John speaks in absolutes and polarities to drive home his message, but for us human beings it is never so simple as a clear and absolute choice between loving or hating God, between living only in the light or living exclusively in the darkness.

God gives us the dignity of participating in our own salvation by choosing which it is to be, and He gives us the respect of confirming and developing our fundamental faith choice a little more every day by our little choices of values and actions rather than forcing us to choose our destiny in one simple and crushing decision.

It is rather a matter of growth and of slow but steady progress, just as in all aspects of our human life and all our endeavors. 

John is calling us to actual and effective love rather than to mere politeness, just turning aside from causing problems.  It is a reaching out and to the least among us (sometimes even to ourselves), not that we will ever achieve either a constant stance of reaching out or a perfect love for all other people.

John is calling us to be children of God, and he believes deeply in both of parts of that....