In the Gospel chosen for today, the actions of the gardener as Jesus portrays seem to me to be like a God of second and third chances. Though the owner appears to have other plans for the land on which the barren tree sits, the gardener wins the argument and promises to spend extra time and care on the tree for one more year. This will be the last, however. “It may bear fruit next year; if not, then you can cut it down.” I know that when I was a young person my image of God departed widely from this one. Another year to blossom? We didn’t think we’d get another day or two. In fact, my friends and I used to run to the nearest open confessional if we felt something was amiss in how we had acted just in case we might be run down before we could get to our own parish and its regular scheduled confession time. We believed that God had it in Him to catch us unprepared on purpose. To what end? To get back at us for unrepented (before a priest) sinning? I’m not sure what motive we ascribed to God, but I know we were confident that He waited for such a chance. Luckily, I have been led away from that image of God--most of the time. Under stress, I might begin down that path, but I am usually able to pull myself back before too much psychic damage is done or energy wasted. The key for us in this kind of internal dialogue is where we are placing our focus. On our unconditionally loving Creator? Or on ourselves- warts, weaknesses, and all? What’s more interesting is to monitor the result in us of each focus: On ourselves? We are left with disappointment, discouragement, and hopelessness. On God? Gratitude, resolve, and the willingness to share love with ourselves and others. In fact, one of the key graces of the First Week of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius is to come to know ourselves as “redeemed sinners.” It can make all the difference. |