted. Jesus mentioned here greed and self-indulgence. Good actions come automatically from a clean heart, so focus on the inside first!
“Like white-washed tombs” – what a comparison and warning! Seemingly clean outside, but dead inside! Jesus wants us to be alive inside! Jesus told them that they were not any better than their ancestors who had murdered the prophets. They were also guilty of murder. Jesus longed to share God’s love with the people in Jerusalem and protect them like a hen protects her chicks, but they were not willing.
John 11:45-57
The Pharisees were afraid they would lose their positions as religious leaders. God used the evil plans they had to fulfill his promise that Jesus would die for the sins of the world. God is sovereign. He doesn’t only use good people, but can also use bad people for his intentions.
Jesus was cautious after he heard about this death threat. He withdrew then from the public and went with his disciples to a private place. He knew that it wasn’t God’s time yet for him to die. People expected Jesus to go on the Passover Feast to the temple in Jerusalem. Jesus knew when it was time for him to hide in a private place and when it was time to step out into the public.
Week 24: Most of my daily background thoughts revolved around Father Pedro Arrupe’s challenge that is with the picture. Becoming aware on some days of my privilege and how that drug allows me to continue injustice. Barely, I entered the scene of Father Pedro’s courage to lead the Jesuits and confront the Church along the way. I could sense the cost to him. I could admit I don’t want that to happen to me. I remembered breakfasts many years ago with a priest that disobeyed his bishop when it came to our relationship with Nicaragua. He accepted the menial tasks - choosing to work with janitors for his sustenance rather than to conform to the injustice that he saw. I remembered visiting a nun in jail as she accepted the consequence of confronting authority in peaceful but disobedient ways. My response to these and others over the years has always been much the same as it is now. “I am happy that you have the courage to act on your beliefs that are probably right. I can’t get involved right now because ….”That is the grace that I accept and relish this week. The grace to recognize that I am so afraid I am frozen. To take another dose of the drug named privilege and accept my excuses. The grace is learning that I am addicted to privilege. I don’t want to even imagine withdrawal. Please pray that this intervention, this retreat, helps me withdraw from stupor caused by the drug named privilege.Joe
Week 24: I have been working on this retreat for something like a year and a half now, and making very slow but, God willing, real progress. I write as someone who has recently converted to Islam (because of marriage), and although I take my new religion seriously, I'm still of course heavily reliant on my original Christian traditions; I'm looking for elements that are complementary rather than exclusive. I began this week by thinking that I have been too cerebral and that the insights I want to have ought to be more emotional – the prophetic stance is not one that sits back and has insights, but one that goes out and moves in the world, and shakes it up. I confess I have not done much of that this week. The essence of religion, as we see in both the Prophet Muhammad and in Jesus, was not institutional. This can't be emphasized enough in my mind; writing from Cairo, where the religious institutions are thoroughly controlled by a corrupt police state, it's important to remember just how anti-institutional the Prophet was, following in the tradition of Christ. Someone made the excellent point that social justice can be like pointing out the speck in another person's eye while you have a board in yours. Coming from a liberal arts education in America, where protests against globalization, the IMF, etc, were a kind of youth culture chic, I've since keenly begun to feel that the emphasis on social justice these days neglects, to a certain extent, internal development. Hypocrisy is not hard to find. What is more vomit inducingly self-serving than Amr Moussa, representative of Egypt's dictatorship, telling an American diplomat a year back that there would be no democracy in the Middle East until Palestine was free? Or Bashar Assad defending the genocide in Darfur, afraid of the UN pursuing what was probably a Syrian backed assassination of a democratic Lebanese leader? One can become very judgmental, it's so easy. So my question for the week is: how to feel the prophetic without being judgmental?
At first blush it seems it should involves internally freeing yourself from what you yourself are enslaved to in order to see clearly what is going on around. But what does that mean? With the first point in mind, we have to ask ourselves how we go about criticizing our society. One thing to bear in mind is the relationship between self-interest and justice. When justice and your own self interest seem to always harmoniously blend, then something is probably very wrong. Justice is somehow independent of all of us. In Paradise Lost, Milton's God sees the sacrifice of Christ as a service to justice, as if universal justice were a law not even God can transgress. To take a mundane but still painful example, again one from Cairo, if a man gropes a girl in the street (which is sadly common), her anger is not independent of the personal insult – but for anyone else present in the street, it should be, and they should do something about it. This sort of thing, we think, simply should not happen generally. It's a degradation of the law itself, aside from the degradation of that individual person. Thus one sure way to avoid hypocrisy is to stand up for someone else's right rather than our own.As for the internal correlative of the prophetic stance, for now the best thing, I think, is to relate this to what Christ says of the publican praying: he simply repents, while the pharisee praises god that he is not like that man. What we praise god for, in the surat al-fatiha, is his mercy in forgiving us our sins. Praise be to God, the Lord of all worlds, the Merciful and the Compassionate --- I had a day of useless, sterile, arid prayer today, because I was asking things for myself. Under the influence of St. Teresa, whom I've been reading, it struck me that I ought to feel more sad for my sins – she would cry every day, it seems like.
God has helped me make use of my mismanaged day, simply by helping me read the news before bed; I felt frustrated with my reading the the Quran, my attempts at prayer, when suddenly I felt tears in my eyes for those whom I'm reading about: for Alia Nusaif, an Iraqi MP risking her life to investigate corruption in a country where the rich are getting richer by selling food rations (that are meant to be given away) to the poor. For Lubna Hussein, who is quitting her UN job and giving up that job's immunity to suffer from a law she sees as unfair, to be whipped for wearing pants. For Aung San Suu Kyi, whom Desmond Tuto wrote so movingly about, who was unable to visit her husband as he died of cancer, who rots in house arrest while at least 2,100 political prisoners are imprisoned in Burma, a country whose leaders order the rape, torture, mutilation and killing of civilians, in a country where over 3,300 ethnic villages have been destroyed – For the 21 Yazidis killed in north Iraq today by fundamentalist Muslims. Praise God, what made me cry was not anger at the oppressors; this is natural even if intellectually we want to quote, “love the sinner, hate the sin.” We feel compassion for those sinned against. This is to feel God's love for the world, to be caught up in His essence – and it is painful – to know him by imitation of his Names, to allow his being to flow through us, that he is ar-rahman ar-rahim, the Merciful and the Compassionate, a formulation that is bound up in his status as Creator in Islam; to allow ourselves to be created, to strive to see ourselves acted upon by compassion within the human action itself. I asked God to make me cry for my personal sins – I felt nothing, but when I think about the world today, I feel tears in my eyes, not for the first or last time, but I know that he has answered by prayers, and humbled me. Little by little, if God wants to, he can show my how to pray properly.
