Just as John the Baptist was not recognized for who he really was and killed, so will Jesus not be recognized and killed. James, John and Peter have just witnessed Jesus in his transfigured state and still didn’t get it - wanting to build three shelters and make this glorious revelation last. Jesus has been trying to prepare his disciples for his death, which must occur before his resurrection into that transformed state his apostles have just witnessed in the transfiguration. The apostles want only the dessert, not the desert!
Those moments of awe and closeness to Jesus in my life are the times I want to hang onto. I want to build a shelter for them in my memory and have them before me always. I want dessert. Yet Jesus patiently, lovingly prepares me for the reality of necessary suffering, times of his seeming absence, the necessary hardships of life. The desert. Yet I still cling to the memory of the blessing of his presence and do not surrender totally to the times of darkness, but rather hope in the remembrance of his triumph, his resurrection, his promises be with me always. God’s promise to sing for me as one sings at festivals, to tenderly place me at his cheek as one does a child, to write my name on the palm of his hand. Yes, there will be suffering, but I cling to him and hope that eventually the clouds will part and reveal him. I will know him as he is.
How often I fail to recognize Jesus in the people I was raised to turn away from, in the crosses of my life, in the invitations to give of my time, talent, such as it is, my treasure. I fail to recognize him in the times of darkness and his seeming absence.
Maybe that darkness is but the shadow cast by his total closeness, like the hen who gathers her chicks in the shadow of her wings.
Suzanne Braddock
Creighton University and I are old friends, first as a medical resident in a program shared with The University of Nebraska then forty plus years as a parishioner at St John’s, the campus church. Now retired from a gratifying but busy medical practice I enjoy the quiet hours and nature.
Writing these reflections is a challenge and a grace, bringing me closer to the meaning of the Scriptures and the love God wants us to understand.
