Jesus’ parable about not judging others, illustrated by removing the wooden beam in our own eye before we notice the splinter in our brother’s eye, really hits the mark. When we point the finger of blame at another, do we notice that our four fingers are pointing right back at us? Isn’t it also true that what we criticize in others is what we really don’t like about ourselves? How can we see clearly if our vision is blocked by a large obstruction?
How we treat others is how we will be treated, and sometimes the person treating (mistreating) us is ourselves!
I believe forgiveness, compassion and understanding are at play here - to our brother and to ourselves. On a recent family get-together old memories, even old hurts, were brought up. The usual thing that can happen in family gatherings. In a way these hurts can be a form of violence rather than forgiveness, understanding or compassion. One of us suggested we practice communicating as described in Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD’s book - you guessed it - Nonviolent Communication. I am reading it now and find it immensely helpful in describing in concrete terms non hurtful ways of communicating. No splinters or wooden beams, just clear and nonjudgemental ways of sharing your feelings in helpful and kind ways.
Our culture, our families, even our professions can emphasize the detection of what’s wrong, out of place, needing correction. Let’s examine our way of using kindness and nonviolent communication - avoiding blame and hurt no matter how subtle. Let’s follow Jesus.
Suzanne Braddock
Creighton University and I are old friends, first as a medical resident in a program shared with The University of Nebraska then forty plus years as a parishioner at St John’s, the campus church. Now retired from a gratifying but busy medical practice I enjoy the quiet hours and nature.
Writing these reflections is a challenge and a grace, bringing me closer to the meaning of the Scriptures and the love God wants us to understand.
