Week 30
Week
30: This week I was quite taken by the images of the three
gardens from the reflections…until a poem by Kabir came my way
unexpectedly, revealing what was really gong on. An excerpt:
Inside your body
there are flowers. One flower has a thousand petals
Centered there you will have a glimpse of Splendor
Inside the body and without:
Before and after gardens.
A space deep within has come to light. Not a harsh, powerful light.
Moonlight, a gentle nurturing light, a reflection from the son/sun.
-- Anita
I'm in the 30th week of the retreat. At first I didn't understand
what was meant by "graces" but I think I know now.
Yesterday when I was pondering the earthly life of Jesus --His miracles,
where He went, what He said, it struck me that we seem always to focus
on these but rarely speak of His current activities.
We don't "see" the angel sitting on the rolled-away rock.Instead,
we keep trying to strengthen our faith by repeating over and over again
the old familiar stories of "when Jesus was here among men."
Jesus IS alive!!! His Holy Spirit is in us, and WE are a part of His
cosmic drama. We are so small, so close to the earthy surface that we
can't see the far horizon. Compared with God's view ---God knows ALL--compared
with His view ours is as limited as an ant's. I guess this sort of realization
is what you mean by a "grace". Is that right?
Week 30: I found the retreat meditations very energizing this
week. Imagining Jesus realizing his own resurrection ... his care for
his mother ... his followers ... for me.
In some ways, it was appropriate to my own lifecycle ... meeting Jesus
anew ... alive for me ... and for other. I started a new role in a new
city in what is essentially for me a new occupation. This came about
after discerning movements of the Spirit in my life.
I like the image of Jesus as the gardener meeting me in the garden of
my life and gently cultivating the places he loves and helping to weed
where necessary. Last weekend my wife and I on a beautiful Sunday visited
the botanical gardens in our new city. They are beautiful. There is
also a beautiful house on the corner of my new street with an impressive
garden. But it's hard to see since it is protected by high wall and
security devices. I hope the garden that Jesus is tending in my life
is one which will be open to all and not walled in for the sake of my
inner security.
Week
30 - This week I made a sacrifice in my personal life - I turned
down a job which offered a bigger salary, a more senior position, and
a preferred technology for me. I turned in down because my current job
is near a chapel where I can attend mass any lunchtime I want, also
it provides better work - life balance for my family. Last week I felt
a bit low after turning down the job. But I was given inspiration from
week 30 of the retreat. I realised a message from the resurrection that
I had never realised before.... ..by realising, after Jesus' humiliating
death he rose from the dead to a place of honour with God, that after
death there is life, after dieing a little for the sake of God we can
rise to a more honourable position.
God Bless.
-- Alan, Belfast
Week 30 has started. It
is a bit of a shock. I didn't realize how the background of this retreat
has affected me. Last week and still now I was intensely aware of the
cross, and Jesus' descision to be there for us. I wanted to be there
with Him. Like in those inspirational stories and songs where someone
has cancer, and loses all their hair. They portray the love of others
by people shaving their hair off to be one with the one who suffers.
Like that, I wanted to be on the cross with Jesus. Now He comes to me
and says He is risen. Another almost opposite emotion floods me. Jesus
is no longer a man of sorrows, but filled with Joy. Both are Love. How
do I reconcile these? 'I send you out' He says. Be love.
greetings to you all. its a lovely spring
morning here with the sun rising over the ocean in the distance. i hadnt
identified my sadness with the retreat during the last two weeks till
i read about the low grade discouragement of studying the crucifixion
stories . during this week some joy has begun to return. my own favourite
image is of mary in the garden and the voice which says her name . and
her quiet response of Rabboni. so i have walked through this week with
the familiar and beloved companion Again. After all the years of separation
before i got clean and sober in 1987 - it has been a desolate place
to experience living without Him beside me.
so i have been able to stop and listen this week for the voice which
says Nell. and to stop and respond. Heart delighted as always.
i have also looked in the garden of my life this week to see which stones
have been rolled from which tombs. and also to locate a tomb at the
very centre of it - in which the most beloved of my life has been crucified
and entombed.
and there seems to me to be a young woman rising . a sparkling unwounded
woman. a girl. i know that life has tortured and killed parts of me
and they have lain dead a goodly while. with stones blocking the caves.
for years now - life has been restoring and this week was delightful.
the stones which i cannot move are being rolled away. and my step is
lighter and a smile on occasion surprises me.
my love to you all.
