When I was a child, I lacked the ability to fully understand the weight of this gospel reading. I could not grasp why the circumstances surrounding the conception of Jesus were unique, or why Joseph wanted to leave Mary because of them. They loved each other after all… So why would he wish to go? But most importantly, I did not consider Joseph following the angel’s direction to be of consequence. My young, obsessed with following the rules self, thought Joseph had better listen to that angel. We wouldn’t want to anger God - He knows best.

With the gift of maturity and education, I can now grasp the beauty in this gospel far better. Joseph was no doubt terrified when he found out Mary was pregnant. He had a noble heart, and wanted to end things quietly out of his respect for Mary. Surely, he wanted to avoid a public scandal, and all that would entail for himself and those around him. But when confronted by the angel of the Lord who implored Joseph to take a different path, he did as he was bid. He did not question, or argue, or complain.

Now I must examine my own life. How many times have I been asked to do things, not only by God, but by others, and dragged my feet at even the idea of doing what was asked? What about when God has nudged me in certain directions? Have I ignored Him out of fear? Fear of the unknown, of what would happen if things went wrong? By saying yes to God, Joseph drastically changed the course of his own life, and those of the whole world by helping to care for Mary and Jesus. How could the things that are asked of me possibly compare to such a great sacrifice?

While I certainly do not have the answers to the questions I just asked myself, they do make me feel somewhat ashamed of my shortcomings. There are times that I could have been a better child of God, but I failed. Now, without getting despondent, I think that shame can have the positive effect of being a powerful motivator. What prayerful practices could I engage in to help me hear the Lord’s call?  What good am I being called to do, but am holding back from because I fear it will put me at a disadvantage?

I must remind myself that God’s will never puts us at a disadvantage. My perspective on things is limited because I am only human.

God the Father, help me to heed your call as Joseph did, even when the very thought of doing so is terrifying. By trusting in You, I pray the fruits of such actions will be spread throughout my life and the lives of those around me.