Today’s first reading from Ephesians, often proclaimed at the celebration of Holy Matrimony, presents the union between a man and a woman as a profound mystery of Christ’s love for the Church. Before exchanging marriage vows and rings, one of the three prerequisites that couples agree to abide by is to love and respect one another for the rest of their lives. In a world where family life is increasingly strained by conflict, individualism, competing priorities, and fragile commitments, perhaps the renewal of marriage begins by rediscovering the depth of love and respect.
Just as Christ’s love is not possessive or self-serving but self-giving and for the flourishing of others, Christian Love—within or outside of marriage—asks, “What can I do for you?” Respect adds, “How can I honor your dignity, listen to your voice, and make room for you to become who God calls you to be?” Together, love and respect make our lives a living reflection of Christ’s relationship with the Church. Yet, how easily these promises can be forgotten amid the ordinary struggles of life!
The sacredness of marriage, as well as Christian life itself, is not demonstrated by the absence of challenge and struggles, but by the willingness to face them, grow through them, and remain faithful to one another in love and respect. These become the mustard seed and the leaven spoken in today’s gospel. The mustard seed, though seemingly small and insignificant, grows into a place of shelter, while the leaven quietly transforms the entire batch of dough. So, too, the Kingdom of God grows wherever love becomes a commitment and respect becomes a way of life— in listening without interrupting, apologizing without making excuses, expressing gratitude, sharing responsibilities, and choosing tenderness over resentment.
Hence, let us ask ourselves:
- How faithfully do I live Christ’s conditions of love and respect in my marriage/relationships, especially when doing so demands patience, forgiveness, and sacrifice?
- What small act of love and respect could I practice today to become like a mustard seed of hope and leaven of transformation within my marriage/family?
- What changes do I need to make in my marriage/relationships/daily work-life to become a better leaven and mustard seed, living Christ’s example of love and respect for others?
Rev. Rashmi Fernando, SJ
I am a Jesuit priest and educator from the island nation of Sri Lanka, historically known as Serendib or Ceylon. I have been blessed to receive Jesuit formation and higher education across Asia, Europe, and America. Most recently, I earned my Doctorate in Interdisciplinary Leadership in Education (Ed.D.) from Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska, USA, where my dissertation explored global citizenship through the lens of undergraduates’ study-abroad experiences. Deeply convinced of the power of positive narratives that education can create, I believe it holds the key to addressing the ‘care-crises’ that weigh upon humanity and our shared ‘common home,’ while also emancipating individuals and communities. In addition to serving as an online faculty member with Jesuit Worldwide Learning (JWL)—Jesuit Higher Education in the Margins— to students in Africa and the Middle East, I am currently assigned to Loyola Marymount University, Los Angeles, CA, USA.
Determined to make a distinctive, active, and intellectually grounded contribution through Jesuit higher education, I am deeply passionate about reading, writing, and teaching on global citizenship, interdisciplinary leadership, and justice and peacebuilding. In this spirit, I hold close the words of Helen Steiner Rice: “Life is a fabric, weave it with tender care; Upon the loom of life, your pattern is rare.” While I cherish the uniqueness that defines my own life and journey, I am equally committed and eager to recognizing, celebrating, and defending the uniqueness of others—believing that true beauty is revealed where there is unity in diversity, and diversity in unity.
Keep smiling—because God loves you always! I mean, ALWAYS!
