This is my first time writing a reflection for Online Ministries. I thought what should I say that will be wise and helpful to those reading this? Then I thought, well what do the readers and retreatants want and need? It didn’t take long for the Holy Spirit to gently nudge me and remind me that neither what I want nor what those reading this want is what is important, it is what God wants. A very regular and simple prayer I say is, “Lord, please let me be what you need me to be.”
In the gospel today, Jesus tells of those who claim to act in his name. He wants us to understand that it is more than doing and saying your actions are for God. How often do we stop and ask “Jesus, what do you want of me?” As a human living amongst other humans, it is easy to do and say things that are good, but my intent isn’t always genuine or honest. Jesus’s words “I never knew you” were painful to read, because God knows me completely. It is not Jesus, those individuals were deceiving, but themselves. They were not acting for the kingdom of God but trying to earn their place in it. They were led by their own wants and not by God’s.
When I pray to be or do or say what God needs of me, it is not for me. I am not asking for a reward; I am trying to put myself aside and listen to what God wants of me. In those moments, there is no deception, there is freedom. I know myself as clearly as God knows me. Those moments are often short and sometimes not memorable, but they come again and again, and the time in between them is shorter and shorter. When God’s will and my will are the same.
God, thank you for the ability to be what you need me to be, when I remember to ask.
Amy Turbes
Amy Turbes is a spiritual director and has worked at Creighton University for almost 20 years in University Relations.
As a true extrovert, Amy loves connecting people dots. She believes in the six degrees of separation rule and will make sure to figure out how you are connected or how she can connect you to someone. This part of her personality is genetic and has led to fun conversations with strangers.
