I enjoy walking home every day. I have found that the very act of leisurely walking home gives me a chance to declutter my mind and have a chat with God heart-to-heart. Sometimes I also find myself wondering about everything happening in the world that doesn’t seem to make any sense to me. I find myself trying to reconcile the greater purpose for any of the "isms" we can list or debate about. I find myself searching for God's greater purpose or plan for me when things don’t seem to make any sense in my life. Those are the days when I feel like I am one of the pieces on a chessboard, just being moved around and placed logically in grace spaces. However, if I knew God’s next move, would I still pray boldly as I do? Would I know without a doubt that God wouldn’t abandon me? If I knew every move God was going to make, would situations, events, or moments that seem unfair or tragic be easier to bear or live with?

I wonder if Joseph was terrified when his brothers sold him. I wonder if he got a heads-up on God's plan and had no fear of the outcome. I wonder if he knew all along that he had a greater purpose and trusted God to take care of him no matter what happened. When Joseph finally revealed his identity to his brothers, his words to them seemed to embody more than just forgiveness. His words almost had a sense of knowing and cooperation with God. It was as if God let him in on the secret of what would come next, and everyone else was unaware that they had also participated in the greater plan. It is that sense of knowing that I seem to long for these days. The sense of knowing that everything happens for an actual reason, a greater purpose. The sense that every incident, hurt, or injustice will ultimately be balanced out, and the surprisingly good fruits will be revealed, ready to be plucked and enjoyed. If I knew more, maybe I could cooperate with God better; at least, that's what I tell myself.

However, on the days when I am slightly free from my fears of the unknown, and faithful to God’s creative process, I can see how my desire to know outcomes before I trust in God’s plan can be unnecessary baggage. It is an attachment that holds me back and prevents me from cooperating with the Holy Spirit. It prevents me from ministering without wanting recognition. It prevents me from feeling true peace and enjoying a season of friendship before that season passes. It is the attachment that prevents me from risking depending on others or even risking rejection. Holding on to the need to know, and maybe even the need to approve the outcome of things happening in my life, makes me pay too much attention to hurts, loss, and wants.

Maybe this is where the Gospel can provide some help. The Gospel simply prompts us to take nothing along on our journey; God's grace and love are sufficient for us. The Gospel doesn't just tell us to leave our baggage and attachments behind but also prompts us to resist picking up any along the way. Even the dust from our feet should be shaken off as if we were never in that place of rejection or hurt. We are to hold no grudges and bear no malice…. all these are dust… unnecessary baggage. We are to live, minister, and proclaim the word of God in our nakedness…our vulnerability. We are to do what is right even when it's hard and leave others with a sense of our peace whether we feel they deserve it or not. That peace will surely return to us because God, who is impartial, balances out the experience equation when the time is right. That peace is really all that remains with us when we leave this world. Through all our experiences, God reveals to us in different ways that we have always been loved and never abandoned, even if we can not see it at that moment.

Merciful God, help me with the dust I find difficult to shake off…the grudges, the betrayals, the rejections. Please help me to let go of what does not matter. Teach me to see beyond the obvious and anticipate your purposeful response. Teach me to travel lightly through life, so I may feel peace, experience true freedom, and practice discipleship free of measurement. All these I ask in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.