Week 32
Week 32: Early in the week I was struck by a prayer,
attributed to Anthony de Mello SJ, in one of the Daily Reflections:
Good and gracious God:
Thank you for the gift of all life
Thank you for the gift of my unique life
Thank you for the gift of my life in this day
Thank you for the gift of my life in this moment
Somehow it helped to connect me with the reflections for the week. It
was again a very busy week with a lot of work challenges but I kept
coming back to this prayer and the encounter at the Lake with Jesus.
I feel Jesus' call ... not so sure it has to be here and I'm not sure
where ... but I realise that too often I wrap my call around what I
have to do rather than who I have to help and serve. This is what I'm
going to focus on this coming week.
Thank you for this retreat.
Week 32:: The scripture
passage this week (Jn.21:1-20) has been for me like a flower gradually
opening up. It is as if I have taken time-lapse photographs, recording
each unfolding. Here are the snapshots: Out of the blue – on a
walk outside of prayer time – it suddenly dawned (dawn!!!) on
me that I was “on the shore” with Christ…that I had
made a huge crossing. I was in a new surrounding.As I look back through
six years of widowhood, and the re-building of a life – this time
not a partnership and family, but a life with time for solitude, prayer,
and writing – I see myself in the night, catching nothing, until
Christ tells me to let down the net on the other side. (I’ve learned
in spiritual direction that “turning” has great significance.)
Here much is caught! The
invitation to begin this retreat last fall was Christ telling me to
“let down the net into the deep”. It has come up loaded
with grace-filled gifts.This week I feel I have reached the shore.
It is dawn, Christ is present, I am in a new place enjoying breakfast,
and I have touched deep peace.Twice in the last few weeks I have had
friends visit. They have sat in my living room and their first comment
has been: “This is a very peaceful place.”My ministry at
this time in my life: The offering of hospitality, of a place (my
home), an empty space, where people who enter feel free to discover
their own inner wisdom. My mission: To stay where I AM, on the shore
with Jesus, drawing a map for others (through my writing) of how I
got there. As I reach the shore, I am happy to lay the great heavy
haul down. I am tired from the hauling, happy to lay it at the feet
of Christ in thanksgiving, for Him to guide me in how I am to nourish
others from the many graces and gifts in this huge net.In my writing
I am to take signposts from within to draws a map for others to the
heart of Jesus – a guide within which others can add their own
tracings. The beloved disciple has struggled to come to the light
of day within me for 60 years – me too afraid to “go there”,
happier to be active like Peter. I surrender (finally) to this deeper
call within to go “where I would rather not”, bound in
love to Christ. I am not alone as I travel unknown roads.
-- Anita
This is my final week. I
started this retreat with an open mind. Life was proving difficult and
I faced a few intractable problems...a veritable mountain to climb.
I persevered with this retreat, without high hopes or expectations -
just see how it goes. I drove on, dealing with my various ups and downs...trudging
on from day to day What is worth sharing here is that the transformation
is barely noticeable from day to day - but its only when you when you
look back you realize how far you have come. I keep a diary and it was
remarkable to read the entries for this time last year when I started
the retreat. The mountains are still there but the perspective has radically
changed and so has the direction I'm going in. This time I have a map
and been shown "the Way"
Lord, I understand how easy it is to go back
... and even though I desire to follow you ... to resort to old patterns. But I know you
are constantly present ... lovingly trying to lead me forwardf ...
something like a father coaxing an exhuberant young child on a trip
... the child (me) intent on stopping ... exploring ... and sometimes
stubbornly just sitting down and refusing to go any further. And this week
as I rushed from place to place ... new faces ... new ideas ... it
was more powerful hearing your words, "Follow me" and for
me to respond ... sometimes with a little resistance ... "Yes,
Lord I am with You, here". So Lord, I really
do want to be with you here ... guide me so that my steps demonstrate
your love to others. Amen
Blessed are the poor in spirit. Week
32 a second sharing from nell on tweed. battling all week
to ' cheer up' when i look down in the valley below my cottage and
there is a fire burning on the bank of the creek. in the morning there
is smoke again and sure enough there is a small group of fishermen
there just like our reading for the week. its been a real comfort
to me the last few days. as if jesus himself were down there with
his followers talking and givineg them direction . i am still feeling
very lost but the sight of that small group and their little boat
on the water is making a big difference to me . looking forwards to
the wee fire again tonight. and know that direction will come to me
too . and the comfort of the Masters love . yours.
--Nell from Tweed
It seemed easier to understand Jesus' feelings
during his passion and death. I needed only to magnify enormously the
pain, the abandonment, the fear and the tremendous effort to trust the
Father. It was enormous but I could understand it. I prayed to understand
Jesus' feelings having been risen up by the Father. I went on blankly
for more than a week but then understood as Jesus' said "why ask
me? You know what it is like. Through my death and resurrection and
thru your baptism you are in the last days - you are living the life
with me. The intimacy you feel with your sisters and brothers who are
my sisters and brothers in baptism is the intimacy and peace of the
risen life. When you gather around my table and recognize me in the
breaking of the bread you are in the fellowship of the risen banquet
with the angels, Saints, saints and those around the world who recognize
me in the breaking of the bread and offer me and themselves to the Father
thru ther power of the Spirit."
I recall someone saying that ther last page of the book of life is already
written. It says, Jesus risen from the dead, followed by the list of
all humanity risen from the dead.
Thanks to Jesus for his great sacrifice that even today gives us life.
Thanks for this retreat as well.
I should be finished by now, but I have allowed
my self to be distracted some weeks by things I thought were more important.
It would be very easy to finish this retreat and return to a less spiritual
life than before I began for there are so many useless distractions,
but what a waste that would be! Although I soon will have completed
this retreat, I must continue the journey, for I know that God is calling
each of us to a higher spiritual place to Him in Jesus. Whatever I have
learned on this journey and the future I must pass it on to those I
encounter along the way. With the grace of God, I will continue fishing
on the right side of the boat.
during the 32th week, the
article "bring some of the fish you just caught." was so impressive
for me. while I have been continuing the retreat, I contemplated what
some of the fish I just caught was.
I came to be more aware of myself as a sinner. and I experienced Jesus'
love for me is timeless regardless of being myself. Although I was a
poor sinner, Jesus has not only been with me but waited me with His
great love.
In a last evening mass, Jesus invited me to make a confession, like
he was telling " follow me."
with the help of confession, I will have a coming Easter day more excitedly.
I experienced again and againt that Jesus' nourishing presence is most
effective when I accepted his invitation.
