In today’s reading, Joseph is called a righteous man. This description of who he is sets the stage for how he proceeds when he hears that Mary, his betrothed, is pregnant. The text does not tell us how long Joseph wrestled with the different ways to respond to the news, but we can imagine how he learned about the pregnancy and the issues he struggled with before the angel of the Lord visited him.
As the day nears its end, Joseph steps back to survey the chair he is making. Smiling, he whispers, “It’s almost finished, it will last a lifetime. Maybe two lifetimes, if he gives it to his son.” Looking up from his handywork, Joseph notices Mary’s father approaching. He greeted Joachim, offered him a cup of water, and a place to sit in the shade. The two men sit quietly for a few minutes until Joachim is ready to speak.
“I have something I need to tell you, Joseph. Mary came to us this morning, saying she is pregnant. I can see from your face that your reaction is similar to our immediate response. But Mary is our beloved daughter, so we listened carefully without judgment. She explained that the Angel Gabriel visited her. She has conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph, this child is the promised savior of our people! We believe her. Joseph, we know Mary loves you, and she is a woman of deep faith. She would not break her betrothal vows, nor would she ever betray God. I know this is not how you expected to start your marriage, but I beg you to take her as your wife. I will leave you with your thoughts, but I will come back tomorrow so we can talk further.”
In Joseph’s time, religious and cultural norms were intertwined. To violate the law was to sin against God. Members of the community might assume Joseph was the father of Mary’s child, thus damaging his reputation and disgracing his family. He might be disinherited or shunned. He could lose his standing in the synagogue, or his business might suffer – righteous people, including family members, did not associate with sinners and tax collectors.
There were similar consequences for Mary and her family. If Joachim told Joseph that Mary’s child was the fulfillment of the prophecies, he would have realized that the ultimate punishment, death by stoning, would kill Mary and the promised savior.
Although we cannot know exactly what Joseph considered before reaching a decision, as a righteous man, we can assume he turned to God. He might have carried on a conversation with God, lamented the situation, asked God to change it, or asked God for help in some other way.
We do not know how long he pondered, but the text tells us that he chose to balance adherence to the law and acting with mercy (yet unwilling to expose her to shame, Joseph decided to divorce her quietly). I also hear in the text that God gave Joseph the freedom to decide. Once he chose to act with mercy, God sent an angel to reassure him that he was following God’s will.
In our cultural context, we too can find ourselves facing a dilemma. It can arise from within our work environment, perhaps it is a sensitive family issue, or something happening within our society. Although the ultimate consequences might not be as serious as those Jeosph faced, we can still struggle to decide. We might feel compelled to respond, but there is no clear right answer. Even a decision not to choose can result in negative consequences, so how do we move forward?
Can Joseph be a model for how to proceed? From the text, it seems reasonable to me that he followed something similar to Ignatius’ rules for discernment. First, he learned about the situation. Next, he considered various choices and their consequences. As a righteous man, he brought the dilemma to God and may have pondered it further. Then, he chose how to proceed, leaving room to hear God’s response (went to bed) before taking action. Finally, he trusted God’s voice and acted upon the angel’s message, Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife.
Joseph’s “yes” to taking Mary as his wife is an essential part of the Christmas story. He is an example of a “servant leader,” putting her welfare ahead of his own, and of what can happen when one person fully trusts and follows God’s will.
Questions to ponder: What do you hear in this reading? How does Joseph’s decision to act with mercy inform how you might proceed?
Gladyce Janky
I joined the School of Pharmacy and Health Profession as a chaplain in 2015, subsequently working in the Law and Graduate Schools and Heider College of Business. I continued working with distance graduate students after moving to Sun City, AZ, in 2021. I transitioned to my current life phase in July 2023, when I retired. I am a graduate of the CSP program with two master’s degrees and hold certificates in the History of the Ignatian Tradition and Spiritual Direction and Directed Retreats.
Writing reflections helps me break open the transformative power of scripture. The message is alive and relevant to me when I put myself into the story. Jesus is not just “back there.” He is here accompanying me. I share what I write with others to invite them to listen to how God is inviting them to greater spiritual freedom.
