The Gospel today finds Jesus coming forward ….asking for volunteers to be with him…in the flesh, in the spirit, and as one.  To leave their homes, their community, their way of being, their way of living all for something greater.  What is amazing to me is their faith, their belief, their commitment….they went…immediately.  As I visualize this I have to believe as humans that they were they fearful or had questions,  “let me go home first,” “what is going to happen to me, or my family if I am absent?"  What made these men stay?  Were their spiritual souls empty? Or were they wanting adventure something new? Were they having family troubles and wanting to escape? Their soul had to speak at some level …..this is good, this will be ok.

Jesus talked to them in their language, he lived among them in the “ordinary” and yet they were witness to amazing miracles. Perhaps there was a daily peace in the ordinary and this kept them “beside" Jesus. And the believers apart from Jesus were able to bear witness to miracles or the extraordinary and these believers were also “beside” Jesus.

In this past year as I look back, my best decisions, my best moments, when I was spiritually full was when I handed my decision, my moment and my soul to God.  I quit trying to control and just let it be.  Replacing my anxiety, my fears, my anger with Prayer asking God to please take this and do what is best.  I found my anxiety, fears and anger dissipate, replaced with calm. And the situation resolved and I thanked God for the insight to hand it over.  

So as I begin this new year …I begin my day with a prayer and ask God to be with me, to make me aware of the “ordinary” Godly graces, to hand over the anxiety, the fear and the anger and to be in the moment with others.  To let God into my life daily.