Lord, if You wish, You can make me clean
This line in the Gospel really stood out to me. How many times have I prayed with this in mind? While the leper is asking to be cleaned of his disease, we often ask to be made clean, to be made new – in reality, I consider that every time we proclaim in mass that I am not worthy to receive You, but say the word and my soul will be healed. When we are crying out to God, it is with the belief that God can fix everything if He wanted to. I remember clearly the day my father died. I was awakened by hearing my mother call his name in panic and then call for my sister. I reached for my Novena to St. Ann and prayed the most fervently I ever have in my life. The situation didn’t change but even at that young age, there was no resentment certainly sadness at the loss but no blaming God. I think that is because from I long as I can remember asking for something in prayer was always with the declaration (explicitly or implied) Thy Will Be Done. We will ask and accept whatever the answer with the acceptance that the outcome is what it should be. I may not always understand (or like) the outcome at the time or even ever, yet I always knew on some level it was meant to be.
One of my favorite songs is Even If by MercyMe. The words explain this concept of praying and accepting well:
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
This idea of unanswered prayers is sometimes difficult to accept in the short term but inevitably turns out to be exactly what it should. It is challenging to accept some of the events that happen to us or to others. Sometimes it seems unfathomable that some things are “allowed” to happen. How can an all-powerful God allow such evil to happen? I certainly don’t have an answer but I do know that everything that has happened to me, shaped me and led me to decisions that were exactly what I should do or where I should be. That doesn’t mean there weren’t times when I felt broken by the circumstances yet truly I would/could say, God has never let me down before and I have no reason to believe that He will now.
Nancy Shirley
I returned to Creighton in December 2003 having previously taught at Creighton from 1980-1989 and involved in many campus activities including ILAC and CEC House. Since returning, assumed Faculty and Administrative roles on both Omaha and Phoenix campus prior to retirement August 2022. Served as the Nursing Director for ILAC from 2013 – 2021 and as a reservist in the Army Nurse Corps for 23 years.
I am a grateful child of God, wife, mother, nana, and retired nursing professor. My husband and I met at church and have walked this extraordinary journey together experiencing CEC in 2004 and growing more committed to our beliefs. In addition to my husband, I am blessed with a wonderful daughter and son, who in turn are blessed with wonderful partners. My son’s four children bring us all endless joy and delight. My daughter’s daughter (our youngest grandchild in Phoenix) has been a true gift beyond description. In early 2023, I became a Great-grandma!! I am now retired faculty at Creighton having taught nursing here from 1980-1989 and returned “home” in 2003 to teach nursing at all levels and to administer the undergraduate program on both campuses until 2022. My mantra has been My life is God’s gift to me; what I do with my life is my gift to God!!
Now in retirement, I appreciate more and more all the ways that I find God in my life especially through my family and garden and through music and song. I find listening to Christian music daily in the car keeps the right message in my head. It is, indeed, a blessing to be part of this ministry. Writing reflections is an opportunity to ponder the readings deeply in my heart and to share those musings and some music that further touches my soul. I am a recipient of God’s grace with each one I write.
