The words, let it go, trust, pray, take deep breaths, be silent and listen are a mantra for me with this week’s readings, especially James 4: 1-10. In this ordinary time it is extraordinary for me as I listen to the news of today, to respond to those who depend on me for support, and try to manage the events of the day. I recognize that I may translate my own fears, anxiety, and uncertainty to others in the form of conflict. Does this transference of feelings into conflict “mask” the “battle occurring within myself?”
If there is conflict in my life what is the conflict really about? James 4:1-10 provides insight to self-examine my personal desires and motives for my actions.
I ask the following questions:
Do I manipulate others to achieve my own goals?
Am I critical of others because I want myself to look good?
Am I reactive and defensive because I am embarrassed or ashamed?
Am I inflexible so I can stay in control of the situation? or person?
Am I afraid to ask questions because it makes me vulnerable?
Am I anxious because of fear?
As I wrestle with these thoughts I “hand them over to Jesus.” I say a prayer to let go of my selfishness, fears, jealousy, and anxiety. I know these feelings/emotions get in the way with my prayer life and relationship with Jesus. I pray for strength, a positive attitude, an ability to see everyone as a child of God who has a unique purpose in this world. My day takes on a new meaning and I am grateful.
Cindy Costanzo
I have worked at Creighton University since 2005 as a full-time associate professor in the College of Nursing (CON), graduate school, and College of Professional and Continuing Education (CPCE). In 2023, I transitioned to part-time as a adjunct associate professor in CPCE within the Doctorate in Interdisciplinary Education department. I love working with doctoral students as they journey toward their terminal degree.
Reading and writing reflections for this ministry augments my daily meditation and allows me to grow closer to Jesus. Spending this time in prayer and meditation over the past several years has transformed me in ways I am forever grateful.