Week 24: Most of my daily background thoughts revolved around Father Pedro Arrupe’s challenge that is with the picture. Becoming aware on some days of my privilege and how that drug allows me to continue injustice. Barely, I entered the scene of Father Pedro’s courage to lead the Jesuits and confront the Church along the way. I could sense the cost to him. I could admit I don’t want that to happen to me. I remembered breakfasts many years ago with a priest that disobeyed his bishop when it came to our relationship with Nicaragua. He accepted the menial tasks - choosing to work with janitors for his sustenance rather than to conform to the injustice that he saw. I remembered visiting a nun in jail as she accepted the consequence of confronting authority in peaceful but disobedient ways. My response to these and others over the years has always been much the same as it is now. “I am happy that you have the courage to act on your beliefs that are probably right. I can’t get involved right now because ….”That is the grace that I accept and relish this week. The grace to recognize that I am so afraid I am frozen. To take another dose of the drug named privilege and accept my excuses. The grace is learning that I am addicted to privilege. I don’t want to even imagine withdrawal. Please pray that this intervention, this retreat, helps me withdraw from stupor caused by the drug named privilege.Joe
Week 24: Lord, I have two different questions as I reflect on your struggle
with the religious authorities this week.
How do you maintain your patience? You heal a man with a withered hand
... You make him whole. And what kind of reaction do you get from the
"religious leaders"? They object to you healing on the Sabbath?
If it were me then I would be tempted to become quite irritated. But
I see you maintain a steely reserve ... You understand the reason you
are here. Your focus is not to "win points" but to show God's
love. We need to reach beyond our self interest to understand that. Then, Lord, I wonder why do you single out the religious people of
your day? You can be quite sharp with them. Why not the super rich
investment banking types? Oh you do not condone wealth gathering for
its own sake ... You address them gently but in parables ... About
the man who stored up riches then suddenly died ... The man who ignored
poor Lazarus ... About all of our tendencies to be choked by the weeds
of everyday life excesses. Why not the Roman army who were stomping
all over your people? But there you even heal a centurion's son seeing
his faith. Why not the tax collectors who are cheating and exploiting
your people? But with Levi you gently call them home and turn him
and his friends.So what is it about the religious authorities? Yes they refuse to
acknowledge who you are and you realise that your real identity as
God's Son is a challenge to them and brings you real responsibility
not to collude with their power games. But I wonder if the real challenge
is because of their complacency. Their faith brings them comfort ...
It then becomes comfortable ... A social vehicle ... A vehicle that
brings power and privilege. This is not to doubt the sincerity of
their belief. It's what they are missing in that belief and what hey
have found there in the comfort that you challenge and they find that
uncomfortable.Lord, please turn me from my complacency that stays silent when there
is clear suffering. I think of today's suffering families in Sudan.
Turn me from colluding with power when I should be speaking out. Most
of all, Lord, keep me close to you and your resolve. Let that image
guide me as I put my life in your hands. Amen
Week 24 - This entire retreat experience including the daily reflections from
Creighton staff and students continues to be such a blessing. Jesus
is free to express the truth and carry out his mission and encourages
us to do the same by focusing on his example and his will. I'm sixty
years old and I'm realizing the necessity to free myself from the adolescent
desire to be accepted and admired by others and after thirty years of
marriage I'm brought to the fact that in dying to self by giving self-sacrificing
love to my wife, I will learn how to love God. Thanks for bringing me
along.
--Roger
Week 24 From the recommended readings two phrases in two different
readings jumped from the page:
#1 “…the kingdom of heaven will be taken away from you and
given to a people that produces the fruits of the kingdom…”
(Matt.21:43) This passage brought to mind another I have always loved:
“ the fruits of the kingdom are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
generosity, fruitfulness, and self-control…” (Gal.5:22).
…somehow in my mind when I both live and encounter these, I am
IN the kingdom of heaven…The other passage: “woe to you
scribes and Pharisees…you lock people out of the kingdom of heaven.
For you do not go in yourselves, and when others are going in you stop
them.” (Matt.23:13)…somehow in my mind one needs to withdraw
within to encounter the indwelling Spirit that cleanses, prunes, and
rejoices – before one can proclaim spiritual truths…which
require transparency – the complete opposite of hypocrisy. Even
if religious leaders fail, the Spirit lives. Thanks be to God!
-- Anita
Week 24: Matthew 21. "Blind and lame people came to Jesus in the temple
and he healed them." We come to be healed and we find the truth
of Christ, the truth that is Christ; we come and we encounter the only
true reality and then we are healed from what has kept us blind or lame;
we are healed in body, mind, and spirit. In Jesus, the Word of God,
we are touched and healed by that truth. We are healed and then we are
sent out to touch and heal through Christ's truth. Ignatius prayed for
courage and yes, we need courage; but first faith and trust in God's
truth.
Week 24 Does Jesus use the same expression with those he heals and brings back
to himself as he does with the religious authorities? That's one of
the questions I contemplate this week. I put myself into the place of
one of the religious authorities. I'm attracted by Jesus. I'm not that
happy about collusion with the Roman authorities. We need another approach.
The Maccabeans might have been partially successful but the price was
terrible. Maybe, Jesus has that way. He seems very prophetic. But he's
much more challenging to us. I see how he gently brings back those who
are furthest away from our group … lepers, blind, mentally ill,
prostitutes, tax collectors and other sinful collaborators. His closest
disciples are largely unschooled. His challenges to us (the people who
are trying to follow our God in the way our ancestors taught us) are
direct … urgent but not irate, penetrating but not enraged, demanding
but not seething.
