“Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.”
Matthew 26:21
Today’s gospel is a most intimate scene. Jesus and his closest followers gather around the table for Passover. This family ritual was likely a cherished part of their Jewish tradition, and now Jesus and his followers celebrate as a family. As they eat, they roll up the bread and bitter herbs and dip it into dishes of the traditional sauce. Jesus, who shares the same dish with Judas Iscariot, announces that one of his closest friends at that table will betray him.
Judas Iscariot is usually portrayed as a dark and murky figure, one who represents evil and betrayal. It’s easier to keep him in that caricature, because it’s more comfortable if we think that Judas is completely different from us. If he is that evil and that traitorous, we can move him to a different level and never have to face the ways we have betrayed Jesus in our own lives.
On a trip to New York in 2005 I attended a remarkable play that ran only a few weeks. The Last Days of Judas Iscariot was loosely staged as a trial for Judas. In the course of the trial, witnesses were called and a case presented to a jury. This time, Judas was not portrayed as cartoon of evil. He was a real, human being and his friend Jesus referred to him as “my heart.” But things went wrong and Judas made some disastrous decisions.
In a powerful moment at the end of the trial, at the end of the play, a desperate and furious Judas confronts Jesus, demanding to know where Jesus was when Judas himself needed saving. Judas screams wildly at Jesus, accusing him of healing and helping everyone else. Jesus even forgave Peter! Why didn’t he stop Judas from betraying Jesus? From hanging himself?
After he finishes his emotional speech, Judas turns inward, sitting in a deaf and blind silence. He has withdrawn from everyone and everything. In the last moments of the play, Judas is empty and despairing and unable to see anything - even Jesus who is right in front of him. Judas can no longer feel the healing touch of his friend as Jesus silently and lovingly washes the feet of Judas, his beloved betrayer.
There are times all of us betray Jesus. We don’t have lives that are as honest as we want. We gossip and spread stories, stories that “won’t really hurt anyone.” We spend too many minutes in church evaluating the dress or beliefs of others. We refuse to forgive those who have wronged us, and we carry our un-forgiving anger like a badge of honor. We speak to our spouses and family members sharply and without the extra love and care that their role in our lives deserves.
Judas’ worst decision was believing he could not be forgiven. All of us are forgiven, always. Jesus loves us with our full range of sins. We forget because we focus on ourselves and our sins, rather than on Jesus. We can get wrapped up in our own guilt and our own sense of the importance of our sins. We become blind to Jesus kneeling next to us, washing our feet and loving us from the deepest part of his heart.
Maureen McCann Waldron
The most important part of my life is my family – Jim my husband of 47 years and our two children. Our daughter Katy, a banker here in Omaha, and her husband John, have three wonderful children: Charlotte, Daniel and Elizabeth Grace. Our son Jack and his wife, Ellie, have added to our joy with their sons, Peter and Joseph.
I think family life is an incredible way to find God, even in (or maybe I should say, especially in) the most frustrating or mundane moments.
I am a native of the East Coast after graduating in 1971 from Archbishop John Carroll High School in suburban Philadelphia. I graduated from Creighton University in 1975 with a degree in Journalism and spent most of the next 20 years in corporate public relations in Omaha. I returned to Creighton in the 1990s and completed a master’s degree in Christian Spirituality in 1998.
As our children were growing up, my favorite times were always family dinners at home when the four of us would talk about our days. But now that our kids are gone from home, my husband and I have rediscovered how nice it is to have a quiet dinner together. I also have a special place in my heart for family vacations when the kids were little and four of us were away from home together. It’s a joy to be with my growing family.
Writing a Daily Reflection is always a graced moment, because only with God’s help could I ever write one. I know my own life is hectic, disjointed and imperfect and I know most of us have lives like that. I usually write from that point of view and I always seem to find some sentence, some word in the readings that speaks right to me, in all of my imperfection. I hope that whatever I write is in some way supportive of others.
It’s an incredibly humbling experience to hear from someone who was touched by something I wrote. Whether the note is from someone across campus or across the world, it makes me realize how connected we are all in our longing to grow closer to God.