I focused on the scenes on the
shore:So we decided to go back to
Galilee. Yes it’s certainly not as glamorous as Jerusalem but
its home and familiar. There were 7 of us and Peter decided to go
fishing. We’d been sitting on the shore becoming accustomed
again to the setting. We were talking … even a little joking
… just like the old days. Returning to the “old days”
seemed not a bad idea after everything that had happened. But really
how could we? Had we not been present when Jesus healed … when
Jesus called people who you would never have thought would have been
candidates for transformation … but they became transformed.
And he had called us. How could we return to the “old days”?
But going fishing seemed like a good idea. We fished
all night. Fish sometimes are not cooperative. We had almost decided
it must be down to a “low pressure area” or one of the
many excuses we fishermen find for not being productive when we caught
a glimpse, through the breaking dawn, of a figure on the shore. He
asked how it had been going and when we told him he suggested we cast
to the other side. What had he seen there? Sometimes you get so focused
on where you think the fish are that you forget the obvious …
try something different. We had been casting where we thought there
would be fish … repeatedly. Sometimes it takes someone who can
see the big picture. The nets
filled up. John recognized it was the Lord and Peter when he heard
that jumped in the water and half pulled the boat, half skipped ahead
of us. We took some of our catch and the Lord carefully prepared the
fish and cooked them on the fire. He broke bread with us and we had
absolutely no doubt who he was.Later he
took Peter aside as sometimes he had in the past. Peter looked embarrassed
but the Lord had clearly forgiven him … we all recognized Peter
as our leader but we also recognized like the Lord his impetuousness.
Jesus’ clear invitation “Follow Me” … said
in clear but also whispered tones remained in us. Later John would
talk to us about this as the voice of the shepherd whose voice the
sheep recognize and we certainly did then and still do today.So like Peter
I am not sure where my response to follow the Lord will take me. I
will not forget that lesson on the boat to remember to cast out where
I am today. I will continue to ask the Lord to challenge my assumptions
about the best places to cast and let me see his bigger picture. I
will also not forget the lesson that I need to be prepared to feed
all of God’s flock and certainly if I cannot feed them all myself
not to deny one part of the flock because that is the more comfortable
thing to do. I pray to continue to respond to the Lord’s call
to follow him, “Lord I am here with you ….”
As an avid fisherman I definitely understand the feeling when you’ve
fished all night and caught nothing! What struck me particularly is
that in my response to the call I still have no definitive path. I
think when I started the retreat I believed by the end I would have
a definitive path. Jesus, though, did not give Peter the definitive
path … only the warning that he would not go through life for
ever with his energy and impetuousness. Goal oriented people like
me have a hard time accepting that the destination is different than
what we set out for. But now I feel more accepting that the call is
not clear. I am open to the call and some of the excuses for not listening
that I had before … particularly money and status … I
am willing to give up if that is what the Lord wants.Thank you again
for this retreat.
Week 32: The reading about
Peter and his conversation with Jesus is a very powerful scene. Jesus
knew exactly what Peter needed to allow himself to be healed of his
denial ,and to move forward in his mission. Peter didn't know
what to do, except go back to something that was very familiar and
comfortable for him.
Jesus gave Peter encouragement and challenge at the same time.
He allowed Peter to see that if He listened ,answers would come :
yet he challenged him to action as well ; "Feed my lambs".
I am feeling that way too, I know that life will never be the same
after experiencing this retreat. I also know that it is not the end,
it is the beginning. I want to share and nourish others, the way I
have been nourished. But how and where?
It would be easy to just go back to my life, and the ways that I participate
in church, yet I feel that there is something more that I need to
do to follow Jesus. My weaknesses and old patterns though touched
by grace are still an undercurrent , to I pray to keep my eyes on
Him. To focus on Jesus and the great love that is present at
all times in my life. It was the Holy Spirit that led me to this retreat,
and to all things that have brought peace in my life.
I am asking God for the grace to remain open to taking a risk, not
being afraid to follow Him. The question of where, how , and
who will be answered . I will follow Jesus, I will follow His lead
, but can only do so with God's grace.
Praying for all who are making this retreat, as well as the on-line
retreat staff. God bless you.
I was planning to stay with weeks
30-32 of the Retreat until I could feel the joy of the risen Christ
more consistently. I have seen that my self-centeredness and focus on
my fears and problems has kept me from living in the presence of Christ
risen each day. But, then I thought about those first Apostles who knew
Christ risen, who were renewed by the Holy Spirit and who moved out
into the world with the Gospel. They struggled, they had problems and
conflicts and ordinary lives.Still, they kept their focus on Christ
and did the work he called them to do--they moved ahead and so will
I. Each time that I feel fear or react with anxiety to life, it will
become the time to recall the joy of Christ present-the Retreat has
taught me to live with a beginning awareness of those "decision points"
where I can choose to focus on my self or on God. Week 33 here I come.
The renewal of our call from the
Lord in the Thirty-second Week of the Retreat was very uplifting.
While I had said 'yes' to the call of the Lord as part of the Eleventh
Week of this Retreat, it was with some fear in completely saying 'yes'
and with the accompanying prayer that the Lord would grant me the strength,
faith, and courage to follow through with that 'yes'. While I
know that I too have returned to my 'old ways' since my 'yes' all those
weeks ago, it was easier to respond 'yes' this week. While I can
not explain exactly why, I know that it must be the work of the Lord
in my life helping me to live out my 'yes'.
I always like to think of the risen
Jesus on the shore with grilled fish, just before dawn, waiting for
me. Week 32
The broken record is back again.
It seems impossible that I am already starting week 32. I wish
I didn’t feel so confused. On one hand, I know I have come a long
way. On the other, I don’t feel ‘ready’ to end this
and return to life as it was. I don’t WANT to return to life as
it was, but I know myself and fear that that is just what I’ll
do. Lord, help me move on, as Peter did. I hear Your call, and I want
with all my heart to follow, yet my fears persist. Help me. Fellow retreatants,
pray for me, as I will be praying for you.
It's week 32 - so much has deepened
in my relationship with the Lord. I thankyou because my son is so much
better! I placed his care to you and you are healing him. Thanks and
praise be to God!
I am in week thirty-two. This
whole retreat has blessed me in a way that will, hopefully, allow
me to bless others!
The Jesuits teach a magnificent spirituality where
we become part of scripture as a living character witnessing the events...this
has affected me profoundly. I am grateful for this new way of
worshiping my Lord and look forward to each new day of participating
in the online retreat.
Those of you who are just beginning this retreat-
know that you will be profoundly blessed by the handiwork of some great
Jesuits who will bring Christ to you! May you grow in your
likeness of Christ and experience hope, joy, peace and God's love!
