Am I following…?
I will never forget the opportunity I turned down.
Our son was driving halfway across the country. The car was packed, he in the driver’s seat, arm resting on the windowsill, beaming his usual expansive smile, a twinkle of adventure in his eyes. As always, he had planned an interesting route. Halfway out the driveway, he reversed and roared back in. His head out the window, beaming, “Mom, why don’t you come with me! It will be fun! Three or four days out, and you can fly home. Come on – what’s keeping you?” I knew immediately how badly I wanted to go with him. I am not spontaneous. Begin with him was/is always an adventure of the highest order! “But I am not packed.” My head and heart were swirling with desire, but I just could not take the leap and go with him. His eyes coaxing – I still could not go with him. I watched him leave full of joy and adventure. By the time he got to the end of the block and turned the corner, I regretted not going with him. I missed an adventure and an opportunity. I missed precious time with him.
Twenty years later, I got a second chance! “Mom, let’s go on a trip together!” Without a second’s hesitation, “yes, I’d love to.” “You sure you really will go?” He remembered. I did go. We had a fabulous time together.
Today’s gospel reading has always been challenging for me. Before the men could commit to “follow” Jesus, one wanted to “…go first to bury my father.”
And another: “I will follow you Lord, but first let me say farewell to my family at home.”
Reasonable requests, especially considering the society of the time. It was expected of a son to care for his widowed mother. Jesus knew this.
To the first man, Jesus says, “…you go and proclaim the Kingdom of God.” And to the second man: “No one who…looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God.”
These words of Jesus sound very harsh. Where is the Jesus who speaks of mercy and demonstrates compassion? The Jesus I am used to hearing. In the reading just a few days ago, we heard of Jesus “moved with pity” (Luke 7), raising the son of a widowed woman so her son could care for her.
Harsh and callous – not the Jesus I know. Thinking through this reading made no sense to me. Praying with these verses opened my ears and heart– I began to hear Jesus differently.
Possibly, these verses are about the urgency of the Kingdom and the spiritual family of Jesus. Numerous times throughout scripture, we hear references to who is part of Jesus’ family. “…those who do the will of my Father…are (His) Jesus’ brothers, sisters and mother.” (Matthew 12:48-50). This verse, among others, gives meaning to spiritual kinship over blood relationship. “Follow me”
“The kingdom is at hand,” and I want you with me. We have to be about it now. Make up your mind. Possibly harsh and callous, but carries a sense of urgency and opportunity. Jesus calls and will gently reveal my personal role in the building of the Kingdom. Will I take this opportunity or not? So….
Am I following…or not?
Joan Blandin Howard
After working and teaching at Creighton for many years, I am officially retired, but hardly so. Having 5 adult children, in-laws, and 11 grandchildren I keep pretty busy! My husband and I spend hours in our garden planting, pruning, dead-heading and of course weeding and mowing! We spend even more time sitting in our garden, delighting in its beauty. The beauty overwhelms me and invities me into a space of en-Joy-ment and gratitude to the Creator and Artist of all. I have much for which to be grateful. I also like to travel, read, write and make art. My ministry of spiritual direction and silent retreats continues.
I count my blessings. You among them.
Initially I thought I was writing for myself. I use the readings as a source of personal prayer. I thoroughly enjoy the time I spend in prayer, study and preparation. The writing seems to be a natural end product. The wonderful e-mails I receive tell me that I am not writing just for me and they reconfirm my faith in the presence of the Lord, who speaks all languages, permeates untold experiences, and surfaces in the most ordinary of daily delights and disturbing distractions. That the Lord would speak through me is a gift I had not anticipated.
I thank you, the reader and fellow pilgrim, for joining us on our journey. God bless us.
