Several years ago, I was invited to be part of a series of strategic plan envisioning sessions at our university. During the opening remarks of our first session, I distinctly remember the advice we were given by our then university president, Fr. Tim Lannon, S.J. He said (and I’m paraphrasing), “In all things you do throughout this process, assume positive intent. You may bump up again one another throughout the process, but in doing so, assume positive intent.” Such wisdom!
As I read the readings for today, I was reminded of Fr. Lannon’s advice. Unfortunately, in our complicated and seemingly ever fractionated world, it’s the opposite that appears to be the norm. Negative intent seems to be our mind’s standard of practice as we watch and judge others. Is this because doing so somehow makes us feel better about our shortcomings? How easy it is for us to ask for (and maybe even demand) forgiveness from others but not extend the same in return. Can we see that this appears to be our modus operandi at home, work, and elsewhere? Why is it so easy to, “see the speck that is in our brother’s [and sister’s] eyes, but do not notice the log that is in our own eye?” (Matthew 7:3-5)
All these questions lead to me wonder, “Do we have a vulnerability problem in our society?” Are we so quick to judge and reluctant to forgive because we are no longer capable of such emotion? Why is it so hard for us to drop our emotional guard and show our true, unpolished and imperfect selves to each other? Forgiveness would seem to demand this of us. But we seem to choose the opposite and assume negative intent in others while at the same time assume others see us in a positive light.
Who among us can serve as a good example for how we should conduct ourselves? Do we look to the news media? Our politicians? Our heroes on the playing field? What about our upper management? Where do we see a person among us who demonstrates the acts of vulnerability and delivers compassion? And, does our culture even want this? Or do we want a posture that is stoic, firm, and certain under all circumstances? Is this what “strength” looks like in our society today? If yes, then where does vulnerability, forgiveness, compassion, and connectedness fit into our ideals of “strength?”
The scene played out for us today in Matthew’s gospel reading seems more like our social norm rather than the exception. In my own life, the community in which we live in is lovely. There are good people at every turn. But despite the good nature of everyone there seems to be an assuming wave of negative intent creeping into our midst. Perhaps it comes from watching too much of the nightly news, reading too many commentaries, or watching too many social media posts that seemingly have the primary intent to be critical of who and what is not like us. Regardless, my community has an ever-increasing presence of neighbors seeing the “not so perfect” nature of each other - without regard for their own imperfections. If “strength” in our society looks like perfection, stoicism, and “certainty by order” than perhaps we need a new definition for strength.
When a servant falls down and gives homage to his master, this hardly seems like a demonstration of vulnerability. It seems more like groveling to get what you want. Vulnerability, it would seem, looks more like recognizing our own failings and admitting to ourselves that our own failings (regardless of context) are not different from the failings we see in others. If we can see others and ourselves stripped of both our failings and our accomplishments, what is left is simply two people with a shared humanity who are both children of God to the same degree. Is this the posture where compassion is birthed? It would seem that something new can be born here out of the acceptance of our shared humanity. And it begins with a character strength of vulnerability.
All of us, to some degree, likely see the world as we would like it to be more so than how it actually is. This always helps to tip the scales in our favor. But if we can allow ourselves a posture of vulnerability, even a little, then perhaps we can strengthen our communities by softening ourselves. The ripples of our forgiveness and compassion can then become the examples for others to look to as the cultural norm rather than the exception.
Tom Lenz
I am a native of Carroll, Iowa, and originally came to Creighton as an undergraduate student in 1988. My wife Nancy and I have four children, two of whom graduated from Creighton. I started my first faculty position at Creighton in 1999, and I am currently a professor in the Department of Family and Community Medicine in the School of Medicine. I direct a Master of Science program in Integrative Health and Wellness and teach compassion science courses to medical and dental students.
It is truly a blessing to be part of the Daily Reflections writing team. Each time I have the opportunity to write a reflection, I am reminded of how rich the readings are with wisdom, love, and kindness. And being able to connect in some way with all those who read the reflections is a joy beyond words.