-- Nell from Tweed, Week 30
In some ways it has been "easier"
for me to stay in Holy Week and witness suffering and death than to
move unto to Easter Joy. In the past year, both my parent's passed away
and I am still struggling with the grief, even to the point of worrying
that I may not know the correct way to grieve so that I may move on.
I was thinking about death and resurrection and grief and joy, when
the thought came to me that I cannot possibly know how to grieve. Grief
is not something that I can control. I need to trust in God and let
him guide me from my grief to His joy. I need to pray and trust.
I don't need to understand. I can't understand God's ways anymore than
I can understand a crow cawing, but He will send me what I need. I believe.
Easter is more difficult than lent. Lent
has all its pious practices: its fasting and almsgiving and prayer.
It is a time of intense activity, when we feel like we are contributing
something to our salvation and the salvation of others. Then comes Easter
and all of that ends. What are we to DO now? Are we not “an Easter
people”, living always in the light of the resurrection? How are
we to live our lives now? Some reverent people I know cling to their
fasts and alms and prayers all the year, as if we were not “an
Easter people” but “a Lenten people”. Your retreat
speaks often of joy—the joy of the apostles and of Mary, who now
know their Savior is risen from the dead. But I cannot just DO joy.
Joy is always a surprise that comes unbidden. Pursued, it flees. In
all of this, Easter speaks more to us of surrender to God’s will
even than the Cross does. Even if we follow Christ willingly to the
Cross, we cannot will ourselves to rise from death. Only perfect surrender
can make us one with Life Undying. For
me, the sweet surprise of John’s gospel is that Mary Magdalene
saw the risen Christ and “she thought he was the gardener.”
Why did she think so? Isn’t it almost comical? It is one of
those tiny details that makes John’s gospel so believable. It
speaks not of joy, but of the confusion of grief. But it also instructs.
It is no mistake, I think, that she thought he was the gardener. He
IS the gardener, tending a new Eden before her eyes, the Eden of an
eternal springtime, of abundant, miraculous life. After all of his
parables of mustard seeds and sowing and vineyards, Christ speaks
her name, “Mary!” and she grows: “Rabboni!”
she replies.Risen Christ,
teach me, make me grow. Help me surrender to your will.Tom, Pennsylvania
- Week 30
I did start the week restlessly. On Sunday
morning I went to mass myself. It was a beautiful day but I was sorry
that my boys who have now grown up but were home for Easter and my
wife found reasons not to go. I met one of my clients with his family.
Frankly, I was a little resentful. But during the
week, I reflected on Jesus meeting his mother again. I pictured Mary
talking to me and telling me about the encounter and what it meant
for her. In fact, how it now put all things she had encountered in
her life and particularly the pain of the Cross in a new perspective.
Then taking my restlessness to her (which I compounded at work concerned
about how I was going to get everything done that I think needs to
get done), I hear her talk about perfection. God does not promise
perfection rather God promises love and because of that transformation.
I know my restlessness is still part of my pattern of sin …
I want it all … more … even the perfect family …
rather than what God wants from me out of His love. The fact of the
resurrection does not obliterate Jesus’ wounds … and therefore
the wounds we carry or have not closed. So I wander with
the disciples around that Garden of Resurrection still confused by
what it all means but hopeful too … because Jesus is present.
I thought about what the disciples are really doing after Jesus’
death. I always imagined them in a kind of limbo state … confused.
Maybe they were but more likely they are also thinking about getting
on with life … “OK this venture is over … seemed
a good idea at the time … great ideals … great goals ….
Destroyed by powerful forces … we’ll never overcome them”.
Jesus’ presence is a direct challenge … it’s not
over … the powers of darkness have not overcome … and
the challenge is clear … “get back out there and keep
the work of transforming love going”.I pray that we
may all find our way of doing that.
As I read the teachings for this week, I
see many lessons to be learned. The photo of the person entering the
empty tomb, the place where Jesus' body was, is now empty. I thought
of how many miracles we often miss because we fail to enter into the
tomb of emptiness in our lives, we are afraid of entering into the place
God has prepared for us.