The challenge is directly on my behavior … my contribution. I
have been meditating during Lent on violence or maybe more appropriately
how to give up violence. This starts with me … how I approach
situations … what I condone. I find it much easier to discuss
the systemic issues or pragmatic approaches … the "real politic"
of a situation. It's a lot more difficult to confront my own attitudes
… where I get angry or where I cause cultural separation. Today's
gospel reading about the fig tree is very important. I definitely need
Jesus' husbandry to fertilize my soul … to enable me to grow …
to walk and confront where I need to and model Jesus' urgent, penetrating
and demanding expression look.
Part way through week 24 again. At the beginning It was easy for me
to find rants about injustice, especially since we have so much and
there are those who have so little. Then I was put into week 23 again.
Healing. I recieved the sacrament of the sick. Healing was made concrete
by the joy that is remaining. I also was presented with a concept of
offering one's life. It is nothing new, but a communion of the saints,
offering all one's life and sufferings, for the eternal benefit of others,
to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
It contains the sentiments of many years - especially, how can I help
those who are suffering, family and the world in general. It gives meaning
to many past experiences e.g. why were some times so difficult. This
I can offer, like a coupon, to God, and He has the choice as to when
and how to cash it in. I am sure He will teach me along the way how
to purify that offering.
good
morning to you all. from nell on the tweed. what a week ! never a dull
moment following this retreat through is there ? i was anxious when
i saw the theme. i have spent the last few years stepping back from
controversy and conflict and developing a more peaceful relationship
with the world. so i found it unnerving to think again of what might
be asked of me.
for the moment i think i still need to remain quiet and allow the master
to do the confronting because i seem to become either self righteous
or too aggressive. i am begining to understand a gentle path with strength
but i am in kindergarten in these matters.
my love to you all.
-- Nell,
This
retreat continues to be a blessing in my life – I can feel that
God is calling me to surrender, steadfastness, passion and boldness.
The thought of those four together is a scary thing for me, but He has
shown me His faithfulness and love. He calls me to intimacy. Week
24
With
these thoughts in the back of my mind, I struggled as I listened to
a friend preemptively assume that I would not be accepting or her decision
to consider becoming a minister with a Protestant denomination. As she
patiently explained to me, she’s a liberal Catholic and women
aren’t treated well by the Church. She is highly educated and
well-learned in the liturgy. I have felt similar feelings about the
Church, but I do not consider myself a “conservative Catholic.”
Nor was I a “liberal” Catholic. My metanoia experience a
few years ago ensured that I was no longer a member of a faction in
the Church. I had a great deal of sympathy that the Church’s explanation
of what a woman should be seems to be far apart from who they really
are – God’s beloved. Having a friend tell me that she couldn’t
share her feelings or her decision with me on this choice told me a
lot more about her wavering feelings than my own, but I was truly wounded
in my heart that she should judge me that way. I remember offering her
explanations of how “open” I was and how “understanding”
I would strive to be.Later that week, I went out to a happy hour with
a few colleagues who were concerned that I didn’t have, as they
termed it, “a bunk-buddy.” Their concern, they said, was
that I didn’t have a life outside of my job. They saw that I didn’t
hang out at bars to pick up men and that I was single with no kids.
I defended myself by saying I had filled my life up with courses and
activities and the Church. I was so embarrassed! I heard myself complaining
how I couldn’t meet anyone anyway, but all I could think about
was that my will no longer matters! It’s up to God and I didn’t
have the courage to admit it. Just a few weeks ago, I had a priest suggest
to me that I should be a nun. I can honestly say that I have been open
to the idea – but I have no calling or vocation to join a religious
sisterhood. My will is that I want a husband, a family, and a fulfilling
life, but I am waiting for God’s will to show me my path in life.I
had jumped to self-blame and doubt in all of these areas – thinking
that what they said was true: I am judgmental, alone, and without a
life. Jesus is beside me in helping me to realize that I am a single,
chaste (heck, celibate) woman in her early thirties, who would love
a husband and a child, but was not willing to sacrifice who I was, beloved
by God, to obtain them. I am a person filled with joy in the knowledge
that I am trying to follow God’s will rather than my own. I am
free as a child of God. I am not a loser for not having someone to sleep
with, nor will I be one if it turns out that I am still unmarried, not
a nun, and celibate at the age of 50. That is today’s society’s
dictate – not God’s will – of what kind of life I
am to lead.How are single women to be in the church? How am I to be
myself? I realized that I could let others define me or that I could
just simply be myself. Then, it hit me: This past week’s guide
for the Ignatian retreat showed Jesus as one who stood up for what he
believed and, most importantly, for whom he was in Truth. I hadn’t
understood what those reading meant until now. I, too, am a disturber
of the people. I am undefined by society’s (including the practicing
Church) dictates. And this is upsetting to most people. Apparently,
I am supposed to be a nun or somebody’s date. I am supposed to
be a conservative Catholic or a liberal Catholic. Pick a faction; pick
an Order; pick a man. I am inspired by Christ’s outspokenness
about who he truly was and what he truly believed. I pray for the strength
to reply to those who question my lack of a label that I am myself,
beloved by God. I am following God’s will rather than my own or
society’s.
When Jesus rebukes the Scribes
and Pharisees, I imagine him speaking these words to all of us today.
Many of the “holiest” people I know LOVE to make known their
holiness, love to be seen doing good, even to the point when they “sacrifice”
the good of their families “for the good of the parish”,
running every ministry they can, as if compiling a resume for sainthood.
For a long time, I loved being seen, despite what I knew were great
dangers spiritually: that feeling of importance, receiving praise and
gratitude, knowing that my opinion mattered, coming to the conclusion
that the parish couldn’t possibly survive a week without me. Thank
God that someone else wanted these “honors” more than I
did: when I refused pay and title, I was accused of all sorts of things,
made unwelcome in my parish and thrown back into silence and solitude.