I never want this retreat to end. Diane
Week 33
Week 33
I had time yesterday to reflect on the past 33 weeks. At times, I feel the loss of things I can’t do that I used to be able to do. But then it hit me. I might have lost the physical things I could do, but I appreciated all the things I can still do. If I can’t do the spiritual things I could do it in the past, it is because those were incomplete or somewhat hollow. God has given me the ability and grace to see this and move on to a more God-filled life. I am far from complete. This retreat and other Spirit filled graces God has given ALL of us, allows ALL of us to accept and grow as Paul, Peter, and all the saints did.
We are never complete. We need to let God’s love grow in us each and every day. My Love for God was like the mustard seed----I haven’t always seen it, but Thank You Lord for it.
God Bless ALL!
Week 33: Lord, There
is no doubt that I can give you thanks with my whole being ... I feel
your presence in all life around me and this week I feel this reinforced
... With family, friends, being in exciting places, with exciting people,
fishing, in the country with my wife. I thank you for how you have uniquely
entered my life. I commit each day to you. But what about the unease I feel here? Lord, I ask you to use that
... To be with me when it becomes self serving and potentially destructive
... Because I offer all I have for you to use ... Who am I having
made that offer to question how you are using it? Yes there are barriers
here at work ... There are ways in which I don't think it is working
the way I expected it ... But in my discernment I need to come back
to you ... Are these barriers preventing me doing your work or my
work? So if I love with you with all my heart ... And listen to your promise
... I trust that I will indeed find the answer to that question. Lord
thank you for loving me ... Help me to continue to return that love
to you every day. Amen
Week 33: This has been a
strange week of mixed emotions: relief that the exercises are coming
to an end, and also grief at their ending. They have provided a framework
and discipline over the 30-plus weeks that is difficult to leave now.
It is like being on a nine month sabbatical and having to return to
the “ordinary”. I
return strengthened in my commitments, and passionate for the true,
good, and beautiful. I have had to take a difficult stand in a leadership
capacity, putting community ahead of individual agendas, and I have
been blessed with the grace to a further letting go of my adult children
and grandchildren.I undertook these
exercises as a symbolic way of entering my 60’s. My birthday
has come and gone, and I delight in the new journey ahead. My backpack
is lighter and has space for new found treasures on the way!
--Anita
I found this a very energising week. I truly
am thankful for the many gifts in my life. As I reflect on what I may
do in return I think of where Jesus has brought me since I started this
retreat process. When I first went through the retreat I was physically
"comfortable" but spiritually "uncomfortable". So
when I started this time I had been shaken out of comfort. Experiencing
Jesus' love and forgiveness moves me to be comforted spiritually. Since
the retreat started I have moved to a different life in a different
city. I'm not sure where this path will take me but I pray that it may
be with Jesus and that he will guide me along the way.
Week 33 greetings to you
all on the first day of the last week of this retreat which has become
my way of life. its been a quiet and reflective week for me and again
i become wordless. i will be 57 years old tomorrow . and am quietly
emerging from a darkness of the last few weeks. one thing i have come
to this week is that i simply cannot live as useless a life as this.
i dont know whether it will lead me to being a Nana and moving near
my family or what. but i KNOW the Master doesnt want me sitting here
half alive. i havent been given the gifts i have been given to leave
them wrapped in boxes on a spiritual shelf. perhaps some of these birthday
gifts for a woman at this age and this time are ones i havent had before.
its time to begin opening them and see what they are able to do. my
love to you all.
-- Nell from Tweed
Week 33 greetings to you
all from nell on Tweed. i seem to have less and less to say with each
week of the retreat. and am sad to have the ending so close. as i sat
at the edge of the lake this week . i thought about how lost the disciples
must have felt. knowing their lord was alive but not knowing what to
do next. unable to just go back to the way things were before. i am
troubled and still unsure of what im being called to this time. the
answer remains YES - nevertheless i havent come to peace at all and
maybe i wont. NOR DO i have a direction i can see in which to move.
Springtime is just touching us here - and my loved ones are all in far
off places. i am still on my hill with a lot of time alone and this
week was very short of food and companionship. this year has driven
me to the centre. to leaning into the Master and trusting.
it seemed to me i was on the shore in my cottage when the young men
came and took themselves out fishing - then when the Master came along
i was there with him lighting the fire and preparing for the young ones
to come in from the Sea. when he went to call them in - i craved THEIR
excitement. their newness and youth. i envied them the exiting missions
they would be called to and sent on and yet as i sat eating with them
all - i could hear the voice of my friend Sister Clare from Maroubra
in sydney saying to me - you are being yanked into spritual maturity,
sometimes the quiet and unseen jobs are just as challenging as the action
jobs . sometimes the simple life of a woman alone may have more significance
than she or anyone else can see. perhaps staying still is as important
in its own way as the daring adventures.
when He comes i am here. when He sends lost ones - i am here. if i am
called to something else i will KNOW. for now god grant me patience.
and for those recovering addicts and alcoholics i know are following
in this retreat - for those of us who have been inclined to drama and
display - have faith. we are being formed into something finer . honed
and refined. the disobedient becomes obedient. the unthinking learns
to wait. and think. so i take time and see what fish i have brought
in this time. and i love with the many faceted love. and i WAIT. my
love to you all
--Nell.
I completed the Online Retreat in August
2004 but I was drawn back to week 33 today 2 years
later and I want to share my experience. I am overwhelmed by my experience
of God's love. I consider the gifts God has given to me: life, self
(with so many talents and abilities), all of creation, so many people
dear to me--and I am filled with gratitude. I more freely than ever
before, offer it all back to God to use. I realize that am incomplete,
unless and until I make this offer, to give all back for God to use.
I feel God's love more deeply every year and I want to share love and
grace with others more each year. I am grateful.
“Take, receive.” This
imperative, in which I offer myself to Christ, is, marvelously, an
echo of the imperative with which he offers himself to me: “Take,
eat.”Communion has
always before now seemed a one-way interaction: Christ offers himself
and I receive. But now, I see it is more like a kiss, a mutual self-giving.
When the priest says “The Body of Christ” and I say “Amen,”
I am also, in a way, saying, “take, receive.”While it is beyond
understanding—but not beyond faith—that Christ should
come to me in the Eucharist, it seems to me even more astonishing
that he should accept to take and receive me. Christ, the infinite,
eternal one, took on flesh in his conception and birth and enters
into the flesh of all us in his Eucharistic form. We have almost come
to expect these incarnations. But for me to be accepted by Christ—why
is that so much greater a leap of faith? I don’t know the answer,
but it is encouraging to know that when I receive Communion, I now
have in my heart the words to offer him something in return. That
hope of reciprocity enriches the relationship.