Then, there was Mary Magdalene, one of the first to see our resurrected
Savior because her faith would not allow her to believe that the tomb
could hold him captive. How many times we fail to receive the promises
of God because we allow circumstances to overwhelm us with doubt and
unbelief.
Peter, the rock, the one chosen to succeed Jesus, did not have the courage
to enter the tomb first. We don't know exactly why he stopped at the
entrance of the tomb, maybe he was afraid of what he would find. Could
it be that we sometimes give up just before we about to receive a miracle
because we fear God's goodness. The beloved disciple persevered and
was the first to see and touch a miracle - the very clothes that had
bound the body of Jesus. This is proof of what happens when we are not
afraid to enter into His presence.
I offer my special prayers for all of us during this Advent, now only
a few days from the celebration of the birth of Jesus, and pray that
we will allow nothing to bar the peace and joy of this wonderful season
from us.
The thirtieth week made
me contemplate the joy of Jesus' resurrection. I have suffered from
financial problem caused by my brother-in-law 's bankruptcy. I made
a big mistake by letting my brother- in-law use my name and my husband's
name in his deal with bank without my permission. As a result, I got
to be charge of a part of his debt. I couldn't understand what he had
done.
As Mary was looking for Jesus outside the empty tomb, I prayed to escape
from my suffering and frustration and was looking for where Jesus was.
At first if Jesus is with me, I doubted how the things happened to me
. Because I didn't have any matter with my brother-in-law's failure.
One day while I was contemplating in my church, Jesus on the Cross made
me accept my hard situation. I realized that Jesus-innocent and good-
was accused and punished and killed. At that time I experienced the
joy of Jesus being with me. Jesus ia not in the tomb. He was resurrected
from His death.
This is week 30, which I
have been on for a few weeks. Jesus is Risen!!! How wonderful,
that Jesus not only lived, died ,but also experienced what we will go
through when we are resurrected and brought into eternal life with Him.
He is always before us, and leading us, giving us the sense of joy and
security that we will be united to Him forever.
I imagined the scene of Jesus appearing first to His mother, how
much sense that He would appear to her first. The scene was too
intimate, to even be portrayed in scripture.
I imagined Mary in a room, keeping busy, she was doing some kind
of sewing or other kind of handwork in a room that was lit only by candlelight.
Her back was turned away from the door, when suddenly she felt His presence
and turned to see Him. Jesus and Mary embraced with such joy and
tenderness, a scene too emotional to find words to describe. Mary, His
mother would have been the first , she of all, would understand
that He would be with us forever.
Even after that moment , Mary then went and ministered to the apostles
in her loving way.
The indescribable joy of seeing someone who you think is dead, come
back. What joy. I have to remember that He is alive ! He
is present to me , here and now, and for all eternity. He will
never abandon me, not even in the darkest of days. He is life. While
I am waiting for the day when I return "home" I have to try to
keep that joy, that promise alive in my heart. That where He is
I will be. Jesus sent Mary Magdalene, he sent the apostles, and He is
sending me to reach out and spread the news, and live a life of love.
The basis of our faith is the believe in His life, death , and resurrection.
Eternal life and redemption are his promise to us. The challenge is
to keep that in mind, to feel His presence in all things, and to remain
faithful even when life, and our weakness make it difficult. He
will be with us always.
To experience joy in the midst of trials is what will be a lifelong
journey, but a journey with Him all the way.
The Thirtieth Week of the
Retreat had so many powerful and touching pieces. I will briefly
comment on three such pieces. In "Getting Started this Week,"
the phrase "I will not give my peace away" awakened in me a deeper realization
that what happens in the outside world I do not always have the power
to change but the way that I handle it inside myself I do have control
over. I can refuse to let tense and frustrating situations and
people take away the peace that I can claim within. How powerful
to realize and attempt to implement.
Another phrase that has meant a lot to me over the years is contained
in the words of Jesus found in Matthew 28:20 which was in the one of
the Readings for this week. "I will be with you always even until
the end of the world." This has been among my favorite Biblical
passages for years. How reassuring, comforting, and strengthening
it is to know that no matter what Jesus is here with us always even
until the end of time.
In this week of so many powerful passages, the Exultet was also included
in the Prayers for this week. At the Easter Vigil when I let myself
enter into the words of this prayer that are so beautifully sung, tears
can enter my eyes. To just ponder the powerful message that is
proclaimed in such a beautiful poetic yet profound proclamation.