Maybe it’s just sour grapes, but I look at a lot of these “holy”
people and it seems to me that they’re just climbing up the back
of the next guy to get themselves closer to heaven. The
people whom God has chosen to toil for him in the public eye need all
our prayers. We need leaders, but oh how tempting it is to be a leader,
even if you are clever enough to call yourself a servant.Tom, Pennsylvania
My relflections this week seemed
to swing wildly. I started the week reflecting on Jesus's love for the
children and how they flocked to him and felt unencumbered to sing praises
to Him. The religious authorities were offended by the noise. On one
level I see myself wanting comfortable worship, rules, the way we have
always done things and not seeing out there that Jesus is really in
our midst and that changes the rules. But on another level I think of
the abuse that has been committed to children. I think from personal
experience of counselling a young man badly abused as a child and how
at very fundemental levels this disabled him. I prayed again for him.
But I also thought through how Jesus would have dealt with this. His
disapproval would have been clear. But I also felt a deeper need to
pray for the abuser and the abused.
Then later in the week I focused on Caiaphas. I can easily relate to
his pragmatism. I see myself as one of the clearest pragmatists. Often
I enjoy the intellectual challenge to being a pragmatist. Pragmatism
is perhaps a more insidious evil than some more common sins. I think
of the Salvadorean martyrs. We have no trouble condemning killing. But
many of us did not take the trouble to take a stand against the conditions
that underlie the killing. The Salvadorean martyrs and Archbishop Romero
before them demonstrated patient challenge to these evils, while we
(myself particularly) debated the merits of security considerations,
aid, capital markets and pragmatic distribution of wealth.
Yesterday I visited with a retired Vincentian priest in his 90's ...
very lively ... full of great stories ... had been thrown out of China
in early 50's. His whole life has been devoted to a simple premise that
"God loves us but particularly God loves the poor ... we return
that love by being there with Him with the poor". Jesus's condemnation
of the Pharisees is as much about their unwillingness to return to God
what He is due. Tieing that visit with this week's relflection, I see
more clearly that my mission must be to give or return to God what he
demands and this means a more intense focus on preference for the poor.
I am in week 24, still
reading and letting the thought that Jesus stood up to oppressors, hypocrites,
and people who used power for selfish motives to be in the background
of my days. Jesus was heroic in his actions, yet some thought him crazy,
or misguided. He challenged motives and tested those who used
power to oppress. He challenged complacency.
How does this effect me in my life? I am awestruck at his strength
and determination to speak the truth, and live the truth. I also
am shaken a bit by his words ; Jesus means business when he reprimands
. Am I living a life that could be held up to the name Christian
in every sense of the word? I pray for the grace to recognize when to
speak up for the truth for myself, and for others who need help.
Am I really doing my best to serve the poor, the imprisoned, the weak?
Am I too complacent ? I hope to rent the movie Romero and the other
suggested movies. I did read about Archbishop Romero and did pray
the Romero prayer last night, part of the prayer is to be light in the
darkness, and to be the hands, and feet of Jesus in the world.
I pray for the grace to be courageous in seeking truth and
justice in the events that happen in my daily life and to support justice
in the world . At times I feel weak and afraid to confront, but I will
continue to ask for the grace to be true to the name Christian.
One of the recurring themes that
really touched me in Week Twenty-four of this Retreat was the
confidence and determination with which the message should be lived
out. Jesus did not back down even when he was criticized and questioned.
He knew His mission and he followed through with it. In much the
same way, Archbishop Romero knew what was right and sought to follow
through with action even when he was threatened and questioned.
I know that at times it is hard to speak out and act for what is right.
To act with such courage and conviction is truly admirable but it is
also nothing less than what we are all called to do. This does
not mean that it is easy but it is something that must not be taken
lightly.
In Week 24, I feel drawn
-- like a magnet -- to wherever God is leading me, and yet, still afraid
of what he is asking of me: am I strong enough? Will I be able
to stay faithful to his call to me? This fear has been overwhelming
enough that I have taken a few weeks off from this retreat. Now,
as Lent is about to begin, I can no longer put off listening and responding
to his call to me. What he asks is so deep; and yet I trust him
when he promises that he will never leave me. "I can do all things in
him who strengthens me."
Week 24. This week I was
somewhat uninspired by the topic. It may be that the topic is so uncomfortable.
Herein, Jesus is being disagreeable and it results in him being hated.
In polite society, one learns that being disagreeable usually results
in someone hating you. Having been a disagreeable person most of my
life, I have worked extremely hard at being less confrontational. Yet,
I know that at some point one must draw a line in the sand. We do have
a prophetic role like the one seen in Jesus when he confronts the religious
hypocrites. In the modern church, this role includes challenging social
injustice. This makes sense to me because social injustice is wrong,
but it did not seem as important to Jesus as religious hypocrisy. I
do not see the Church spending near as much efforts on blatantly challenging
internal religious hypocrisy among the clergy as it does challenging
external social justice. This seem like the “speck in ones own
eye” issue. For this week, I guess here my reflection is my own
small, cleaning of the temple.
Hard to believe I am already in week 24. Many times I have said to others “Time flies whether
you have fun or not, so you might as well enjoy it!,” yet I continue
often to walk in darkness myself. This morning as I prayed the Rosary
on my way to work, I was completing the “Magnificat” and
got stuck on the words “…The Lord has done great things
for me….” Tears came to my eyes as I realized that the Lord
has indeed done great things for me, and still, so often I find myself
doubting, walking in darkness. Where is my faith? This week we reflect
on Jesus’s courage in confronting the Pharisees and Sadduces in
their hypocrisy and pride. I pray for the wisdom to recognize my own
hypocrisy, my own pride, and for the courage to be bold in my faith,
as Christ was. I have a LONNNNG way to go! Lord, help me.
I am in the 24th week. I have
been struggling with despair and God has been speaking to help me.
