Over the past few months, I was humbled by the way many of you have reached out personally, sharing how some of my previous reflections on family and parenting have touched your hearts. You’ve opened up about the deep generational gaps between grandparents, parents, and grandchildren today—gaps filled with confusion, frustration, and sometimes grief. Your honesty has reminded me how profoundly this struggle is felt in many homes and hearts. No doubt, parenting today feels more complex than ever. With shifting values, constant noise from social media, and generational differences, both parents and children often struggle to understand one another.
In today’s reading from Genesis, we see a family caught in deception and favoritism. Isaac’s desire to bless Esau is disrupted by Rebekah and Jacob’s plan. Their actions reveal a family divided by fear, expectation, and the need for honor, prestige, and acceptance. Here, we are reminded that even in families blessed by God, brokenness, favoritism, and misunderstanding can creep in. Today’s parents and children face similar struggles—trust, identity, expectations, and the desire for inheritance, validation, blessings, and love. Parents, like Isaac, are doing their best—sometimes without full awareness of their children’s hearts. Children, like Jacob, may feel unseen or pressured to become someone they’re not, just to be accepted or meet their personal agendas, which their parents are incapable of grasping.
It is in this sense that Jesus’ words in the Gospel could make good sense: “New wine must be poured into fresh wineskins.” Parenting and family life must evolve with grace. Children completely disregarding family values, traditions, and parental guidance, and parents excessively holding on to their rigid roles and non-negotiable expectations, can cause more harm than good. Christ’s appeal for new wine into new skins, therefore, calls for both parents and children to renewal—a willingness to accommodate, care, and grow—both within and together as a family. The brokenness is real, but so is God’s presence in it. While Psalm 135 reminds us that the Lord is good and chooses us despite our flaws, let us remember that God worked through Jacob’s story, not because of the deception (which is ours), but because of His love that redeems us, despite our messy family dynamics.
- In what ways might I need to listen more closely to the voice of Christ in my family relationships?
- How can I create a “new wineskin” in me in the way I relate to my parents or my children today?
Rev. Rashmi Fernando, SJ
I am a Jesuit Priest hailing from the island nation of Sri Lanka. I relocated to Creighton University, Omaha, NE, US, in 2023 to pursue doctoral studies in Interdisciplinary Leadership in Education (Ed.D.), with my Dissertation in Practice (DIP) focusing on ‘global citizenship’. Besides my doctoral studies, I work as a chaplain at the School of Dentistry (SOD) at Creighton University, an online faculty at ‘Jesuit Worldwide Learning (JWL)-Higher Education in the Margins’, and an author at ‘Colombo Telegraph’ and a few other mainstream newspapers in Sri Lanka, making my unique spiritual, intellectual, and interdisciplinary contribution toward creating a better world.
My myriad life events, years of experiences as a Jesuit, and international exposure to various socio-economic and educational-cultural milieus have confirmed my belief that life is not always black or white; it’s often grey. Writing these reflections, therefore, helps me grapple with those grey areas and help others do the same. In this endeavor, a couplet from Helen Steiner Rice’s poem, which I have slightly modified and embraced since childhood, holds particular significance: “Life is a fabric, I weave it with tender care; Upon the loom of my life, my pattern is indeed rare.” As much as I treasure this rarity in me, I enjoy acknowledging and appreciating it in others.
