Moses is so frustrated with the people that he throws down the stone tablets of the Law which God had just given him and shatters them. Moses has been away for a while and the people got restless, impatient, selfish. They wanted a god NOW. So they built one out of all their gold pieces. Of course, Moses was furious, being impatient with their impatience, destroying the Law God had given him for the people.
Wow. We could spend all day thinking about ways we are impatient, with nearly everything -- with toast, with other drivers, with people at work, with family, with ourselves, with God. It doesn’t take much self-awareness and honesty to admit that our desire, our demand, that things work faster, even the very way we want them to work, quickly move to judgments, and eventually to anger and division. The whole collection of things which upset us too often tend to build up into a pile of frustration, even hostility. When it gets bad, we stomp around and bark at other people. At its very worst, God gets very far away. We can become the air traffic controller of the world. It’s nothing then to throw God’s ways to the ground in our frustration with everyone and everything.
Jesus says that his grace, his presence within us and among us -- the Kingdom of heaven-- is like mustard seed. It is small and unimpressive -- easy to underestimate -- perhaps, easy to judge as not worth much. Well, Jesus seems to say, don’t underestimate mustard seed, or my grace in your life. It might look small, but it can really grow.
Jesus says his grace -- the Kingdom of heaven -- is like the way yeast works. It gets kneaded in and disappears -- seems insubstantial -- doesn’t seem to matter. Jesus seems to say, don’t ignore what you can’t see -- don’t fall victim to the mistake of not taking yeast, or my grace in your life, seriously. You may not be able to see it, but it does its work of raising the dough and our spirits beyond our imagination.
So, what do we do to treat the infection of impatience? Jesus would suggest that we have hope - and hope without impressive evidence. The grace of God might be small or slow, but it comes with a guarantee. Trust it. Healing comes. Sometimes it takes a dose of humility, but patience will flower into trust and reliance upon God.
Will everyone and everything be better and do what I want, right away? No, but we can smile again and proclaim our trust that, the Kingdom of God is at hand. And that will make all the difference in the world!
Rev. Andy Alexander, SJ
I was born and raised in Omaha, 8 blocks from where I now work. My parents were very involved in the Jesuit parish here and were outstanding examples of a commitment to service for my sister and me as we were growing up. I entered the Jesuits in 1966, and was ordained in 1979.
I love giving the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius, in any adaptation. One of my greatest privileges was to serve as pastor at Gesu Parish in Milwaukee for 8 years before coming here. The community there taught me about church, and the relationship between the worship which says who we are and the ministry to which it sends us.
One of the privileges of being back in Omaha was helping my mother care for my father, the last four and a half years of his life. Both of my parents have died and are enjoying the embrace of the Lord which they taught me about all of their lives.
When I write these reflections, I try to imagine the people who will be reading them. I try to imagine what ways I might be in solidarity with people struggling in any way. Then I read the readings. Then I ask, “what is the good news that we need to hear?” Something usually just comes, to me.
It is tremendously consoling to receive mail from people around the world, simply expressing gratitude for a reflection. Most of the time, it is enough to know, from the numbers, that people are finding this site to be a helpful spiritual support.