Before the retreat I was very active with prayer, good works, and
sacraments and yet it was a dark time for me. I am asking God
why the format of this retreat triggered his resonse to me. I
still feel bitter about the darkness and it is hard to trust.
This is week 24 for me. I have
learned so much through this online retreat, particularly about the
ways that God and Jesus bless and teach me. It is the first week
of Lent right now for me, and I decided to use my time during Lent to
study and read all the links about justice that the Online Ministries
provide. What a blessing to find that week 24 is all about justice.
I am blessed and strengthened in my learning by Christ's example. Please
pray for me that I will find constructive ways to take action and put
my learning about justice into practice.
I discovered the Online Retreat through
an article about St. Ignatius in the Los Angeles Times last year.
At a lecture I had attended last March at Loyola-Marymount University
on St. Ignatius I found seeds planted beyond experiences I had had through
retreats and reading on the Spiritual Exercises, seeds that caused me
to desire to make the Spiritual Exercises; the Online Retreat
provided that opportunity for me. I have come to Week
24 with knowledge that physical healing has come for me through
the Online Retreat, although I did not pray for that. My prayer throughout
the Online Retreat has been and continues to be for growth in love.
During this special time the Spirit has led me through sacred artwork
and various books: Mary by Sholem Asch; Centering Prayer by Basil
Pennington; Laugh Again by Charles Swindoll. My Lenten retreat
will consist of a journalling journey on the Swindoll book. I
treasure many things in my heart because of this retreat and pray for
those who read this.
I am currently finishing up week #24.
I have an overall feeling of being closer to God and Lord Jesus.
I know his spirit is in me. I have found the reading and the daily
reflections so strengthening in my life. It has helped me to gain
a better sense of myself and an acceptance of my life. My life
is not perfect and I am glad that it isn't as there would be no reason
to get up in the morning. Today my prayer is different.
There seems to be more thank you Lord and less crying. When I
ask for something it always includes If it is your will. I belong
to a really great group of women who live in several different area
of the world. We are different ages, but we come together to share
our love for the Lord. We can share our difficulties and get feedback,
love and encouragement from each other. It is a wonderful feeling
of belonging that I feel. I look forward to turning on my computer
each day to get the email from them and to do the readings. I
am a recovering alcoholic and I also battle with bouts of depression.
There have been some weeks where I have sought guidance from my Priest
or therapist. So if you are in the early weeks of this retreat
take heart and keep going, get help when you feel it is overwhelming
it has been so worthwhile for me. God Bless you and thank you for allowing
me this time and space to share how I feel today.
Week 25
Week 25
from fear to Joy,
from contempt to appreciation,
from sloth to Love.
Ellen E. H.
Week 25: This week caused me to be more willing to give me to those that needed me while thinking, ”I am doing this for Jesus.” I suspect that I was more tender, open, and understanding. I was less concerned about the outcome for my sake. Just picturing, at times, giving peace to those with a simple need that I could help.The graces of this week have included awareness that my food could be doing God’s will as Jesus did. He hopes I will tell others so that they can see, hear and believe. That he does want to bring me into the light and wants me to tell others so that they might see, hear and believe. To raise me from the death caused by my self-centeredness so that others can see, hear and believe. I am afraid. I don’t know that I can accept Thomas’ exhortation to “Come on. Let’s go, so we can die with him.” Please pray for me so that I can do as Thomas said.-Joe
Week 25: This has been the most emotional week I've experienced in a long time, well here goes, I hope the graces I'm about to share helps someone. My older brother passed away suddenly on Monday of a heart attack, he was 61, he had 2 children ages 32 and 28. He was pretty depressed these past couple of months because, he was recently divorced, lived alone and according to him he didn't think he had any friends, he felt alone because he lived away from his family, little did he know how many people loved him! I had a dream the other night of a rather large angel trying to get up off his knees, I truly believe that was him, and I told him to get up to stand and know how much he was loved, by God, his family, friends. Don was a big guy with a big heart, so I think he does know, there were so many people celebrating his death with us, family, friends, colleagues..the funeral was beautiful. Don's life was all about getting ahead, succeeding, making as much money as he possibly could, which he did. A couple of years ago he became very ill with congestive heart failure and all that changed...he realized how important his God was, his family..he went to a healing service, and from there became friends with an adorable, elderly priest that was his spiritual director. Don truly beleived he was healed spiritually, and he was! He was a changed man..generous, loving and just wanted to recoup what he thought he lost all those years of trying to achieve..his daughter was trying to get the arrangements together, my brother and I were with her the entire time. I feel so blessed that I was able to be part of his life as well as his death. His priest friend said the mass, and had wonderful things to say about him. I still can't believe what happened to me, my brother was taking care of the visitation and cemetery, and I got this overwhelming feeling to help with the mass, I didn't know what exactly at the time, but with the Holy Spirit, I was able to pick the readings, the songs, the psalm, all depicting the man he became....my brother said, my god, you've have a spiritual conversion, where is my bratty sister : ) Was he ever right...I understand the graces this week, and now I know people can see the change in me, and I hope and pray I can help someone else find their God also. I understand that in suffering we die to our old selves and if we're open to Gods love and healing are sent out into the world to not only live the life we were created for, but to give glory to God in life and death. I love you all, and am praying for you!
Week
25: I found
this a powerful week and I particularly focused on Lazarus. I have always
worried about what happened to Lazarus. Why does he just disappear after
his rising? Why don't we hear more about him? There is only one reference
to him (I think) when Mary breaks open the oils and puts on Jesus' feet.
As I look deeper into the descriptions I wonder what is it about God
that will be glorified here? What should I be seeing? Particularly,
thinking about the healing of the blind man in the other Gospel reading
... What should I be seeing now that I have received my sight and see
Jesus? I was helped by a reflection I read by Father Foley (of St Louis
Jesuits) ... He asks us to pause and reflect on the question that Martha
and Mary and also the crowd ask, "Lord, if only you had been here
... Would he have had to die?" I see myself asking that question
all the time in the face of suffering ... Lord, why were you not there?
