Over the past few months, I was humbled by the way many of you have reached out personally, sharing how some of my previous reflections on family and parenting have touched your hearts. You’ve opened up about the deep generational gaps between grandparents, parents, and grandchildren today—gaps filled with confusion, frustration, and sometimes grief. Your honesty has reminded me how profoundly this struggle is felt in many homes and hearts. No doubt, parenting today feels more complex than ever. With shifting values, constant noise from social media, and generational differences, both parents and children often struggle to understand one another.
In today’s reading from Genesis, we see a family caught in deception and favoritism. Isaac’s desire to bless Esau is disrupted by Rebekah and Jacob’s plan. Their actions reveal a family divided by fear, expectation, and the need for honor, prestige, and acceptance. Here, we are reminded that even in families blessed by God, brokenness, favoritism, and misunderstanding can creep in. Today’s parents and children face similar struggles—trust, identity, expectations, and the desire for inheritance, validation, blessings, and love. Parents, like Isaac, are doing their best—sometimes without full awareness of their children’s hearts. Children, like Jacob, may feel unseen or pressured to become someone they’re not, just to be accepted or meet their personal agendas, which their parents are incapable of grasping.
It is in this sense that Jesus’ words in the Gospel could make good sense: “New wine must be poured into fresh wineskins.” Parenting and family life must evolve with grace. Children completely disregarding family values, traditions, and parental guidance, and parents excessively holding on to their rigid roles and non-negotiable expectations, can cause more harm than good. Christ’s appeal for new wine into new skins, therefore, calls for both parents and children to renewal—a willingness to accommodate, care, and grow—both within and together as a family. The brokenness is real, but so is God’s presence in it. While Psalm 135 reminds us that the Lord is good and chooses us despite our flaws, let us remember that God worked through Jacob’s story, not because of the deception (which is ours), but because of His love that redeems us, despite our messy family dynamics.
- In what ways might I need to listen more closely to the voice of Christ in my family relationships?
- How can I create a “new wineskin” in me in the way I relate to my parents or my children today?
Rev. Rashmi Fernando, SJ
I am a Jesuit priest and educator from the island nation of Sri Lanka, historically known as Serendib or Ceylon. I have been blessed to receive Jesuit formation and higher education across Asia, Europe, and America. Most recently, I earned my Doctorate in Interdisciplinary Leadership in Education (Ed.D.) from Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska, USA, where my dissertation explored global citizenship through the lens of undergraduates’ study-abroad experiences. Deeply convinced of the power of positive narratives that education can create, I believe it holds the key to addressing the ‘care-crises’ that weigh upon humanity and our shared ‘common home,’ while also emancipating individuals and communities. In addition to serving as an online faculty member with Jesuit Worldwide Learning (JWL)—Jesuit Higher Education in the Margins— to students in Africa and the Middle East, I am currently assigned to Loyola Marymount University, Los Angeles, CA, USA.
Determined to make a distinctive, active, and intellectually grounded contribution through Jesuit higher education, I am deeply passionate about reading, writing, and teaching on global citizenship, interdisciplinary leadership, and justice and peacebuilding. In this spirit, I hold close the words of Helen Steiner Rice: “Life is a fabric, weave it with tender care; Upon the loom of life, your pattern is rare.” While I cherish the uniqueness that defines my own life and journey, I am equally committed and eager to recognizing, celebrating, and defending the uniqueness of others—believing that true beauty is revealed where there is unity in diversity, and diversity in unity.
Keep smiling—because God loves you always! I mean, ALWAYS!
