He is Risen!!  We are still in the Octave of Easter, enjoying the awe of the Resurrection.  Every Easter as I get older seems even more miraculous.  How is it that we are so loved?  I ask myself how is it that I am blessed to be a beloved child of God with my feet of clay?  Am I as loved as the disciple mentioned in the gospel.  John referred to himself that way not to indicate any sort of favoritism (at least that is what I believe) but rather to indicate the love that Jesus has for all of us.  Clearly, Jesus had great trust in and affection for John – He asked him to care for His mother and knew she would receive much love and compassion from John since that was his very nature.

Like so many, I had heard of the series, The Chosen, but had never seen it.  So, right after Ash Wednesday, we decided to binge watch the three seasons currently available.  It seemed a fitting way to start Lent and remember the stories prior to the crucifixion.  I am well aware that liberties were taken with the “back stories” of the various apostles and that unknown facts were filled in with what may or may not be accurate.  However, it did bring a life to each of the apostles and instilled a desire to learn more about this time and the journeys with Jesus.  It allowed me to enter into the gospel in a new way. I have a sense of each apostle as a unique person not just a follower as one might be in a cult.  Rather, men and women with unique needs and quirks, failings and successes – all with the faith to follow Jesus and to have the great privilege of seeing Him in action.  To experience the awe, the power, the adoration of the crowd and the turning of the crowds against Jesus.  It brought me back to some of my questions and wonderment as a child – I loved seeing movies and reading books about the time of Jesus and the early Christians.  I read The Robe, Quo Vadis and saw whatever epic movies there were at the time.  I often wondered what kind of follower would I have been.  Would I have hidden during the crucifixion or stood with Mary and John?  Would have I believed in the Resurrection even if I had not seen the Risen Christ? 

With my penchant for analytical thinking, would I have needed proof like Thomas?  Ah, I do know my heart and feelings will always win over my thinking in the end so my heart would triumph and be filled with the belief of all these things.  I think I would appreciate Matthew’s detailed accounts and accuracy yet welcome the loving approach of John – so faithful and loving to Jesus and Mary.  I think I could have wonderful discussions with Matthew analyzing details and the meaning.  Nonetheless, I think John and I would be close friends wearing our hearts on our sleeve – “feeling” all of this wonder and sharing tears and laughter.  I found some writings about John, the disciple whom Jesus loved, and was fascinated with John and his long life.  I hadn’t realized just how much of the New Testament was written by John and how his writing would be so appealing to me.  His use of imagery and symbolism to explain the many teachings of Jesus particularly appeals to me.  For those familiar with personality temperaments, I am an NF – intuitive feeler – so no surprise that John’s style of writing with the focus on symbols like the numerous “I am” statements would resonant so easily with me.  No wonder, I loved the gospel for today and my favorite Bible verse is John 3:16.  He touches my heart and opens it to allow Jesus in . . .

When I hear this song, I always think of the Apostles and how they would be feeling after the Resurrection – grateful that Jesus is back, confused about all of the meaning for these happenings, and wondering what to do next.  It seemed perfect for today  . . .

The Commission by Cain