Tom, Pennsylvania
I felt especially graced this week. It was
fortuitous that the week started with a 40 hour Adoration in our parish.
I used some of my time to reflect on all I had to be thankful for
and what I had come to understand about the Lord in this retreat.
I felt a deep appreciation in a special way for Jesus’ love
for us. I ended the week
with a retreat organized in my parish. Two reflections were especially
useful in the context of this overall retreat. We meditated at the
start on a prayer attributed to Archbishop Romero. One verse stood
out for me personally:
“We cannot
do everything and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
That enables us to do something, and to do it very well. It may
be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity
for the Lord’s grace to enter and do the rest”.
We finished with
reflecting on some propositions by Father Van Breemen OSJ on the differences
between “Fruitfulness and achievement”. I had a brief
resistance to this. My propensity to see the opposite side and challenge
started to rise up. But this was more about my pattern of resistance.
I wanted to say that achievement can be good sometimes. Think of the
inventiveness and creativity that comes when people feel driven and
motivated to improve or excel? Think of how much good can come from
this? Think of how many social problems we could solve if we really
harnessed this? And, of course, this is all true and the achievement
motivation is one of God’s great gifts to us. But that is the
point … it is not our accomplishments … this is God’s.
As Archbishop Romero’s prayer, quoted above, ends: “We
are the workers, not master builders, ministers, not messiahs. We
are prophets of a future not our own”.So I look forward
to planting and watering seeds wherever God may desire with trust
that may one day they will grow.Thank you again
for proving this retreat. Week 33
I just thought it would be good to share
on behalf of our small group who have been doing the retreat now for
seven years. It has taken us 7 years to get to week 33.
We have managed to meet more often in the last few months and hope
to finish within the next two weeks. After that we are planning to
do it again but in a much more concentrated and focused way over the
course of 6 weeks or so. It is so difficult to find the time when
we all have such varied and complicated lives. In the course of these
years, we have all experienced life changing events and having the
retreat going on in the background has helped us to cope and to see
God in our everyday lives, sometimes in very unexpected places. The
Retreat has emphasised for me that God meets us wherever we are in
life, with no conditions attached, and that is a message I can't hear
often enough. These exercises are just so powerful and certainly in
my own case have helped me to deepen my relationship with God. During
this time I have been through a painful divorce and family break-up
and almost lost sight of God altogether. I have struggled so much
with my current position in the church and feel like an alien. Through
these pages, I have experienced a very loving and compassionate Jesus
who wants the best for each one of us and never gives up on us. I
want to thank everyone who has been involved in this retreat, from
those who have provided it on the web, to those who have put all the
materials together and to all those people who are taking part in
it, whatever stage they are at. We keep you all in our prayers.
Anne
Today I feel the need more than ever to share,
yet it is so hard because I am so full. I have felt the presence of
Jesus as never before; I cannot express all that I feel now, only that
I am so pleased that I have continued. This seems like almost the end,
yet I know it is the beginning of a deeper journey and I so look forward
to it.
This week brought all the previous weeks together, a reminder to see
God in everything and everything in God.
It is hard to believe that I am so near the
end of this retreat. I was overcome with happiness and gratitude as
I read this week's materials, thinking about, and feeling, the connection
I have felt with God through this retreat. It is such a subtle thing,
a small change really, in the way I think each day, a habit I've formed
of turning to God in the quiet moments of my day, those times when my
thoughts used to turn to worry or anger. Not always, I'm still not perfect,
which I now understand God does not expect or want from me. But so much
more than before, praying and feeling an intimate and real connection
with God is a routine part of my day. Thank you to those who created
this retreat, what a service God made of your gifts! And thanks to God
for my life and my gifts and the freedom the turn them back to God and
God's work
my retreat is almost over. i have come so
far, and have so far left to go. but i am changed, and for the better.
it is not miraculous, sweeping, revelational change, but slow, incremental
shaping and molding, like the work of the stonecutter who knows the
church steeple he is fashioning will not be completed in his lifetime.
i have accomplished something i never thought i could...i have now prayed,
every day, for 33 weeks. with grace i will continue
tomorrow, and every day after that, one day at a time.
i have been able to face my own sins, hate them, and accept forgiveness.
i have stopped making deals with God to change if this or that will
go better. i have begun to fill in the empty spaces with Christ and
acccept my weaknesses when i fall. and i have learned to hurt when i
separate myself from God's grace through the failure of sin. i never
want there to be a time when i cannot stand in His presence and say
"You mean more to me than anything that can keep me from You".
i have begun to allow God to heal the relationships in my family, including
the ones damaged my me through my arrogance, anger, lust, and despair.
i see teachings all around me in everday life and challenges to my notions
of how it ought to be and how i am doing. one recently came from my
12 year old son, who plays baseball and dreams of the big leagues like
so many boys before him.
pitching a good game, his team rose and fell on typical little league
errors. but he persevered, and in the last inning, he was ahead by one
run with two outs, when a pop fly came to him. he settled under it,
perfectly corraled it in his glove...and dropped it, flushing the lead.
he pitched out of the inning, but they never got the runs back and lost
the game. in its aftermath, my son, the team captain, had to lift up
his teammates while bearing his own pain and disappoitment. he at first
blamed himself, but quickly accepted that he was responsible only for
his own part and neither he nor any one player could win or lose on
his own. he lost no confidence, accepting the fact that errors occur,
and that tomorrow is a new day and a new game and another chance to
do it right.
in comforting and supporting my son, i grew so proud that in a 12 year
old's way, he had learned so many lifes lessons on the field, and that
i had become willing to learn from his example the way i hoped he had
learned from mine.
my errors are sins...i am responsible for my part....but i cannot do
it alone. to win, i must be part of a team, a community of faith, and
accept the direction of a loving and merciful Savior, who has always
been there to remind me that yesterday is over, and today is a new game,
and another chance for greatness. all i need do is follow Him where
he leads, because He believes i can do it. and because He does, i do
to.
so i go to bed tonight, so grateful for the opportunity Jesus has given
me, anxious to get in the game of a good and decent life in God....and
win.
During the 33th week retreat
I experienced more deeply that God's sustaining love and care for me
flows much like the warmth of the sun. that made me so happy. It was
so touching for me to reflect that everything I have is a gift by God.
I 'd like to keep it in mind and respond God's love. It also was a great
grace to aware that my flaws and shortcomings I so often look at was
a God's gift and invitation.
Now I can't but express the overflowing gratitude in my heart.
"Lord, In all, Let me love and serve you. Amen."
Week 33:
Thank you my Jesus,thank you my savior and love . I am unable to say
what I feel, but I know that You are my love for all time. I thank
God for giving me life and sharing His gifts with me.
