Today’s Gospel is the final portion of a long instructional discourse Jesus is giving his 12 disciples as part of their missioning and commissioning.

It is not a pretty picture that he paints. He seems to be preparing them for worst-case scenarios:

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth.
I have come to bring not peace but the sword.
For I have come to set
a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;
and one’s enemies will be those of his household.”

Wow, seriously? I imagine his detractors could have used these and other similar quotes to “prove” that he was not from God because the Messiah was to be the Prince of Peace and would bring a reign of tranquility.

Of course, his disciples didn’t see it that way. None of them left him at that point. They knew him well and they understood he was speaking metaphorically. They knew he exuded peace and love and acceptance, so they knew he was not calling them to wreak havoc among their families and friends and arm themselves with swords.
They knew, just as we should know today as well, that he was conveying the importance, the significance, the hazards that could befall them if they followed him and preached in his name. He didn’t want them to falsely believe that their lives would be all sunshine and roses as Christians. He wanted them to know that, at times, his words would divide people sharply, like a sword divides whatever it slices.

The context of what someone is saying and the essence of who people are, their complexity, matters. Unfortunately, in today’s world, with some social media platforms, sound bites, short TV news segments, political ads, and advertising in general, there is no context, just one-sided brevity, and it is often harsh.

We really can’t understand someone and the complexity of their beliefs if we don’t know much about their whole personhood and the context of what they are saying. When we know a person’s background and history, and we also have context for their views, we know more of the fullness of a person.

That’s why our first impressions of people are so often wrong. It takes time to get to know someone, and even then, there can be misunderstandings. But when we know someone well, we can straighten out the misunderstanding by asking questions and having discussions, and then carry on with the relationship.

I think the disciples knew what Jesus meant when he said:

“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,
and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
and whoever does not take up his cross
and follow after me is not worthy of me.”

Jesus was not arrogant and self-centered. He was constantly giving himself away. But I think he said these words to the apostles just so they wouldn’t misconstrue his lack of puffery, self-importance and ego, and miss seeing who he really was. If they loved their families more than they loved God, or couldn’t shoulder difficulties that would come their way as Christian leaders, they would not be effective in getting God’s truth out to the world.

And when he said, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it,” he again was stressing that pursuing one’s own goals and objectives in life, without aligning with God’s will for them, falls far short of what a life dedicated to building God’s kingdom can yield.

If they didn’t understand parts of what he was saying, I’m sure the disciples asked him questions and discussed their confusion with him along the road or at a dinner table or over a firepit preparing food. That’s what friends do, and that’s what we should do, in prayer or with a spiritual advisor, when we have questions about Jesus’ words as well. And when we don’t have the full context and don’t truly know someone well, we should talk further with them if possible to try to get to know them and avoid making rash conclusions and judgments about them based on brief encounters.