Even reading it is powerful as I contemplate what it expresses.
This week when I thought of the
resurrection, my mind kept turning to the peace it brings to my life
to know that Christ did not leave. That he is not gone and will
never be gone. My prayer did not seem to get beyond that thought. Lord,
thank you for revealing the mystery of your unfolding presence in our
history and in our lives. Week 30
For week 30 my Rosary
had six mysteries: The appearance to His Mother, His appearance to Mary
and the women, His leaving only wrappings for Peter and John, the Road
to Emmaus, His appearance in the Upper Room, and His showing His wounds
to Thomas. I wondered why He appeared to the women first. I don’t
know the answer to that question, but I believe it has to do with the
natural tendencies of men and women. That is, the women had been with
Him even as He carried His cross. They had wept bitterly and openly
as they watched Him suffer and die. The men (except for young John,
of course) had run. They ran out of fear not only of punishment for
being ‘with’ Him, but also for fear of their own ‘lowly’
position in the hierarchy of Judaism. Who would believe a fisherman
before a priest or a scribe? Men put so much emphasis on ‘who
they are’ as opposed to what they do. Women, it seems to me, focus
more on the ‘what’ than on the ‘who.’ Furthermore,
the men didn’t believe when the women told them what they had
seen. Like most men, they needed positive ‘proof’ before
they would believe.
This week, for instance, there
are two concepts that I have focused on. These are not necessarily new
but in seems that I am seeing them in a new light. The first point is
the extent to which Jesus went to his death willingly. We say
in our prayers "a death that He willingly accepted." But His participation
is much greater than "nonresistance." His Apostles told Him not
to go to Jerusalem, because death awaited Him there. He told them
that this was His Mission. The one that He was given by His Father.
He told Peter to "Get back Satan...etc..."
The other point that I am contemplating is that my mission is to "Walk
with Jesus." His mission should be my mission. This knowledge
may be the answer to my prayer to know my "calling."
But how do I make Jesus' mission, my mission. St. Francis may
have shown me the way. When St. Francis took the young Friar with
him on his day of preaching the Gospel. At the end of the day,
the young friar complained that he had been prepared to preach but they
had spoken to no one. St. Francis'' way of preaching was to speak
only when necessary. I need to live the "Good News" that my sins
may be forgiven.
From these points I expect to learn to be a better follower of Jesus.
I must forget about myself. If I try to save my life, I will destroy
it. But if I give it up; I will save it. In other words,
if I follow my natural tendencies and am obsessive about maintaining
my existence on this earth, I will surely not earn the "resurrection"
that we have been promised.
I am in week 30 and have
just reviewed some other thoughts being shared by others on the retreat.
I have always felt restrained when expressing my feelings to others
so I have not participated in this part of the retreat before. However
as it says throughout "Some one else may benefit from what you have
to say." Week 29 to 30 was such an enormous transition for me . I have
been through this retreat before but must have missed this. Going from
death to life. How much more could we ask for. In the section of "IN
THESE WORDS..." seeing Jesus alive I could almost feel the embrace and
the giddyness of seeing someone that you thought was gone forever but
is back. How often have we felt that in real life with people we actually
meet - Gone but the they come back into our lives. The same with Christ,
how many times have we 'lost' Him (or ran away from him) only to embrace
Him fully when He is back. To wipe away the tears of gladness and just
enjoy the moment of reconciliation with a lost friend. It doesn't get
much better than this. Thank you Creighton for this wonderful retreat
and these fabulous feelings.
Week 31
Week 31: Lord,
The exercise to recall you taking, blessing, breaking and giving bread
was much used by me this week. I found myself becoming more annoyed
and discouraged at my work. I also become very aware that I can go for
long periods just taking your presence for granted and for other periods
annoyed that you are not the magician who makes everything perfect in
my life. My discouragement causes me to selfishly take other directions
and you need to find me and lead me back on the road. Oh that I could
be like the disciples at Emmaus when they recognised you and rushed
back to Jerusalem to continue with the other disciples. Yet I find that
your gentle prodding is real and that you come to me ... in the form
sometimes of my spouse who encourages me , co-workers who help out ...
