This Gospel story starts out so beautifully: Jesus has just washed the feet of his 12 apostles, calling them friends. They’re having dinner together. Then Jesus, their leader, master, teacher, testifies that one friend among them will betray him. They are confused by who he means. Then Jesus tells them that the betrayer is the one to whom he will give a dunked morsel of bread. He proceeds to hand it to Judas. And tells Judas to do what he must do quickly. Judas exits. Then he tells the apostles that the Son of Man is glorified and God is glorified in him. If I were there, I would be confused, so confused. Betrayal? Encouragement to do it quickly? How does this bring glory? Betrayal bringing glory? But the apostles must be somewhat used to Jesus turning things on their heads. He has been a religious teacher eating with sinners, and he’s a Jewish carpenter who talked to a Samaritan woman, his parables showed a father offering radical forgiveness to his son when he squandered his inheritance, and the list goes on. I’m sure the apostles’ thoughts were always being stretched and reshaped by what Jesus said, did, and just who He was.
Then Jesus tells the apostles that he must go, and they cannot follow now. Peter begs the question, why, and then claims that he will lay down his life for Jesus. But Jesus knows better, and he tells Peter so.
The drama begins with the apostles believing that their dedication, their loyalty, their willingness to follow and lay down their life will be lived out. It’s much like the beginning of each of my days: “I offer you my prayers, works, joys and sufferings of this day….” And then like the apostles, life happens. I encounter people, situations, my own emotions, and even though I committed just that morning to stay with Jesus, I move away and search for safety, convenience, or worse yet, act out of my emotions of frustration, anger, overwhelmed etc. Each of the apostles and ultimately each of us must make a choice between staying with Jesus with our hearts, minds, and words, or turning away. It’s hard. We don’t mean to turn away, but habits, emotions, and reactions can so easily take center stage in our lives.
In the midst of this Holy Week, filled with so much emotion, we have the invitation to follow Jesus through it all, to be with Him as he suffers the journey and the agony of the cross. We have the opportunity to stay with Him and receive the love that He pours out to us. We have the opportunity to respond with love and compassion. Can we be present to Jesus through all of this? Can we stay with Him?
Kathy Kemler
I was blessed to serve as the Director of the Creighton University Retreat Center until my retirement in 2025. It was such a gift to see all the graces that flow through the nature-filled space. After a first career in human resources, I attended the Creighton Christian Spirituality Program and received Maasters in Christian Spirituality and a Spiritual Direction Certificate which eventually led me to my work at the Retreat Center in 2021. In retirement, I enjoy continuing my spiritual direction ministry as I accompany others on their spiritual journey and have the honor of hearing how God is working in others’ lives.
I am grateful to participate in the Online Ministries reflections as the Living Word continues to speak directly into my life and others’ lives who seek God’s love, care and wisdom.