But the answer to this must be in the answer to "What is it about
God that will be glorified?" I appreciate that one aspect of God's
glory that appears is God's reaching out to create life ... Even new
life ... And to have whatever is binding us removed is very liberating.
But I pause back on the theme of suffering and I tie together that the
3 sequences we read this week (the Samaritan woman at the well, the
blind man healed and Lazarus) are demonstrations of different ways that
God as Love appears in our lives. Lazarus is the gateway to understanding
Good Friday. God's love is so great that He reaches out to us and is
present even in the midst of suffering and death. He is not a magical
miracle worker although miracles do happen through Him. He is with us
weeping at the real and metaphoric tombs we build for ourselves.
I found this helpful in the uplifting and reflective moments this week
... But I also tried to rest with this image in the most frustrating
and stressful parts ... And there was some as well.
I know that Love is asking me to respond to Him. It may well be that
like Lazarus I have this second chance and like Lazarus it may not
matter whether that ever comes to prominence or is worth recording.
But I promise that I will rest in that Love and like the blind man
promise to follow Jesus.
Today the beginning of my 25th week and 4th week of Lent like the blind man I can finally SEE!! for the
past 23 years I have been mad at my ex-wife for destroying my home and
my 'perfect family' because I had offended the dark goddess (Jungian)
within her today I can see the following-
I wrote you a letter in 1983 trying to apologize for the dissolving
of our marriage, but never mailed it because of your injunction that
I never again call you, write to you, or talk to you. But today I feel
compelled by the Spirit to write you and say - I am so sorry. I admit
that the demise of our marriage was my fault. I know now that I was
a poor husband and an inadequate lover.
The world that I grew up in was like a baby's - one of spoiled entitlement
and all about me. In addition, I was stuck in my intellect with NO capacity
for feeling - to either understand how to feel or operate in the feeling
mode that you extended to me. After all those intervening years of anger
toward you I see the problem within me that you saw and I recognize
now that you had to bare the brunt of putting up with my selfishness,
binge drinking, and totally self-centered behavior, along with raising
our children.
When we married, I had no idea what love for a spouse should or could
be. I only knew that I needed another presence in my life so decided
to marry. And so we met and married and had five sons - then parted,
because I was unable to fulfill my part of the marriage partnership.
Today I now know that real love lies in serving others - most importantly
your spouse - and being able to forgive mistakes. I have asked (pleaded,
begged) our Father in Heaven for forgiveness for my inability to make
our marriage work. Now I sincerely apologize to you for my mistakes
- and hope that one day you will be able to find it in your heart to
forgive me. Please know that I am concerned for your protection and
well being, and pray for you every day.
May God Bless You!
Week 25: The Samaritan Woman:
I watched a DVD this week: Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont. I lost myself
in this movie, and it left me with deep peace. I am at a loss for words…For
24 weeks I have shared each week insights, and this week I have none…just
a profound peace. I found my “self” in the widow in this
movie. Through a small act of kindness, she discovers her “eternal
self” (Christ) and dies. This may sound weird, but here goes:
As I watched this DVD, it was as if both Christ and I were there together,
sitting at the well, and I was drinking of His water, which was “becoming
a spring inside of me, welling up to eternal life.” Profound peace
was given to me, a very capable widow as seen on the outside. Inside,
I know loneliness and I also know that death is on the close horizon
– and all must be let-go of, except His Presence.
-- Anita
I am just finishing up on week 25.
I have receive many graces thru the weeks of this retreat, however,
the past three weeks have been a struggle for me. An extra busy schedule
has cut back on my background thru out the day. Lately, I read and yet
the words don't make it to my heart. I feel stuck but want to continue
on. This week I am flooded with the noon day wells of my life. I do
a lot of avoiding interaction with others. Memories of past rejections
has taught me self protection skills. I do it well. I pray and ask for
Jesus' healing grace to help let go of my self-protection and open my
eyes and heart to see and act as Jesus is calling me. Please pray for
me.
-- Donna
Week 25: This week I spent
more time focusing on the raising of Lazarus. The three "scrutiny"
Gospel stories we are asked to reflect on this week I always find powerful
and empowering because of the promise of fundamental transformation
that is proclaimed. But I looked at the Raising of Lazarus in different
ways. I know that much earlier (maybe 35 years ago plus) I found the
inevitability of death and the promise of resurrection hard to grasp.
I found death hard to handle and better to avoid although that's impossible.
In some ways, I never could resolve the death of my Grandfather when
I was about 13. He was probably the adult I most looked up to when I
was really young and probably the first of close relatives to die. Maybe
it was because I was in the throes of early adolescence I don't know
but I took it badly and I had a hard time dealing with the subject of
death well into my late- 20's.
For years when confronted with death, I was like a lot of the people
in the scene ... asking ... why Jesus couldn't have dealt with this
differently, if only he had been there, yes theoretically espousing
the resurrection of the dead but like Martha not necessarily seeing
it as happening here and now.
But in the scene of Jesus and Lazarus I see that Jesus can grieve to
... this is appropriate ... but Jesus can look right into the tomb.
He confronts Lazarus' death.
"Lord, remove the bindings where I am now ... let me be free to
minister with you ... and to reveal life and truth even in the midst
of misery and despair".
greetings from nell on tweed. what a wonderful
week that was for me. my readings of the gospels are being shaken loose
from some fixed ideas i seem to have had from childhood and just held
ever since. i even wondered whether the samaritan woman were such an
outcast or whether she just did things as and when she pleased. she
certainly seemed to be able to convince a lot of people quickly about
what had happened. sometimes i just want to get away from people which
was a theme of last week for me. and i could see her going to the well
for privacy as well as water and then being struck by the sheer presence
of this man. since then i have been able to take my conversations with
my lord to a low stone wall at a well. sitting and talking and listening
and drinking both forms of cool water.
i also noted that jesus sent the blind man off but later when he knew
the man had stood true to him - then he went looking for him. and found
him. i like to think he was both checking on his wellbeing and also
pleased to have found another believer.
and in the story of mary and her brother and sister. my heart moved
at the wording i read which said "jesus groaned within " .
i could feel the earth moving love and the humanity of him. groaning
within. asking his father for something he would not normally ask for.
that someone be brought back to life - from love.i have a selection
of bibles at home and some are crefully illustrated in black and white
but one is the childrens bible that my kids had when they were little
and its beautiful with coloured pictures and bright robes. this retreat
is restoring to me the colour of the childrens bible. tears and groans.
and loneliness . and an excited saviour. its like actually being in
a place instead of looking at the street directory or the map. my love
to you all.
