In the first reading, Philip the Evangelist is sent on a mission where he meets a man of influence and clarifies a statement from the scriptures. The Psalm expresses gratitude for deliverance. In the Gospel, Jesus identifies himself as the Bread of Life.

I have always had difficulty with this time in the liturgical year between Easter and Pentecost. This is the time of the encounters with the Risen Christ, yet the apostles still remain in hiding. What is holding the apostles back at this point? Is it lingering doubts? Is it fear? What does it say about the transformation that will be instilled by the gift of the Spirit? The weekday readings during this time progress mostly chronologically through the Acts of the Apostles and John’s Gospel and they do not give much insight into these questions.

The passage from the Acts of the Apostles is set at a time well after Pentecost. The Philip of this story is not Philip the Apostle, but rather an assistant appointed at a time when the ranks of the Christians had grown beyond that which could be maintained by the apostles. Philip is obedient accepting the call to make a 50-mile trip to a place whose modern counterpart we see on the nightly news. He encounters a high ranking, non-Jewish official who is on a journey seeking to better understand the scriptures. Philip explains how the scriptures are fulfilled in Jesus and the man is baptized, making the point that Christianity is open to the Gentiles.

Today’s Gospel is set at a time well before Easter during Jesus’ public ministry. In this passage Jesus explains that he is Bread of Life and the source of everlasting life. The preceding and following Gospel passages for this week reveal how this message was confusing and disturbing to both the crowds and his own disciples. (Spoiler alert: Peter will eventually make clear the support for Jesus among the apostles.)

If I imagine myself in the crowd hearing Jesus’ message in today’s Gospel, I can see myself becoming confused, not knowing what Jesus is trying to say. Unaware of what was to come, I could even picture myself walking away baffled based on what I have been told by the “great prophet” who I had ventured out to see.

Today as I wrestle with the questions and uncertainty that this season brings to me, I am moved to pray a refection from Thomas Merton.

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1958) pg. 79