I can’t say that I have ever been so angry with God that I would rather die than live. But there have been times in my life when I thought I might be better off dead than alive, so I guess that is getting close to the experience Jonah had in the lessons for today. Still, I don’t think I get angry with God for not doing what I want or for treating me more harshly than evil doers. What I am guilty of is just not trusting in God when the going gets tough. I keep having to learn the same lesson that Jonah had to learn. God sends me blessings, then God takes them away. Then I get discouraged and resort to despair, arguing with God that I have reason to feel that way. I feel sorry for myself. I think we all do that. Jonah was certainly feeling sorry for himself and even quite self-righteous. We all do that too.
In those times, like he did with Jonah, God gently puts us in our place and assures us that God alone dispenses judgment, mercy, and blessings. I must keep relearning that I can’t presume my will for my life, or the lives of others is wiser than the wisdom of God. Like Jonah, I am reminded of “my place.” Yet, the lessons for today help me see that “my place” is not one of marginality with God. Like Jonah, my life doesn’t need to be such a drama of give and take, win and lose. It can be one of quiet, trusting, gratitude.
Learning to call on the Lord for mercy, for kindness, and for grace when times get tough is a regular habit cultivated by most of us. But my prayers are often prayers of pleading, of feeling marginalized with God. There is even a bit of that in Psalm 86 today. Like the Psalmist, I recognize the greatness of God and his wondrous deeds and my constant need for mercy and grace. I also seem to need constant uplifting. Yet, I think Jesus is teaching me today to pray a prayer that demonstrates a greater confidence in my relationship with God. It doesn’t have to be such a drama. In the Lord’s prayer, Jesus brings us closer to a God that is holy, but not so overwhelming with grandeur. First, Jesus invites us to address God as Father. That is quite different from the relationship we often have with our God in the Old Testament. Then Jesus invites us to be open to the coming of the Kingdom as a reality that is all around us. We don’t need to plead for our lives to a wondrous God in the glorious heavens. We are invited to trust in a loving and present God who gives us what we need and forgives our sins daily, just as easily as we can forgive the sins of others. To me, the Lord’s prayer is a prayer of guidance for a closer relationship with God. Jesus teaches us a prayer of trust and gratitude for not only an intimate relationship with God, but also with those around us so that we can live free from anxiety. I pray today that I can deepen that relationship by learning to better trust that God.
Barbara Dilly
I came to Creighton in 2000 and retired in 2020. My twenty years of teaching, research and service in the Jesuit tradition enhanced my own life. It was an exciting time of celebration. I loved teaching and interacting with Creighton students because they responded so eagerly to the Ignatian pedagogical emphasis on the development of the whole person. It is this spirit of whole person development and celebration of life that I hope to infuse in my reflection writings.
My academic background is eclectic, preparing me well for the Liberal Arts academic environment at Creighton. I earned my BA in World Arts and Cultures from UCLA in 1988 and my Ph.D. in Comparative Cultures from the University of California, Irvine in 1994. My research focused on rural communities in the American Midwest, Latin America, and Australia. I taught Environmental Anthropology, Qualitative Research Methods, Social and Cultural Theory, and Food Studies courses.
I retired to Shell Rock, a small rural community in Northeast Iowa where I enjoy gardening, cooking, quilting, driving my 65 Impala convertible an my 49 Willys Jeepster. I have lots of fun playing my guitars with friends from the Cedar Valley Acoustic Guitar Association. But most importantly, I am still working to make my community and rural America a better place. I host a community quilt studio and serve on the Mission Board of my church. I also serve as the Climate Committee Chair and on the Executive Board of the Center for Rural Affairs.