During this week, I have reflected on God's love and gifts to me and
to those that I love. How unbelievable that so much has been given
by this ever loving present God. He is the present of my life.
I have been like the ungrateful child on Christmas wondering if there
is more, but through this retreat I am beginning to realize that the
"GIFT" of being His child is enough.
I am incapable of saying enough thank yous, so I really need to put
my love into action by living a more authentic life of love. God has
graced me with so many people, talents, and life, how can I truly make
a return. Sometimes I think what I have to return is not enough, but
then I remind myself that all good is from God, so how can that not
be enough?
Before I started this retreat, I can remember driving in my car one
day, feeling very sorry for myself, thinking what do I have to offer?
what are my gifts? I was that child who did not realize that the gifts
were enough. The evil one had me actually scoff at my gifts. I
remember thinking, not bright enough , not talented enough, not this
not that. I actually pinpointed a gift that I could name, and
I scoffed at it. I remember thinking, I do have the gift of compassion,
and at that time I actually thought, this gift is not something
that the world thinks is so great. When I remembered that this week
, I feel sorry for not being grateful to God for that gift and the countless
other gifts He has given me. Now I say , thank you Lord, whatever
you give me is enough. It is for you and your greater glory if I use
it.
Another gift, remembered this week. Before starting this retreat, I
noticed on the back of our misselette in church the prayer of St. Ignatius,
Take Lord Receive, it was an abbreviated version ; I remember thinking
I can't say those words. I did not want to give back those gifts of
life, and memory, etc. Now when I read that prayer it touches
me in a new way, a way that will continue to grow as I grow in love
with Jesus. How could I not want to give back all that He has given
to me.
Throughout this retreat, I have fallen in love with Jesus, by knowing
him more intimately, and letting myself be open to His love that was
and is always there. If I love Him, I have to be with Him in all
that I do, this is a challenge because of my weakness, but His love
is stronger than mine,and He will never let me out of His loving embrace.
Yes, one day all will be returned, and I want to make my life , my love
poem to God.
God bless all who are making the retreat, and to all who have made this
retreat possible.
The Lord has given me so many gifts.
Truly everything I am and have is from God. While sometimes this
realization is in the forefront of my mind how wonderful I realized
it would be if it were always in the forefront. It was nice to
look over the reflections that I have shared throughout this Retreat
as one of the ways to assist my reflections for Week Thirty-three.
I saw the many ways that the Lord gifted me over the course of the thirty-five
weeks (counting the two weeks of review) that I have been taking part
in this Retreat. There were so many insights and gifts from the
Lord who has truly blessed me.
Saint Ignatius’s “Take
Lord and Receive” prayer is so perfect. It is a prayer I
believe and love, but in my imperfections I do not often give you Lord
what you deserve. Since I seem incapable of giving, I do ask that you
take of me whatever serves you. If you want it, I know I can do without
it. Week 33
As I near the end of week 33 and of the retreat, I find myself wondering what comes next. Will I
return to my old ways, or will I be the new creation the Lord wants
me to be? My Rosary this week again had six decades that I refer to
as the Mysteries of Gratitude: 1) the Mystery of the Gift of Life; 2)
the Mystery of the Gift of my Parents; 3) the Mystery of the Gift of
my Wife and Children; 4) the Mystery of the Gift of my Job; 5) the Mystery
of the Gift of His Beautiful Creation; and 6) the Mystery of the Gift
of Jesus on the Cross and in the Eucharist. The first time I prayed
those mysteries, my eyes misted as I thought of my parents and their
love for me, a love I have not deserved; I laughed as I thought of my
family and some humorous happenings in our travels. When I think
of all the gifts the Lord has given me, I am overwhelmed. I want to
repay Him, and know that it is not possible. All I can do is live the
life He has given me. If I live it in love, I know I am secure. I pray
for the grace to live as He wants me to do. Pray for me, you who read
this, and know that I will be praying for you.
I am in week 33 of this wonderful
retreat. As I reflect on this week's offerings, I am so very much
aware of God's goodness to me and my heart overflows with gratitude
for my life as it is. As I reflect on God's goodness to me, I
can see more clearly how he has been beside me all along the journey
and I can rest in confidence that He will be with me always. I
can now see Him as my beloved friend, not a stern, judging God.
He longs to be with me, an idea that is mind boggling to me - to know
that He sees the real me and that I am precious to Him. I can
only thank Him with inadequate words but be secure knowing that He sees
in my heart. May
God bless each of us as we continue our journey in this retreat and
in our walk with Him.
Week 34
Week 34: I wanted to reflect on my 34 weeks of this very good on line-retreat.
In background I am 67 years old and retired for the last 5 1/2 years.
I have been "making" retreats at the Chicago area Jesuit retreat
house, Bellarmine Hall, since 1981 and have been with the Ignatian Volunteer
Corps for the past 5 years. While I was working, I daily prayed with
the Irish Jesuit "Sacred space" website at lunchtime. As you
can see, I have been "indoctrinated" in the Ignatian tradition
(quite voluntarily, of course) for a while.
I started the on-line retreat on its official opening date and have
followed faithfully each week of the retreat, with a few week's hiatus
when the meditations were not in sync with the Easter season. My experience
has been that I received many new insights, and, I think, became more
grounded. It was not earthshattering, and my "feelings" did
not always correspond with the reflections in the weekly material. That
did not bother me, however, and I figured that God accepted me as I
was.
For the past several years or so, I have been reflecting on God's love
for me. Right now, it is probably key to my life, although I often can
see how dense I am. The on-line retreat has helped me in this understanding.
Also, I now appreciate the "Take and receive" prayer much
more, and I hope to make it a practice of starting the day with the
prayer you suggested.
In hindsight, these 34 weeks have been very fruitful, and I think will
stay with me. It seems for me to be another very good step in the journey.
Thank you very much for the time and effort you have given to this ministry.
It has and is helping me on my journey, as it has for countless others.
--Donald
Week 34: As I come to the "end" of this retreat I thank God
for the many graces it has provided. This is the third year I have done
this ... Along with a friend ... I find it helps to centre my spiritual
life. I am only too well aware reflecting this week that we cannot measure
progress the way we might do if it were a self-improvement course. But
I found it instructive to think of the movements that have occurred
for me in the last 3 years. In the first retreat I became aware that
some of the barriers that might prevent me from moving to answer God's
calling to me were not as real and I could move forward ... Trying to
give myself for God. In the 2nd retreat I physically experienced this
movement as I moved location and job after a period of discernment.