-- Nell
Jesus is the water for which I thirst. He
is the water in which I need to be cleansed. And so I think, “Yes,
I want to be immersed in Jesus.” But
that is only what I think, not what I do. When I’m thirsty, I
do not drink. And when I am hot and sweaty, I do not leap into the pool.
My desire stops at the inconvenience of interrupting what I am doing
to go only as far as the kitchen for some water. My need is confounded
by my fear of the water’s shocking cool. And when I go for my
drink at last, is it water, or is it something that only appears to
quench, but actually dehydrates, like beer or wine or coffee? And when
I finally get in the pool, isn’t it after all only with the most
agonizing slowness, as if submerging inch by inch were somehow better
than diving in?Yet, knowing this is my nature, I still think, “I
want to be immersed in Jesus.” I am tentative, but the Lord God
is all powerful. Come Lord Jesus!Son of David, have pity on me!
-- Tom, Pennsylvania - Week 25
These are such powerful scenes this week.
I had expected something quite profound in my meditations and I think
I experienced this but in a different way than I had expected. In the
scene with Jesus and the Samaritan woman, I felt much more profoundly
Jesus' love and probing ... so that he really understood this and she
felt this. How often do we go through life with cursory or self serving
interactions with other people? To be known, understood, loved and forgiven
is very powerful.
Then the scene with the blind man I found powerful. I imagined myself
able to see again ... looking at the world anew ... perhaps not understood
by others ... but understood by Jesus. I do not know where this will
lead ... but the formerly blind man did not know this either.
With Lazarus I focused on two images. First, the humanity of Jesus as
he weeps outside of the tomb. This represents a part of Jesus which
I had ignored before. Frankly, I have a hard time dealing with death.
Seeing Jesus there I wished I had brought that image to the surface
in mourning situationsI encountered in the past.
But what binds me today and what is Jesus calling me to unleash? As
part of my Lenten observance I started to pray the "Four Prayers
for Social Justice". Somehow, in my meditation on this part this
week I connected them. When I think of the extensive ways we have constructed
to hold down, imprison and even kill. I see Jesus asking me to come
forward and to see these unleashed. Eliminating poverty ... does that
seem as unrealistic as shouting at a man supposedly dead, "Lazarus,
come out"?
Three familiar stories: the woman at the
well, the man born blind, the death of Lazarus. For 60+ years I have
heard about the woman at the well. At the end of the story, Jesus declines
the food the disciples bring him, saying, “My food is to do what
God wants! He is the one who sent me, and I must finish the work that
he gave me to do.“ Jesus was too busy to eat, busy doing his Father’s
will. I relate to that. I have been there many times. Pricing items
for the school rummage sale tomorrow, too busy to stop and eat. Cleaning
the house before company arrives, too busy to stop and eat. Finishing
the gift for a grandchild’s birthday, too busy to take time to
eat. So engrossed in getting the job done that I was not even hungry.
That’s how I have always related to this verse of scripture, this
verse that was almost a side note, not the main point. But to my surprise
it became my focal point this week.
When I imagined the story of the woman at the well this week, the ending
took an unexpected turn for me. There was Jesus at the well with the
woman, the disciples came, the woman left to tell the other villagers
about Jesus, and the disciples offered him food. He couldn’t eat.
He wasn’t too busy- he was just waiting- waiting for the woman
to return with the villagers. He was too excited to eat! He was so thrilled
that this Samaritan woman had been looking for the Messiah to come and
had taken the first steps of believing in him. The woman didn’t
have all the correct answers theologically and she wasn’t living
up to the moral expectations of the theology she knew. But she saw in
Jesus the promised one and went to spread the good news and was coming
back to learn from him. And Jesus was ecstatic about it. In his divinity
Jesus is the omnipotent creator of the universe and in his humanity
he was too excited to eat because this woman had taken the first steps
of belief. And I saw Jesus too excited to eat over me, delighted that
I am searching to know him better and follow him more closely. Never
mind that I have a long way to go. In the background moments of this
week Jesus keeps popping up, too excited to eat, and joy wells up within
me. I don’t think it matters if my visualization of the woman
at the well is historically accurate. I have been gifted this week with
a joy that has eluded me for some time, and I am so thankful for this
grace.
I have just printed up the gospel readings
for Week 25. They are very beautiful. In the story
of Lazarus I was overwhelmed by the words, "Jesus started crying." I
could see Him standing there. And tears streamed from my eyes. I felt
His love, so gentle and overwhelming. My smallness and unfaithfulness
was so present to me. I cried some more.
As
I read the readings of the 25th week, I felt something new that
didn't realize before. And I came to reflct the readings deeply. my
losses are related to give up my study after finishing a graduate shool.
at that time, I was tired out from many housechores and raising my son.
it was impossible to continue my own work. after my son became a student
of junior high school, I began to resent my stupid decision. But this
week took me to a graceful time to realize that the losses led me to
read God's words and meet Him in everyday life and feel his love more
and more. Now Jesus is shouting to me, " come forth." From what ? from
not liberating me, especially, from all that bind myself up lest I should
make choices to be with Jesus. Actually Jesus is the only man to satisfy
my thirst and to let me - blind before - see the truth.