and then I hear your gentle call that calls me to embody your presence
... and I remember it is your encouragement to be an agent of transformation
that made my heart burn ... so yes Lord I recognise your presence ...
help me to remember and transmit it in all areas ... even the most frustrating
areas of my life. Amen
Week 31: Lord,
The exercise to recall you taking, blessing, breaking and giving bread
was much used by me this week. I found myself becoming more annoyed
and discouraged at my work. I also become very aware that I can go for
long periods just taking your presence for granted and for other periods
annoyed that you are not the magician who makes everything perfect in
my life. My discouragement causes me to selfishly take other directions
and you need to find me and lead me back on the road. Oh that I could
be like the disciples at Emmaus when they recognised you and rushed
back to Jerusalem to continue with the other disciples. Yet I find that
your gentle prodding is real and that you come to me ... in the form
sometimes of my spouse who encourages me , co-workers who help out ...
and then I hear your gentle call that calls me to embody your presence
... and I remember it is your encouragement to be an agent of transformation
that made my heart burn ... so yes Lord I recognise your presence ...
help me to remember and transmit it in all areas ... even the most frustrating
areas of my life. Amen
Week 31:Jesus
is with us in subtle ways. Especially when it appears He is not with
us, if you look hard enough, and ask what He would do, you find Him.
For this Week 31, I picked up the retreat again after many months. It
was a detour due mostly to travel and my absence from my trusted daily
routine, and then some resistance to ”coming back”. Although
there were some spiritual positives during my wandering absence, I missed
the steady working through the materials provided by the retreat structure
that had really changed me last year when this all began. So I am back.
As before, I am trying to find the week’s lesson and internalize
it before moving on. The Emmaus story is a wonderful revelation of the
process of recognizing Christ around us. My work burden had my head
spinning this week and somehow Christ emerged, even there in the middle
of the struggle.
Using this week’s approach to discovery of Christ’s hidden
presence through dialogue, I was able to overcome a potential miscommunication
with one of our donors. Donors are critical in my work in an NGO (non-government
organization) since we rely exclusively on external funding. What they
say goes, even if it hurts. A mood of paranoia and under-appreciation
had set in. I was feeling sorry for myself and desolate, and very self
absorbed, and worried. Much of this was due, in my mind, to this donor
representative’s intransigence during a long contract negotiation
and his seeming disregard for my contributions to our project. So this
time, inspired by the commitment to turn a negative into a spiritual
positive, I asked for the grace to take steps to understand this person
and clarify his requirements, meeting him on “his journey”
and simply talking with him from a place of respect. It was the hope
of emulating Jesus with the travelers on the road to Emmaus, and to
reach out and patiently cultivate the “recognition of Christ”
in others that changed the tone, and hopefully the outcome of this negotiation.
My work life is further complicated because my contract is ending in
a few months and I have no secure job down the road.
Years ago, I would be so worried and on edge. But for some reason, probably
due to the graces of this retreat and how they have mellowed my approach
to work and life, I am joyful in spite of the looming uncertainties
of no work, and daily struggles of work. I feel secure that Jesus is
there, somehow in the middle of my angst, and it becomes calm.
At supper with my wife, we break bread and I see myself caught up in
moment of recognition that Christ is with us too, blessing us, encouraging
us, and at the same time asking us to find him in others, when He is
often not apparent. I think the disappearance of Christ in this story
is very meaningful. Sometimes we are consoled by his presence but other
times we are desolate, or he just disappears. Once we have received
the gift of recognizing him, we seek and find him in our sharing with
others. We partake of the “supper that revives.”.
Instead of searching anxiously for a Christ that is not there, I ask
for the grace to apply what I have learned from the Teacher so that
moment of recognition somehow reveals itself in my relationship with
others. Jesus is among us, but I learned we do have to dialogue and
invite him, to “stay longer.”
--David in China
I imagined
what the two disciples were talking about on the road to Emmaus. I imagine
them talking about the "authorities" and how once again those
with power and privilege had stripped them of their promise. Then Jesus
is present with them. Without realizing it is Him they feel their promise
returned. Then as He breaks bread they see Him.
