There is so much for me to think about and consider in today’s gospel reading. I can think of many gospel stories that speak directly to me, but this one may be at the top of the list. How I wish it wasn’t true. In preparation for writing this reflection, I have reread Matthew’s Gospel many times, and each time, I think of a different instance when I have performed good deeds, prayed, and sacrificed for all the wrong reasons. Writing this reflection has been an exercise in humility, which is exactly why I am grateful for this opportunity.

Many years ago, I came across the saying, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” I have grown to love and appreciate this pearl of wisdom the older I get because it continues to teach me about how my actions and intentions come together. Many times throughout my adult life, I have volunteered at my church, our kid’s school, local non-profit organizations, or my workplace to help out with various activities. And I would like to think I did so for all the right reasons – because they needed an extra hand. But, if I’m honest, there were times I did so because it would earn favor with my pastor, the principal, or my co-workers and boss. Why?

The same goes for praying. On many Sundays, I love to stand outside the church after mass to talk with people. I love to say hello to my friends, but I also think a part of me wants to feel good about them knowing I went to church, too. Or how about that work project that I spent so much time completing? Did I act more tired than I really was from all the late nights just so others would think I was a hard worker and sacrificed my time and sleep for the greater good of the company? Yes, most certainly I did. Why?

Why have there been times when my actions and intentions were not aligned? It doesn’t seem hard to answer my own question…my ego loves the attention. Getting praise from my peers for helping out, going to church, or putting in the extra effort on a project seems to be some sort of fuel for my actions. But after reflecting on it for a good long time, that reward, compared to the reward when my intentions are in the right alignment, doesn’t even compare. I think this is what Jesus means when he says, “Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.” Yes, it is a reward, but not THE reward…”And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.” The quick “feel good” that my ego receives somehow always fades quickly and is never enough. But, the reward I receive from doing good things, praying, or sacrificing without the fanfare when my intentions are rightly aligned is always enough and has a kind of staying power and depth that my ego rewards just cannot match.

I think I am starting to understand the kind of “payment” that comes from our Father that Jesus is talking about. It’s subtle, quiet, and peaceful but also full of some kind of endless energy that is difficult to describe. And it makes me want more! “How you do anything is how you do everything!” Such wisdom. It’s time to align my anything and everything with right intention.