Today’s first reading from the Book of Peter spoke to me in a number of ways. The greeting of Beloved (and repeated later) immediately caught my attention – we are loved. Simple yet profound -- to be loved by God, being a beloved child of God is the very basis for our existence. In all our frailty, faults and missteps, we are still loved. We are shown mercy and grace over and over again. Grace that is not earned or deserved but given freely because we are beloved.
This week, I was attending a Project Hope presentation and discussion at my church, and love was again mentioned, this time as a foundational piece of our faith and discipleship. St. Augustine was mentioned and his theology about love and beloved. Clearly, this is what I was supposed to be exploring and writing about for today. I knew I had to dig deeper into St. Augustine and try to understand about being beloved from his perspective. I dusted off my professor hat and dove in.
According to the internet, St. Augustine defines love as a binding force between a lover and a beloved, essential to human identity and designed to find its rest in God. In a perspective new to me, he models the Trinity as a perfect community of love: God the Father (Lover), God the Son (Beloved), and God the Holy Spirit (the Love shared between them). Proper love (caritas) orders all affections toward God, while misplaced love (cupiditas) seeks satisfaction in transient things. As an aside for those in nursing, I remember that Dr. Jean Watson who proposed a theory on caring as a basis for nursing practice/education used the term Caritas. I never knew the connection!
St. Augustine suggests that humans (created in God’s image) find their fullness only when engaging in this dynamic of selfless love. He further argues that we must love God above all else (caritas) and love earthly things only in relation to Him. It makes sense now why this would be discussed as part of discipleship.
Some other aspects of St. Augustine’s love include the concept of restless hearts and love as knowledge. Our hearts are restless until they rest in God according to Augustine. I think about where I was 30 years, life was pretty good but I kept feeling something lacking. I describe it to people as being spirit weary. The earthly aspects were fine, but I was not fulfilled by these. My soul was aching. Over 15 years prior, I had discovered some of that peace when I was exposed to Jesuit education and charisms when I started teaching at Creighton. Finding God in all Things and in Men and Women, For and With Others, resonated with my most basic beliefs. The connections were real and the mission trips life-changing but it had faded when I left that environment and became entrenched in another environment that I thought was my “forever home.” When I shared with a friend that I was seeking that feeling, that peace I had in the Dominican Republic with my students, she recommended I attend Sacred Heart Church. I found a church that filled my soul with music and love in way that no other had. When we rest in God we fulfill our human longing for God as the ultimate beloved. When that is foundational, everything builds and satisfies, and that love is a driving force in Augustine’s terminology.
I must also share that a few years later, when the work environment that I thought was my forever home was disrupted, I remembered wondering what God’s plan was for me. I shared with my children that God had never let me down in the past, and I was sure He would not then. The disruption led me back to Creighton, where I concluded the last two decades of my career again emerged in Jesuit charisms and mission. On the day I interviewed, I arrived early and told myself if I could find a parking spot (a rarity on most days), I would visit St John’s Church to pray the novena I was making. Someone pulled out of a spot right in front of me! As I entered St. John’s, the light filtered through the beautiful stained-glass windows and I heard welcome Home!
Considering love as knowledge, Augustine theology would imply that truly loving someone or something requires deep knowledge of it. I think that’s why as so many of us age, we delve deeper into the Bible and spiritual readings to more deeply understand our relationship with God and our need to connect.
Perhaps this reads as more of a classroom presentation than a reflection and thank you for indulging me. The need for this deeper understanding is what drives my ability to reflect – I need that knowledge to put perspective on my life. I leave you with one last quote from St. Augustine – his most famous quote on beauty:
Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you!
The Institute of Catholic Culture asserts that it reflects a spiritual awakening to divine beauty, describing it as a transcendent force that calls to the soul and offers peace. I suppose that is what happened to me when I attended mass on Thanksgiving Day, 1997 and found peace for my soul. While I have listened many times to the song O Beauty, Ever Ancient (the link is below) by Father Roc O’Connor, I never really understood its meaning until now. I am a Beloved Child of God!!
Nancy Shirley
I returned to Creighton in December 2003 having previously taught at Creighton from 1980-1989 and involved in many campus activities including ILAC and CEC House. Since returning, assumed Faculty and Administrative roles on both Omaha and Phoenix campus prior to retirement August 2022. Served as the Nursing Director for ILAC from 2013 – 2021 and as a reservist in the Army Nurse Corps for 23 years.
I am a grateful child of God, wife, mother, nana, and retired nursing professor. My husband and I met at church and have walked this extraordinary journey together experiencing CEC in 2004 and growing more committed to our beliefs. In addition to my husband, I am blessed with a wonderful daughter and son, who in turn are blessed with wonderful partners. My son’s four children bring us all endless joy and delight. My daughter’s daughter (our youngest grandchild in Phoenix) has been a true gift beyond description. In early 2023, I became a Great-grandma!! I am now retired faculty at Creighton having taught nursing here from 1980-1989 and returned “home” in 2003 to teach nursing at all levels and to administer the undergraduate program on both campuses until 2022. My mantra has been My life is God’s gift to me; what I do with my life is my gift to God!!
Now in retirement, I appreciate more and more all the ways that I find God in my life especially through my family and garden and through music and song. I find listening to Christian music daily in the car keeps the right message in my head. It is, indeed, a blessing to be part of this ministry. Writing reflections is an opportunity to ponder the readings deeply in my heart and to share those musings and some music that further touches my soul. I am a recipient of God’s grace with each one I write.