Jesus,
be especially present when I feel powerless. Jesus remind me that
You came for the powerless ... help me to restore your promise to
those who feel broken and powerless.
from Nell
on tweed on a cool and lovely spring morning in Australia. i experienced
a good deal of discouragement this week which was unexpected. the
expression - THEY HAD DIFFERENT HOPES - touched me. i had different
hopes as so many of us do and just this week couldn't convert them
easily into accepting gods wishes for me. As a recovering addict/
alcoholic - the phrase about self chosen tombs and hiding places also
touched my soul. as i had spent many years burying myself and trying
to roll the stone across my own tomb. two small hurts this week had
me scampering down the Emmaus road aiming for one of those tombs .
theyre less easy to climb into without drink drugs or gambling to
help me play dead. but the Collector was there beside me as he was
in 1987 when he fetched me out of the dark world. and i was able to
slow down. accept the broken bread and turn back into life albeit
without my usual excitement and enthusiasm. but nevertheless , accompanied
and beloved. i seem to be useless in the world - but this is the work
i have been given for now and i can wait within it . i can turn back
to my people in meetings and my family and wait till i am shown what
to do next. i do not walk alone. love to you all
-- Nell, Week 31
I found it
relatively easy this week to be discouraged. I did do the exercise bringing
Jesus’ blessing, breaking and offering bread at many points of
frustration. There were quite a few since I had a series of difficult
meetings … organizational politics were rife … and I got
to play my part too … which I don’t necessarily feel proud
about. Overall though on a spiritual level I felt discouraged. Then I reflected
more on the disciples on their way to Emmaus. They are getting back
to life … to what must be done … to make a living. Jesus
who had seemed so relevant is no longer a reality. Except that they
meet a stranger and without even realizing it what they felt when
they were with Jesus comes back again. They see His life in its larger
context. Then in the breaking of the bread He is really present …
just as He becomes present to the other disciples … confused
by the messages of resurrection. Resurrection is a physical act. If
we are resurrected it is not just some ghostly figment of our imagination
or some special movement of our souls. Rather, with Jesus present
we really have changed … just as the disciples on their way
back to Emmaus have changed and they didn’t realize it until
they met “the stranger”. And Jesus resurrected, is the
Jesus who still has wounds. Resurrection obliterates the Cross but
not the woundsSo I ask Jesus
to continue to forgive me when I’m rushing back to Emmaus …
self absorbed … ignoring others around me who are as much the
presence of Jesus and to whom I can be present in different ways …
and to return with Jesus to that state I feel called to in his Eucharistic
prayer.
I want to
encourage everyone who is struggling in exercises TO CONTINUE with
them! You will be awarded with numerous gifts and light if you will
reach to the end! God bless you all and thanks to st.Ignatio Loyola
for helping me through this journey!
ivana, 31 week
Starting (second time) week
31. I was so diligent through most of the retreat, then my
children came home from college for the summer. Before I knew
it, almost two months had gone by before I found myself "needing" to
get back to the retreat. I read the sharing from those of you
just starting, and I remember my own intense enthusiasm almost a year
ago when I was starting. My sharing now is to let you know that
while I slipped from the retreat for a while, I have a sense that God
is incredibly patient with me (with us), and is now gently reminding
me to finish what we started together. I am anxious now to continue,
and want to let you know that when you come this far, you truly are
a changed person. I have been more patient with my family and
others, I know what my personal challenges are, and what weaknesses
I am prone to, and how now to respond to those times of weakness. I
have a deeper sense of God's presense with me ( when I take time to
reflect). This retreat has opened me to these teachings. And,
if you find yourself slipping a bit, don't worry about it -- God will
bring you back through when you are ready --- you won't forget the lessons
and messages you have learned along the way! God bless you all
--- I feel a bond with each of you making this retreat, and remember
you all in my prayers.
Week 31: I found myself
tonight at my computer, and I was going over the readings from the road
to Emmaus, when Jesus walked along two of his disciples who were so
discouraged , brokenhearted and bewildered at what had happened in Jerusalem.
They had such hopes that Jesus would return, they did not recognize
him as he walked along. Jesus talked and told them about things, about
how the Messiah had to suffer before he was given his glory. He walked
and talked with them.
They reached their destination and asked Jesus to stay with them as
it was getting night. After sitting down, Jesus took, blessed,
broke, and gave bread to them. It was in the breaking of the bread
that they knew who he was.
They then returned back to Jerusalem to find the eleven apostles,where
they learned that Jesus was alive and had appeared to Peter. Then the
disciples from Emmaus told what had happened on the road and how they
knew it was the Lord when he broke the bread.
