Recently I travelled out of town to conduct a two-day workshop for higher education administrators.  To relax in the evening between my workshop days, I indulged in a “guilty pleasure” of flipping around the channels on the TV in the hotel room.  I enjoy seeing Perry Mason zealously defend a client or watching chefs prepare interesting foods.  As I paused on one of the ubiquitous competition shows, I heard the host tell the contestants: “If you can’t love yourself, how are you going to love someone else?” I appreciated that such a positive message would be highlighted on cable TV.

That piece of sage advice came to mind as I read today’s Gospel from Mark.  We hear Jesus respond to the scribe about which of the commandments is the first.  Jesus says we must: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.”  And before that profound message can begin to sink in, Jesus says: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  Jesus says, “there are no other commandments greater than these”.  This Gospel reading ends with the statement “no one dared to ask him any more questions.” Given how this powerful message from Jesus feels overwhelming, I am not surprised people were quietly lost in thought.

I appreciate this opportunity to reflect upon and pray about love.  The words of the TV host come back to me: “If you can’t love yourself, how are you going to love someone else?” To love our neighbor as ourselves, we need to authentically love ourselves.  This requires reflection, grace and forgiveness.  In the workshop I was leading, we talked often about the difference between being accountable and casting blame.  Being accountable helps us be our better selves and casting blames leads to shame, resentment and inhibits growth and learning. 

I am grateful for the ways I have been able to grow in my ability to love God and my neighbor, but I do not yet feel I am loving with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind and all my strength.  As I prayed for the grace to understand how to grow in my ability to love, I was led to the Fall in Love prayer:

Fall in Love  by Joseph Whelan, SJ and often attributed to Pedro Arrupe, SJ

Nothing is more practical than
finding God, than
falling in Love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.