Week 25: This week's readings and
reflections are very powerful ; there is so much to think about and
reflect on. Jesus is so loving in every gospel story. He
is loving, but he allows each person to come to their own realization
of why he is reaching out to them. He offers the Samaritan woman
water that will quench her thirst eternally, and she doubts his power
or ability to do so. He allows the blind man to think and defend
this believe in him. Jesus allows Martha and Mary their grief
and resentment, and still shows them that He can bring glory out of
this. I have been the Samaritan woman , the blind man, and like Martha
and Mary. I have lacked trust that God would come to my assistance
or save me. I have not faced truths about myself, and am still working
on this. I have grieved and forgotten that Jesus grieves along with
me. Thanks to the many graces received in this retreat and through
the Eucharist, I have begun to realize that He will not allow me to
be lost, forsaken, or unhealed . It will take faith and trust on my
part, but He is there reaching out to me . I pray for the grace to recognize
that He wants to bring glory out of all things. He will make everything
new.
When I pray each week at Sodality , the line from a prayer " God chose
the weak things of the world, that no flesh may glory in his sight"
makes me realize that He will make all well. The expression "God
writes straight with crooked lines" has also run through my mind this
week. A special sign came to me this week , a friend of mine out of
the blue, gave me a beautiful old picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
she has had it for years . She explained about the devotion to
the Sacred Heart particularly in Ireland. I felt that Jesus was showing
me His love through her thoughtfulness, and that the prayer that
I often whisper throughout the day "Jesus meek and humble of heart,
make my heart like unto thine", was being answered. Thank you for this
retreat
The Readings for Week Twenty-five of the retreat are quite familiar to me. Many years ago they were
dramatized at my Parish and that did leave a profound impact on the
importance and message of these passages. In particular, the story
of the Woman at the Well stands out for many reasons. One such
phrase from this passage that has resounded in the depths of my being
is when Jesus says to the woman the the water that He gives will be
like a spring of water welling up unto eternal life. Having experienced
physical thirst and the longing for cool living water and the relief
that it could bring can be analogous to the spiritual thirst that I
have for God. Jesus will provide in me cool living water welling
up and overflowing that will not only satisfy my spiritual thirst but
will provide more that I can ever imagine by leading to eternal life.
How awesome and refreshing and enlivening that is!
We are so quick to judge! We think
of one possibility and because we think of it, we believe it is true.
It may be. It may be there are other good explanations.
The Samaritan woman is well spoken. She has a good mind.
She was attractive to at least five husbands. She is listened
to by the townspeople - including the women. I have known many
prostitutes. The Samaritan woman is not unlike many I've known
and worked with. Why did she go to the well in the heat of the
day? Many, quick to judge, say she wanted to avoid the (respectable)
women of the village. Why can't we say we are not sure?
I say it is probable that the Samaritan woman went to the well in the
heat of the day for water. She went for water because her neighbor,
an old disabled person, needed water. Of course the Samaritans
listened to this woman. She was an open hearted person with a
good mind. She was a loving person. Love is an intellectual
process. Jesus told us we will know it by the actions of people.
Paul told us what to look for. The Samaritan woman loved.
Jesus chooses to save people who are hot or cold. He doesn't talk
with the indifferent, the "luke warm." The doers, the ones who
go for water for others even in the heat, Jesus speaks to. Please
God we shall one day learn to stop condemning, judging without the right
to judge. Jesus didn't judge. We must not. We must
love. Week 25
The readings this week are from lent, but
the season during my retreat is advent. In both readings there is longing
and hunger for spiritual and physical peace. The retreat readings are
significant in dealing with the need for healing and the fact that the
healing only comes through Jesus. It is in His peace that the insignificance
of things that would possess and ravish us can be viewed in a realistic
perspective. Lord let me desire only what you have to offer and reject
the cravings of this world. Week 25
JESUS SAVES, JESUS HEALS, JESUS GIVES US
NEW LIFE..(the light of Christ) through the gifts of the Holy Spirit,
God guides and teaches us to draw closer to Him to follow what He has
planned for us. (the truth) Each day provides us with proclaiming his
Love to each other and to experience the joy and peace of being aware
that God truly loves us all. When we share in the trials and burdens
of one another, we share in the sufferings and love that God has for
each one of us.(the way)
EVERLASTING LIFE WITH HIM!(the Holy Eucharist) and the joy of eternal
salvation in the kingdom of God. Week 25
What a powerful and at the same time all
comforting week. I have truly felt the Lord's presence this week
not only through the exercises but throughout the background moments
of the day. I had been on a RCIA team for the last three years.
This year my schedule did not allow me to participate in the program.
I have stood by the candidates and catechumens as they experienced the
power of these readings for the first time. However, having had
an opportunity this week to spend time reflecting on the readings and
praying the personalized prayers associated with each reading has touched
me in a way words cannot adequately express. I now feel that joy
that I haven't felt for myself in quite some time. The only thing
I keep coming back to is "Please Lord, stay with me a little bit longer.
I am so happy to be with you."
This
is my 25th week and the readings today according to St. John
on the Samaritan Woman, The Blind Man and Lazarus made me realize how
Jesus really and actively went out of His way to seek and show
His love for individuals! I saw myself as the Samaritan woman, the Blind
man and the resurrected Lazarus! And peacefully I hope to live my life
as a disciple of the Lord Who loves me that much! And I hope that my
love will bear fruit in the way I live for others especially those who
have less than I have!
Week 25 and a time to reflect on how far
I have come both this year and over the past couple of years.
While reflecting on the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead,
it occurred to me that I have received a whole range of special graces
this year because I did not give way to resentment when my much valued
spiritual director was transferred to another parish, effective from
New Year's Day. When he accompanied me on my last journey through
the Spiritual Exercises, we uncovered a junk pile of accumulated fears,
hurts and so on, some of which had been hidden for over forty years.
I had never trusted anyone as I trusted him, so the time we worked
together, about a year on that and other projects was a very special
time for me. Normally I would have been very hurt and resentful
and probably would have returned to the spiritual desert where I had
been for so long. But I trusted that he was not the only special
person I would know in my life or that I had been given my full quota
of special graces and this year has been a stunning vindication of my
faith. His replacement, my current spiritual director, has been
a wonderful help to me on this journey, and brave enough to accept my
invitation while he was still a deacon (he was ordained in September).
So I know for sure Jesus is willing to heal me and give me life, as
long as I'm willing to trust him.
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