In this retreat I struggle with where God is leading me. Each day I
have to find ways around the weeds of self-love and selfish thoughts
and behavior. But I also come to realise that I cannot do this all by
myself. Only with God's grace and so I end the retreat re-committing
to "self giving" and asking for the grace to trust God that
he will use whatever gifts he has entrusted to me according to his will.
Week 34 ended a few days ago. The image of the path will remain, permanently
I hope. I realize that Jesus, the Father, the Holy Spirit, the angels
and the saints and you my brothers and sisters are with me on this path.
The retreat has helped to illuminate the path. I am very appreciative
of the grace that the Creighton staff has cooperated with in presenting
the on-line ministry. I continue with the daily reflections and the
weekly prayers and I will probably look in on the retreat from time
to time. Thank you and God Bless You!
-- Roger
Week 34: What an exciting time 34 weeks the gestation period for a new life in
Christ!
Week 34: Well folks, this is my 34th and last sharing – I bid
“adieu” (to God) with gratitude for all of you at Creighton
and all of my companions on the way, that have shared this journey with
me. I will miss you all!
--Anita
It's
hard to believe the retreat has gotten to the final stage ... or at
least the "commencement" to go forth. Personally, so much
has happened in my life since the beginning of the retreat ... I changed
what I am doing and where I am living somewhat radically ... but I felt
all was in concert with the direction of the retreat. One practical
help I integrated actually came from a preached retreat I attended at
my parish ... I like to use St Francis de Sales Direction of Intention
both at the beginning of the day to settle into the theme of the day
as per the retreat but also before I begin an activity or chunk of activity
... I find it keeps me centered better although I am by no means consistent.
So before I start a meeting I might pray: Lord,
I give you this meeting ... I offer you all the good that I will do
and I willingly accept now for the sake of your love all the difficulties
I will encounter. Lord, let my conduct in this meeting be pleasing
to you. AmenSo as I end the
retreat I recognize again that the garden of my life has been blessed
and cared for by Jesus but that there is still pruning and quite a
bit of weeding and weed control to do. What resonates for me most
comes from the Prayer ... In these or similar words:
Lord, what
I want the most, what I feel so very deeply, is that I want to live
a life of service to you by serving others. I want to be where you
want me to be and live as you want, without hearing the self-serving
echoes of the world. Please help me in my struggle to be free from
anything that keeps me from loving and serving you. All I want in
my life is to love you. Amen
Thank you for
providing this retreat and thank you to other companions on the retreat
who have shared their thoughts and feelings. These have helped me
immensely. Week 34
Week
34 I've completed the exercises, and I asked God what came
after surrender and I "heard" the word "Joy".
May all who search for God be blest with Joy,
-- Michele
I completed
the retreat last June. It was an awesome feeling to walk with Jesus
all those 34 weeks. It help me to grow into my faith
and to fall in love with Jesus.
I followed the retreat and with the help of my spiritual director, I
was made aware where I needed more guidance and more prayer.
Thank you for this wonderful site.
Gods Blessings.
-- Roseann
Thank
you for this retreat! I very much hope that I will maintain some of
the practices that I have received such as naming my desires in the
morning, foci for background during my day and simple thanks in the
evening.
I
found Father Gillick’s reflection useful this week. If I reflect
on whether and how I have changed, I am mindful that there are many
weeds that still surround my life. But I give thanks for what I have
learned and what I try to integrate into everyday life. I am not sure
I have found yet the place where God is calling me. But I do know
that this need not be a position or place … more situations
where I can return God’s love for us. And this is what I give
most thanks for in the Retreat … a deepened sense of God’s
loving embrace. Thank you to all this online community for sharing
your faith over this period.
I am at week
34 of this retreat,,oh what joy, it has made a remarkable change
in my prayer life. There is no question in my mind as to what next,
my deep desire is to continue what I have started, to continue to show
gratitude for all the graces that I have received. I started this retreat
in September 2005 and I have been faithful to this retreat every week
without fail.My desire is to continue this way with my prayer life.
I am a member of an Ignatian spirituality group here in my island home
Barbados I have introduced my friends in the group to this site .it
was so useful to me in my weekend retreat which I attend every year.It
seem that I was walking the Emmaus road with Jesus and through this
retreat I have become closer to Jesus, in that walk I am taking time
to be alone with God.reading scripture more,enjoying and getting more
out of the mass, focussing on prayer and praying with scripture more,
and sharing with others. When I started this retreat I was seeking spiritual
renewal I have achieved my goal. My desire is just to continue what
I have started, I feel blessed. Thank you all at Creighton, thanks to
the Jesuits, may God to continue to bless you , I will continue to use
your reflections daily.
-- Joyce, Barbados
What
is the most surprising to me about the last 36 weeks is how quick and
regular it was. The retreat went so naturally--it flowed from day to
day from start to finish. I am here at the last day, Saturday morning,
and I don't feel that the retreat is really ending. What does that mean?
I am thankful for the quiet and calm influence that the retreat had
on my life. Am I a different person now? I think that is probably true,
though I can't say exactly how it is. It has been reassuring to see
the other posts from time to time. I am glad that this retreat has touched
other people's lives. Thank you Lord. Thanks to all of you.
It's
the last day of week 34, .. an ending and a beginning,
.. my prayer for all is that we "keep on keeping on", to "Know
Him, Love HIm, Serve HIm" .
My
ongoing Thanks to you all!
Week
34. Again, "Thank you" for providing this Retreat.
Words cannot describe how much I appreciate it. I plead with others
who have started the Retreat to please continue.
At the beginning of the prayers today, I prayed that no tears would
flow from me except from the presence and touch of Jesus; at the end
of the prayers I could hardly stop weeping. I feel as though I am
moving away from good neighbors and family, and it is so hard to say
good-bye, yet I know it is not good-bye because I will come back to
visit some times and to pray that you too will continue the journey.
So this is not good-bye, as Jesus would say - shalom.
Today, I feel so much stronger spiritually, like I can face any challenge
because I know Jesus is at my side.
It’s
taken me about a year to go through the 34 weeks—sometimes
lingering on a week for a little longer, sometimes getting distracted
and falling away for a week or so, then getting back into the retreat.
In all, it’s been a good experience, and I hope and pray that
I can continue to live it out in the coming days, weeks and months,
focusing not on what I don’t have, but on what I have through
the grace of the Lord, and finding ways to use what I am fortunate to
have to love and praise and serve Him.