I thought about how I am sometimes like the disciples on the road who
" had different hopes". Jesus companioned them on the road , he
gently talked and walked with them even though they did not recognize
him, he fed them .Companion literally means "with bread". He gave them
the greatest hope in the midst of their deepest fears and hopelessness.
He overcame death, he overcame evil, and he joyfully wants them and
me to know that all will be well. I am deeply comforted to know that
Jesus finds us where we are in our brokenness. He comes disguised as
a dear friend, our kids, and annoying neighbor. In each one of them,
He is there only sometimes harder to see. Sometimes when I get absorbed
in problems , discouragement , or worries, that I forget to see that
He is with us. He is there and comes to us to heal, love, and
to bring us to eternal love and life. There are times in my life when
I have had "different hopes" and things did not turn out the way I had
hoped, but Jesus was there with me on the road. He was companioning
me and I did not see it .
Jesus is in me and in others , we are His hands and feet. He is
present to us, and He is present through us when we reach out to our
brothers and sisters. The ultimate gift , in the breaking of the bread
is so awesome, it is hard to comprehend, but the gift is there at every
Eucharist, and at every moment.
When I get overwhelmed with problems and challenges it is then that
I must remember that He is with me, always, Jesus will not abandon me
or you. Jesus is with us and alive. Praying for all on this retreat,
please pray for me too.
There were a few instances during
this Thirty-first Week of the Retreat where I was getting self
absorbed and the exercise of imagining Jesus taking, blessing, and breaking
bread and then giving it to me really did add a sense that the Lord
was present and I was doing what He called me to do. It brought
Jesus more actively into the picture which in turn made me realize in
those moments that I did not need to be in the center of the picture
nor did I need to be picture perfect. This enabled me to go about
my activity with a renewed sense of meaning and took my focus off of
myself and put it on others and on the call of Jesus.
Not to downplay the sanctity of
the Eucharist, but I do not have access to daily mass. I do read the
scriptures everyday. Everyday, I look for the presence of the Lord in
my reading of the Word. For me the “breaking of bread” on
the road to Emmaus does draw out the heart Catholicism, but in reading
the story on the road to Emmaus I find myself returning again and again
to the talk on the road itself when “Jesus then explained
everything written about himself in the Scriptures beginning with the
Law of Moses and the Books of the Prophets.” I keep wondering
how they did not see him when he revealed himself in the Word. I thank
God that the Word has so much more power in my life because I have so
much more access to it than to the Eucharist.
But without regard to this side issue, this week focused me on the great
gift I have in the repeated revelation of the risen Lord in my life.
This is God’s greatest gift to me, for without it, I would have
given up on life long, long ago. Because I am a sinner, I cannot say
that I always live for Christ, but I can say that I would not live but
for Christ. I stumble through this haphazard adventure like a sinner
and a fool on the road to Emmaus and then it happens: he is revealed
and I become part of the greater purpose. Interestingly, he was most
clearly present to me during Sunday mass. Week 31
As I enter week 31, I find
myself in a position of wanting to believe yet being fearful. Things
are hard at work right now. People are leaving, the work load is down,
and finances are tight. I am worried. I know the Lord has a plan for
me, but I want to SEE it! Help me Lord, to see you in everyone I meet
this week. If I am able to do so, I know that I will be following Your
plan, whatever it is. I need You!
As a mother of 6 young people who have been
disenchanted with the Catholic church and no longer attend on a regular
basis I found great consolation in this week's Emmaus reflections. The
realisation that Jesus walks so closely and so patiently with the "disillusioned"disciples
who have turned their backs on the "community" in Jesusalem makes me
realise that Jesus is and always has been accompanying my children in
their "walking away" and will one day let them recognise him in a way
only each one of them will understand and like our Emmaus brothers they
will turn in their tracks with their hearts on fire and want to return
to the Christian community to find the Risen Lord. It also gives me
a greater thankfulness to Jesus that he has already got me "hooked"!
Thank you for such a wonderful retreat.
It’s like being stretched and stretched,
and not knowing if you will break or not. It just feels better to go
back to the way you were. I’m in week 31 on the road to
Emmaus. Jesus comes after me and I must respond, but I feel like I’m
being torn apart.
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