I reflect on Isaiah 50:4-9. First off, I want to state that Isaiah is one of my absolute favorite Books of the Bible…so much wisdom is in this book. In particular, I’m reflecting on verses within the first Reading:

“The Lord God has given me a well-trained tongue, that I might know how to speak to the weary a word that will rouse them. Morning after morning He opens my ear that I may hear; and I have not rebelled, have not turned back. “

When reading the very first sentence, I asked myself, what if I’m the “weary?” Because, I know I am the weary. I know the importance of being in the Word and giving it all over to God, I get that. “Morning after morning He opens my ear that I may hear.” I have this pattern of not allowing myself to eat breakfast, which includes my first cup of coffee, until I have had my morning time with God. I know that if I don’t allow myself the time in reflection with our Father, I’m going to have an awful headache for the remainder of the day.

“The Lord GOD is my help, therefore I am not disgraced; I have set my face like flint, knowing that I shall not be put to shame. He is near who upholds my right; if anyone wishes to oppose me, let us appear together…the Lord GOD is my help; who will prove me wrong?” My focus on today’s reading is found in “The Lord GOD is my help.”

I have a personal story to share with you about my journey of understanding the importance of God in our lives. I have experienced many emotional beatings from one who is closest in my life. I have not rebelled nor turned back. I continue to turn my back to the pain and sorrow I have experienced from these “beatings,” trusting that God is right beside me through this journey. I am the caregiver of a person with a severe mental illness; my adult son who counts on me to be the strength when he is unable to even recognize the reality of this world. There are no words to even begin to describe the heart wrenching loss in my life. I have been spit upon, called horrible names, and have not turned back. My Lord God is my help.

Sometimes, God’s blessings come to us in mysterious ways; through pain and trouble. At such times I know God’s goodness only through my TRUST in HIM. I don’t need to understand why the pain and trouble are there, but I do need to trust that God is there, I simply need to call out His name and ask. He is an ever-present help in trouble. Certainly, my heart cries daily for the loss I have experienced of the person whom I gave birth to, helped to educate and know and love, with a strong hope to see that person return to me from the dark places in their mind. I TRUST GOD to take care of it all. Don’t get me wrong, I fail. Often times I don’t have a well-trained tongue, because I am too weary to be that person. But I do know that I have a loving Savior I can go to and ask for the forgiveness and courage during those times. I rely on the words “See the Lord GOD is my help; who will prove me wrong?” Prove me wrong, then you prove God is wrong. The interconnectedness which I have with our God is my lifeblood. When I am foolish and think I’m in charge, God is good to remind me of my role in His world.

I can testify that if I stay strong in the Lord God, I’m right where He wants me to be. It doesn’t mean life is going to be easy. Nor does it mean that things will go the way I think they should go. People may spit in my face, or may turn their backs on me. But I can’t control their lives much like I can’t control my own. I am learning to accept the limitations of what is my reality, and thanking God for those opportunities to walk with Him on this journey.

Do you ever find yourself asking, “Why Me God?” I believe that those unanswered questions will come to light once I share my eternity with Him in our heavenly home. My work here is to be God’s instrument in our earthly home, which means I can’t run and hide from those difficult situations God places in my life. God reminds me to trust Him each and every day. If I quiet my mind and open my heart, I hear HIS words “TRUST ME.” “For the LORD hears the poor, and his own who are in bonds he spurns not.”  What a beautiful promise we have from HIM. What an awesome God we worship.

In peace and solidarity…blessings to all as we come to the end of this season of Lent and as we prepare to celebrate our Savior’s resurrection.