I
am finished with this retreat and I am a better person for it. I am
so grateful to have had this experience. I urge everyone to finish it,
at your own pace if you must. It is a doorway for God to enter your
life. Week 34
This has been good for me. This is not the
end of this retreat. It will begin again, whether next week or next
fall, I don't know. My guess is that it may be too much a part of
my day now to leave behind. It's helped me to stay on track, partly
because it is so easy to reach to while I sit endlessly at a computer
anyhow. Perhaps it is the steady guide it gives my days that I like
the best. I can't seem to jumpstart a day into prayer while I am stumbling
around in the early morning, so being able to tap into this retreat
at work is my later jumpstart. I have remembered
so often the guide at the beginning of all the guides--remembering
that God will not be outdone in generosity. I love to roll that around
my heart, trying to feel its meaning. While there are many other things
that happened during the retreat, that is the one I most hang with
for this round. I also remember
how much you caught me on week 20: Freedom is all about confronting
the temptation to use one's power to feed oneself. I have somewhat
necessarily caught up in trying to heal my last experience of catholic
community. When I started the retreat, I was still thick in the web
of lies and gossip of other community members. As I end this retreat,
I am coming back out of the experience...admittedly a little worse
for the wear, but willing to try trusting again, try hoping that all
experiences are not so painful, try believing that some of them may
even be healing and joyful. And less concerned about my own healing
as it now is happening, and more concerned that I learn again to care
more for others. Thank you for
setting this retreat in front of me. Week 34
I have completed week 34,
but will be living in week 32-34 for the forseeable future. I wanted
to share two images that are my summary not just of weeks 32-34 but
of the whole Online Retreat.
The glass
is not half-empty,
The glass
is not half-full.
The glass
is always and only
filled to the brim,
and overflowing
with God's abundance.
Because of God's grace, when I look into the shadows, I can see the
light, and seeing the light, I also see that there is no darkness.
As we read in John 1: 5 "The light shines in the darkness and the
darkness did not overcome it."
I have just finished Week Thirty-four of the Retreat. It is hard to believe that thirty-six weeks have
gone by since I began this Retreat. I have enjoyed the journey.
As with anything that I experience, this Retreat will forever change
who I am even if it is just in some small way. For it is impossible
to have not grown in the midst of these reflections.
I am completing the 34th week but I may stay with the 33rd and 34th weeks for a little while.
I take comfort in the prayers and suggestions for growing closer to
Jesus and I don't feel strong enough to let go yet. This retreat
has been a grace filled time for me and I am learning to rest
in Jesus love and not to feel I am responsible for others. Sometimes
I have felt dejected because I could not touch my daughter's heart with
Jesus love but I am coming to realize that Jesus was shunned Himself,
so why should I be different? It is freeing to know that I don't
have to be responsible. I am learning to let go and rest
in Jesus love but I am not there yet. My hope and prayer is that
I will become more contempativie that I will recognize Jesus as my constant
companion as I journey through my day. I am improving but have
a long way to go. I love the term 'background times' .Thank you
to all who have contributed to this exceptional spiritual retreat.
Week 34+ … It has
been several weeks since I have looked at the Online Retreat page, though
I continue to read the Daily Reflections. I came to work today feeling
discouraged; discouraged by my own weakness and failings and by the
direction I see so many people taking these days. It seems that in this
age of ‘tolerance’ everything is tolerable as long as you
believe that EVERYTHING is tolerable. If, like me, you accept the teachings
of Holy Mother Church, however, THAT is NOT tolerable. Then the Spirit
moved me to open the Retreat page again, and again I found comfort there.
Thank you to all of you who contribute to the Sharing page, as that
was the primary source of my comfort today. I continue to hope and to
pray for the grace of courage and perseverance. I will pray for all
of you, and ask you to keep me in your prayers also.
Week 34 (continuing). It
seems so long ago that I first ‘ended’ week 34 and decided
to keep it going. In many ways, my prayers have been answered. My job
is going well in that we are getting more business than we can handle
(a good thing) and our staff is again growing. At the same time, my
weakness(es) continue to haunt me. I feel a special need for prayers
today, and ask those on this retreat to include me in their prayers,
as I pray for them.
Week 34 and counting (and
counting, and counting,…). It is hard to believe I reached the
‘end’ of this retreat some time ago. I continue to use the
“Daily Reflections” and occasionally the retreat material.
Today I reviewed the Sharing section, and was so thrilled to read new
sharings that sound so familiar: people calling on God in prayer, confessing
their weakness, opening their hearts, eyes, and ears to all God has
given and continues to give. What a blessing this site is. I have mentioned
it to friends before, and feel called again to invite them to give it
a look. As for me, the journey and its struggles continue, and I continue
my amazement at His goodness. Increase my faith.
Thank you God for this retreat,
for all those that are a part of it and protect and guide all those
who journey through this way. As I end this retreat, I take with me
a renewed sense of faith in God.
Faith - a gift of awareness of God's love and trust in Him to provide
me in all my needs in physical as well as spiritual life. for God is
always there and when I seek Him and wait and hope and then.. to respond
to His way - joy emerges. Joy in Him, love through Him, love and
caring of Him in every person that touches my life every day of my life.
How do I respond to God? the same way I am responding to everyone throughout
the day. Forgive me dear Lord, for mistreating you and bless me Lord
for becoming aware of you today. Thank you for the gift of Faith and
Love for you! amen Week 34
Week 34, continued. Things
have not gotten any easier since my first “week 34,” but
my decision to stay with the week has helped. I continue to pray the
Rosary daily and to read the Daily Reflections on the CU web site. Today
I re-read what I wrote in that first “week 34” and am a
little embarrassed to say that even my own words helped today. Life
goes on, and I know the Lord is with me. I just wish He’d tell
me how all this is going to work out. My struggles still get in the
way, I still seem to forget that He will take care of me, and even as
I mess up each day, I still want to do His will. I need help. I need
prayer. I need faith. Increase my faith, O Risen One!
Already at Week 34, and
not feeling ready yet. It was again “In these or similar words”
that touched me. My eyes misted as I read the opening paragraph about
walking down the road with Jesus. I felt the same way I did at the end
of my Christians Encounter Christ weekend years ago: “It is so
wonderful here! I don’t want to go back to the ‘world’!”
Then, I read on. When I reached the final paragraph (which includes
the words “accept these tears”), I wondered “How did
you know?” The answer did not come immediately, but gradually
I realized that it is natural to mourn endings, to forget that they
are really beginnings. As I wondered what I would do next, I made a
decision. Many of my co-retreatants have written of weeks they repeated
many times. I will repeat week 34 as long as I find it helpful, then
move on to another support (which includes the possibility of starting
at week 1 again).
