A pit forms in my stomach each time I read this passage. I hear the beginning and I know that Judas will soon betray Jesus. And yet, each time I get to the end where Peter betrays Jesus, I am surprised. I manage to forget that part and am reminded every year. Each time, it makes me sick. At least Judas did not hide his betrayal. But Peter’s feels more personal because he pledges his undying loyalty, then fails to keep it when put to the test. Isn’t this more hurtful in our own lives? When someone breaks a crucial promise to us?

This passage reminds me of the hymn “Here I am Lord.” I think it is because in the song, the verses are a give and take between the Lord and a believer. The Lord asks who He shall send to help accomplish His works in the world. The response is someone asking if it is them who is being called upon to go. This is like our Gospel today. Jesus had spent time cultivating his disciples to go out into the world and spread His good news. And yet, when Peter is called to do so, he balks. We see this same summons in our first reading today: “The LORD called me from birth… You are my servant, he said to me.”

I think it is important to follow Peter’s journey forward after his failure/denial of Jesus. In John 21:15-17, we see Jesus ask Peter if he loves Him three times. And three times Peter says yes. By the third time, he is distressed that Jesus feels the need to ask him so many times. But oh how important it is! Just as Peter denied Jesus three times, he now reaffirms his love for the Lord just as many times. Jesus then charges Peter to go out and feed His people, which he does. Here we are able to see the rehabilitation of Peter and how Jesus forgives him. He then follows the mission Jesus gives him to feed the people, especially spiritually!

How many of us have failed to heed God’s call in our own lives? I know I have been feeling that way lately because my Lent has not been going the way I hoped. The lofty goals I set for myself on Ash Wednesday seem to have fallen by the wayside. Feeling like couldn’t keep my own promises to God, I went to confession this week (at the time I am writing this, it is several weeks before Easter), and was reminded of the depth and beauty of God’s forgiveness. As he forgave Peter for his transgressions, so he forgives ours. If you haven’t been to confession in while, I might encourage the reader to go. Embrace the new start that confession provides, no matter when it comes in your Lenten or yearly journey. May God bless you all on your paths.