I have not come as far as the words for this week suggest. I am
not so sure that my weaknesses could be cause for rejoicing even though
I have had experiences in which that was clearly the case. The debt
I owe seems to great, and my desire to somehow ‘repay’ gets
in the way. Writing this note itself is my remedy. I realize as I type
that the way to ‘repay’ is to simply do the best I can with
what I have, and to get up again when I fall. Lord, I so easily forget
that You are with me on the road. Help me remember, help me see You
in everyone I meet, help me accept my weakness as cause for joy, for
the joy Your love and mercy brings. Take and receive all of me –
I offer all to You.
Thank you for the many hours of preparation
for each weekly Guide. I especially am very grateful for your
Monday morning e-mail...this kept me on track...I am also very grateful
for the Daily Reflections...these helped me integrate the Eucharistic
celebration into every moment of my day. Since I photographed all weekly
guides I will return to them again and again...I will make my annual
retreat in the last part of June and I will take time to reflect on
the many insights of the retreat. I almost feel like starting
all over in September...
In this last week of the 34, it is
March and a war is starting. As a recovering alcoholic, I am practicing
the 3rd Step – making “a decision to turn my life and will
over to the care of God”. All these aspects of my spiritual
path come together. What
will I do to keep this focus? Lent, church, Easter will help
to do that. A regular practice of the program of Alcoholics
Anonymous will help. I will miss this daily practice and want
to continue it in some way. Perhaps the answer is to continue
to do the Daily Reflections. There is more to come, perhaps a repeat
of this exercise. I am still not as close to Christ as I would
want to be. A real life retreat has been a goal for some time. Though
Love and Service are always a part of my life, this experience has
helped me to see how I might dedicate myself to these goals in other
ways. In part, that means the process of coming “off the road”
and dedicating myself more to family. This five years of carrying
our product to customers, and helping them to learn how to use it,
has been a practice in applying Love and Service. Now, it seems,
there is another way to do that. The choice to do my job differently
has been both an opportunity to serve the greater good in a different
way, and a sacrifice to me. I love the travel and working with
our customers, however the job means I am less grounded and less present
to my family. I
plan to go on retreat, become an active citizen again, study, write
and concentrate on my health and home. As it changes, my job
will undoubtedly offer new ways to serve. This new phase of
my life as a mother and grandmother is a gift of this exercise.
Thank you for making this retreat available online.
I began the retreat on a suggestion of a
Jesuit friend. I had looked at in browsing from the Online Ministries
daily reflections. My thought was at my age( middle 70's it might not
fit my group. But after sticking with it the whole 34 wks. I
found it very inspiring for the years to come. We are told by staticians
that if you have good health and live to 70 , you have pretty good chances
of living another 20yrs. Prepare by investments to have enough to live
on comfortably. So how about our prayer and giving back to God time.
Not just monetarily, butof self to the poor. This is what all seniors
can do. Volunteer work with the poor, kids tutoring, emptying closets
and giving beautful clothing., visiting neighbors who aren't well or
can't drive. It doesn't have to be every day , but something is better
than nothing. When I started this retreat I was going to go all the
way. And now that it is over(my 2nd week away) I really miss it. I hope
inthe future that that something could be done monthly or even a refresher
week quarterly.. Thank you all again for your wonderful inspiration&
may God Bless You All!!
Beloved, I am in the next to the last day of
this retreat. And for those contempating the journey, know
that it has taken me more than the thirty four weeks. In some
of the dry and hungry times I had to go over the same ground looking
for guidance and consolation. Usually I found them where I looked,
like hidden, heaven-sent moisture and manna, but not always. That
is all right. Just more and careful searching needed. Now
in the quiet of the morning of the next to last day I can look back
and feel like one who has come through the desert and is facing the
promised land. Praise God, I have been allowed to make the journey
and can look ahead. Now, too, I know not to worry about the diversions,
distractions and detours; the dejection, dissembling and doubt.
It is just the landscape. I know the comforting pillar of prayer
that is always there by day, and by night, fiery hope. And, so
I commend the journey with a prayer for those who make it, who want
to make it, and even those who may not make it: God's blessings
and peace be upon you forever and ever. Amen.
Week 34 and I've dragged it out for two
weeks because I am a slow learner in this world. This retreat has whispered
many things to me: John the Baptist's words, "I must decrease; He must
increase." Less of me and more of Him. Another whisper: "Find your gifts,
count them, accept them for they are yours and yours alone-but by the
way you must share them in time-not that I'm an Indian Giver but the
reason you received without charge is that you must give without charge."
Another whisper: "Albiet, it is mysterious, but I, Yahweh, want to be
praised through your life. Your reward will be that, upon your praise
work, I will infuse your heart with Joy." Another whisper: "I have plenty
of time. Don't hang guilt on yourself. I will give your my Holy Prodder
at just the right time for you to know the exact gift I want you to
share-have faith, be kind, be compassionate and please be patient for
you are mine and I am yours and I love you." Tears of Joy and contentment
run down my face as I realize His Wonderful Love for me in making this
retreat. It ain't over til it's over. I see as through a glass darkly.
Pray for me please to be attentive and act on His Plan when the time
comes. Sometimes I am a little lazy and selfish.
I am on the 34th. week of the retreat.
It has been long. I really enjoyed the daily reflections pages
they gave great me insight. This retreat has brought me closer
to God in many ways and has made me seek more in the Gospel's.
I want to thank all who have made this retreat on line possible. To
summarize my feeling's for this retreat Spiritual Exercise #234 has
to answer my feeling I now have for God. May God bless you all
and may peace and love be in your hearts.
I just want to share a big thank-you. This
is my last day of the last week of the retreat, and it took me
considerably longer than 34 weeks to get through. This retreat has taken
me through major life changes, disappointments and readjustments.
The greatest grace I received from the Lord through this retreat was
that my focus was continually renewed - am I grateful in all things?
God is good. I trust that there will be more helps from other quarters
for me now that this retreat is over. I pray that my fellow travellers
on this internet journey will persevere, and allow God to cleanse and
renew them. Shalom.
It has been almost another year since I started
this retreat. Though I have not returned to this page for some time,
I read the Daily Reflections before I start my day at the office. Work
has been especially stressful the past couple of months, and I must
confess that I was feeling sorry for myself. This morning as I rode
the train (the 'light rail' in Denver, Colorado), however, it was occurring
to me how blessed I have been all my life. Then, as if to punctuate
those thoughts, I looked out the window to the East and saw one of the
most beautiful sunrises ever! Dark clouds low on the horizon were being
turned bright red by the rising sun, and a sense of peace and joy filled
my heart. I thank God for all His gifts to me and rejoice in this day,
knowing full well my own fickleness and vulnerability to 'dark' times.
The darkness will return, I know, yet I also know that if I stick with
my prayer, it too will pass and one day I will know the fullness of
God's love -- if only I will hang on. Lord, help me. Week 34
- and counting. |